[neverme]

I'm going to agree to disagree with you on this one because I just really am not of the same belief as you. I have spoken not only with this close friend but also with other men who are bi and have found it difficult. Some gay men and women although it seems as thou they don't even belong in the same category in your mind, that have found it very difficult to get their own head around their sexuality.

[cadillac59]

im going to agree to disagree with you on this one cos i just really am not of the same belief as you. i have spoken not only with this close friend but also with other men who are bi and have found it difficult. some gay men and women although it seems as thou they dont even belong in the same catagory in your mind, that have found it very difficult to get their own head around their sexuality.

I'm not sure I understand what you mean. Maybe the easiest way to understand what I am saying, without trying to offend anyone, is that yes, you will find men out there who say they are bi and like both men and women. But, give them time, maybe 20 or even 30 years and come back and see them and if they were leaning in the direction of males earlier they are almost always going to be flat out gay later on. If they leaned in the direction of females, they will almost always wind up married saying the gay thing was just youthful experimentation. See what I mean?

[Synnen]

You will stop hijacking other threads with this topic. Period.

Express your opinion if you want in another thread, but STOP ARGUING with other members in such a manner that it takes away from the original question asked by someone else.

This is NOT an area for personal debate... invite people back to this thread to discuss it with you, but STOP IT with the personal crusade in other peoples' threads.

[cadillac59]

You will stop hijacking other threads with this topic. Period.

Express your opinion if you want in another thread, but STOP ARGUING with other members in such a manner that it takes away from the original question asked by someone else.

This is NOT an area for personal debate....invite people back to this thread to discuss it with you, but STOP IT with the personal crusade in other peoples' threads.

With all due respect, I thought this was my thread and my topic.

[Synnen]

THIS thread is your topic, and your question.

I moved the five posts previous to you asking whether this is your thread and your topic from a completely different thread.

[neverme]

Cadillac,
This may happenbut it doesn't obliterate the concept of bisexuality in either males or females. Some people, no matter who they end up with, ARE BISEXUAL. It is a person's choice and opinion of themselves, not yours! How can you not see this?

[Choux]

I have no bad feelings toward people who call themselves bi-sexual... from my point of view, that seems to be an *enlightened* sexuality for adults.

I haven't known but one or so bi, so my opinions were formed by reading on the subject which was folks lean primarily toward one sexuality... but they enjoy sex with both sexes.

I apologize if my initial answer was given too cavalierly... I didn't think any bi was emotional or would be emotional about this question or the subject of bisexuality.

Backing out...

PS Oh, I see, the question was "Does Bisexuality Exist"... now I fully understand.

Backing out...

[cadillac59]

cadillac,
this may happenbut it doesnt obliterate the concept of bisexuality in either males or females. some people, no matter who they end up with, ARE BISEXUAL. it is a person's choice and personal opinion of themselves, not yours! how can you not see this?

Obviously people can and do define themselves as they like. I know that. And we have to go by what they say about themselves. But people never choose their sexual orientation.

Now, female bisexuality may well exist and that's a completely different subject. I really have no opinion about that (I note with interest the number of threads by women asking if they should be considered bisexual and so on and how they have same-sex and opposite sex attractions at the same time but this is simply not what I am concerned with on this thread).

The reality is about half (40% or so) of all men who report being bisexual today will later proclaim they are and always were gay. Why? Probably because of confusion over definitions (not confusion over how they feel)-- in other words, if they've ever had sex with a woman, even if it were just once compared with 99 other times with men they might assume that makes them "bi" by definition, which it does not. Or, contrariwise, if they've always loved and had sex with women but just tried sex once or twice with a male friend- even to later decide they didn't like it- they might assume that meant they were bi. But it does not. Or, they might be trying very hard not to be gay, they might be suppressing same-sex attraction and forcing on themselves sex with women (maybe even a marriage) just to try to change or convince others they are not gay and because of this believe they are bi. None of these things make a man bisexual.

