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DJ 'H' · Jun 6, 2006, 09:26 AM

I cannot force him though - I have tried to push for an explanation and all he does is get angry, defensive and starts a row with me!

We did not row once when we were together - that's what I don't understand?

talaniman · Jun 6, 2006, 09:30 AM

Maybe you two are overdo and need to confront each other!

Wildcat21 · Jun 6, 2006, 09:48 AM

Can't spread the love but I agree.

I don't mean to be harsh, be we need to deal in reality here to get the REAL answers.

I just have a strong feeling Pete will come around. Just my gut feeling.

kp2171 · Jun 6, 2006, 11:58 AM

The guys got short time to be a man about it and come clean. I'm so mad after reading this he's lucky that he's not in front of me.

Anger can easily be the reaction to being forced to face guilt, whether that is guilt from cheating or simply guilt from having to face his changed feelings. The strange behavior at the party makes me wonder if he's simply in an unstable place.

I had a 7 year relationship crash and burn similar to this. She wasn't cheating, but she was interested in dating other people. She knew I was good and true to her and her guilt basically made her upset and mad all the time. In retrospect, I'm glad it ended when it did... but that's little consolation now to you, I know.

As for the baby, take some time, gather your friends, focus on each day. You've got so much going on, but you are strong enough to get through this.

You just deserve to be treated much, much better than this.

Blazingsun · Jun 6, 2006, 12:08 PM

Well, I've read over all this like some intence novel and I'm sorry it's real and it's your life. *hugs*

I suspect there is someone else. Peer pressure can be an ugly mean thing, and to an unsure mind it can be very powerful. Perhaps he wasn't sure, but his friends cohersed him into something with 'someone'...

I was married for 4 years, and thought everything was fine. I came home one day after work and found my hubby and all his things were gone.

There were some odd behaviors.. he had new friends he'd stay out with at night from his work and stuff,. I thought nothing of it until he was gone and said it was over.

I had to meet him in court for something only a few months after we had been separated and he already had some woman on his arm. I suspect she is the reason for the sudden change in his behavior and his leaving.

Pete I think has had something similar happen to him.

As hard as it may be, I'd try and move on. If he doesn't want to own up to the reason why he has suddenly broken things off, never mind him and move on with your life.

And the baby... never mind what is socially acceptable or not. What people may think. It's up to YOU. It's your body that going to be stretched and altered while this thing grows inside you... it's a life commitment. If you are not ready or able to give yourself to this permanent reminder of Pete, you know what to do.

I wish you the best in all this... we are just voices in the storm which now surrounds you.

kp2171 · Jun 6, 2006, 01:27 PM

Originally Posted by Blazingsun

And the baby... nevermind what is socially acceptable or not. What people may think. it's up to YOU. it's your body that going to be stretched and altered while this thing grows inside you...it's a life commitment. If you are not ready or able to give yourself to this permanent reminder of Pete, you know what to do.

I'm not going to get into an argument of what you should do. Most of the posts have said take some time to think things through so you won't regret a decision, one way or another.

The only thing I'd say concerning the above comment is that I think its wrong to consider the baby simply a permanent reminder of pete. My wife was pregnant at 19 from a man she later learned to be a south american mercenary... really, really scary stuff. They were never married and the father was not part of his daughters life. But I suspect that kaye was never looked at by my wife as a "permanent reminder" of that man, and shed never use those terms to describe her daughter today.

DJ 'H' · Jun 7, 2006, 01:15 AM

Originally Posted by Wildcat21

Can't spread the love but I agree.

I don't mean to be harsh, be we need to deal in reality here to get the REAL answers.

I just have a strong feeling Pete will come around. Just my gut feeling.

I am staying at my friend Kellys as she has gone on holiday - so I am house sitting for her. Pete is popping over to have a chat about stuff tonight. Not sure if he itnends to talk about what happened between us and the pregnancy or just the pregnancy!

But when you say your gut reckons he will come round - what do you mean by that?

So many people think Pete and I will get back together because we are made for each other - but I can't be optimistic and grip onto a hope that just won't happen!

DJ 'H' · Jun 7, 2006, 04:47 AM

I am going round and round in circles where the baby is concerned. I don't know if I should keep it? Or if getting rid of it is the right thing to do? - boy I am so confused right now! Nothing is helping me with my decision!

mr.yet · Jun 7, 2006, 04:55 AM

Holly, read your post I feel you need to reach inside yourself and get away to do some soul searching on your own. Get away if possbile for a few days consider the pros and cons of the baby and Pete, What would be in your best interest, only you can say, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

JoeCanada76 · Jun 7, 2006, 06:19 AM

I am glad to here that Pete is coming around to talk to you. Do not expect anything and I know it is hard trying to wrap around trying to figure out what he has to talk to you about but I think it is normal to wonder what he has to say. So I hope that both of you are able to talk everything out. If he is coming over. I would listen to him. See what he has to say. Here him out and hopefully he will have your answers.

Take it easy, and take all your vitamins.

Joe

DJ 'H' · Jun 7, 2006, 07:20 AM

Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

I am glad to here that Pete is coming around to talk to you. Do not expect anything and I know it is hard trying to wrap around trying to figure out what he has to talk to you about but I think it is normal to wonder what he has to say. So I hope that both of you are able to talk everything out. If he is coming over. I would listen to him. See what he has to say. Here him out and hopefully he will have your answers.

Take it easy, and take all your vitamins.

Joe

I will joe, I will listen intently! Fingers crossed.

Trying to take things easy - but its hard because I am missing Pete and have so much on my mind.

Wildcat21 · Jun 7, 2006, 07:35 AM

What I meant by 'Pete coming around' is I believe he well be there for you.

Please fill us in on what happened. Very interested. This is kind of new territory for us here.

DJ 'H' · Jun 7, 2006, 08:35 AM

Originally Posted by Wildcat21

What I ment by 'Pete coming around' is I believe he well be there for you.

Please fill us in on what happened. Very interested. This is kind of new territory for us here.

Its very new territory for me.

Thanks for your support Wildcat! Thanks to everyone. I will keep you posted without a doubt!

Wildcat21 · Jun 7, 2006, 10:22 AM

Should be interesting. I agree on listening. I hope he listens to you!

Wildcat21 · Jun 7, 2006, 09:42 PM

No word from Holly yet... I really want to know what happened.

JoeCanada76 · Jun 7, 2006, 10:52 PM

Same here wildcat. I hope all is well, and Holly will in time be able to let us know how everything went.

DJ 'H' · Jun 