The reason I come out so strongly against the notion of bisexuality in men is not only because I don't think it exists, but also because I think the belief it exists is harmful. I've heard of couples who remained married for years believing the husband was bisexual and only needed to get out once and a while and be with a guy to satisfy his needs, only to find out a decade or so later that he was gay all along and that there was no possible hope for the marriage. I've heard of guys staying in marriages -even re-marrying- because of the belief they were bi only to hurt some woman in the process when they later decided they were not bi but just gay.

[neverme]

Obviously people can and do define themselves as they like. I know that. And we have to go by what they say about themselves. But people never choose their sexual orientation.

Now, female bisexuality may well exist and that's a completely different subject. I really have no opinion about that (I note with interest the number of threads by women asking if they should be considered bisexual and so on and how they have same-sex and opposite sex attractions at the same time but this is simply not what I am concerned with on this thread).

The reality is about half (40% or so) of all men who report being bisexual today will later proclaim they are and always were gay. Why? Probably because of confusion over definitions (not confusion over how they feel)-- in other words, if they've ever had sex with a woman, even if it were just once compared with 99 other times with men they might assume that makes them "bi" by definition, which it does not. Or, contrariwise, if they've always loved and had sex with women but just tried sex once or twice with a male friend- even to later decide they didn't like it- they might assume that meant they were bi. But it does not. Or, they might be trying very hard not to be gay, they might be suppressing same-sex attraction and forcing on themselves sex with women (maybe even a marriage) just to try to change or convince others they are not gay and because of this believe they are bi. None of these things make a man bisexual.

The reason I come out so strongly against the notion of bisexuality in men is not only because I don't think it exists, but also because I think the belief it exists is harmful. I've heard of couples who remained married for years believing the husband was bisexual and only needed to get out once and a while and be with a guy to satisfy his needs, only to find out a decade or so later that he was gay all along and that there was no possible hope for the marraige. I've heard of guys staying in marriages -even re-marrying- because of the belief they were bi only to hurt some woman in the process when they later decided they were not bi but just gay.

I understand that you have your own opinions but you DO NOT speak for all men, I'm sorry but there is no way I can agree with you. I believe I was telling you about a friend of mine who is male AND bi (irregardless of your opinion) is now a father and with the mother of the child but still believes he is bi.
Bisexuality in men is not necessarily harmful, it is for some but that is due to their own and their wives actions or reactions to the situation. This is not the nature of bisexuality necessarily and bisexuality as a concept cannot be blamed for these situations.

[WakkieRob]

Everyone fascinates about who or how they would like sex this is normal for everyone it depends on how relaxed they feel in there environment. If I had the chance I would have sex five times a day I love it, its one of those little pleasures of life enjoy it don't worry about what other people feel. There probably jealous because they don't have as much opportunity and don't get it on as often as they like. This is like when you see someone else with a beautiful woman/man and you don't have one I guess.

[neverme]

Everyone fascinates about who or how they would like sex this is normal for everyone it depends on how relaxed they feel in there environment. If I had the chance I would have sex five times a day I love it, its one of those little pleasures of life enjoy it don’t worry about what other people feel. There probably jealous because they don’t have as much opportunity and don’t get it on as often as they like. This is like when you see someone else with a beautiful woman/man and you don’t have one I guess.

Huh?

[cadillac59]

huh?

Yeah, I didn't quite follow that either.

[michealb]

There was a scientific study a few years back on this very topic. If I remember the results correctly it said that in general men aren't bi-sexual. Even men who said they were bi-sexual in general weren't. They were either gay or straight. For women though it was a completely different story. Most women who claimed to be bi-sexual were bi-sexual and even a good percentage of the women that claimed to be gay or straight were actually bi-sexual. Interesting things you find reading through science journals all day long. If I can find the study again I'll post it later.

Just remember no reason to be mad at me about this as I say this article said in general which means if you feel differently this paper didn't say you in particular aren't what you say you are.

[WakkieRob]

michealb, so your saying you can have had sex with a man and a woman but still be straight how come surely it's bi isn't it.

[michealb]

What the study was focusing on was whether you were attracted to men and women not just if you have sex with them.
So even if you have sex with men and women if you not turned on by both your not bisexual at least according to the definition used by the study. Your definition may be different and that's fine too.

[smoothy]

I don't think the guys having sex with other men are closing their eyes and pretending it's a woman.

They obviously have some attraction to them even if its not porportionally equal to the other genders atraction.

Like I said before. THere are few is any true opposing absolutes in nature without having quite a few instances that fall between those two points.

[sad_eyes]

I'm not sure I understand what you mean. Maybe the easiest way to understand what I am saying, without trying to offend anyone, is that yes, you will find men out there who say they are bi and like both men and women. But, give them time, maybe 20 or even 30 years and come back and see them and if they were leaning in the direction of males earlier they are almost always going to be flat out gay later on. If they leaned in the direction of females, they will almost always wind up married saying the gay thing was just youthful experimentation. See what I mean?

Why do you live in a world that is black and white when real life isn't like that. Someone might come out today and lead a "gay" life when 10 years earlier they were living a "bi" life, but that doesn't mean that they were never bi and were always gay. It just means that they were bi then and gay now. I find it bizarre that with all the prejudice about homosexuality, you haven't learned to be more open minded. Even if you were right in saying most bi men would say they were actually gay, what about the small percent who wouldn't agree with that statement. Even if its rare, is that still grounds to say it doesn't exist?

[neverme]

why do you live in a world that is black and white when real life isnt like that. someone might come out today and lead a "gay" life when 10 years earlier they were living a "bi" life, but that doesnt mean that they were never bi and were always gay. it just means that they were bi then and gay now. i find it bizarre that with all the prejudice about homosexuality, you havent learned to be more open minded. even if you were right in saying most bi men would say they were actually gay, what about the small percent who wouldnt agree with that statement. even if its rare, is that still grounds to say it doesnt exist?

Exactly, the fact that you feel the bad side of prejudice against gay people yet insist on perpetuating and building the prejudice against bisexual.. it reminds me of the people who say gay people can be cured... do you find that statement ridiculous?

[WakkieRob]

exactly, the fact that you feel the bad side of prejudice against gay people yet insist on perpetuating and building the prejudice against bisexual..it reminds me of the people who say gay people can be cured...do you find that statement rediculous??

A Gay man can rape a straight guy is this the same for woman and how?

[cadillac59]

There was a scientific study a few years back on this very topic. If I remember the results correctly it said that in general men aren't bi-sexual. Even men who said they were bi-sexual in general weren't. They were either gay or straight. For women though it was a completely different story. Most women who claimed to be bi-sexual were bi-sexual and even a good percentage of the women that claimed to be gay or straight were actually bi-sexual. Interesting things you find reading through science journals all day long. If I can find the study again I'll post it later.

Just remember no reason to be mad at me about this as I say this article said in general which means if you feel differently this paper didn't say you in particular aren't what you say you are.

I've mentioned this before. Yes there was a study done I believe through the University of Chicago done in association with researchers from a University in Toronto. The results were reported in the New York Times a few years ago and the study concluded that bisexuality in men likely did not exist (or at least the study cast VERY serious doubt on whether it existed) because it found a majority of bisexual men to respond to sexual stimuli (by use of gay and straight porn) exactly as gay men with a minority responding exactly as straight men. In other words, there was no unique bisexual response to the same stimuli suggesting that bisexuality in men (the study did not involve women) was not a stable sexual orientation as was heterosexuality and homosexuality. Hence, it could represent only a transitional state or be the result of confusion is definitions of sexual orientation.

It was an interesting study, highly criticized however and it admittedly only involved a small sample size but it still raised some fascinating questions.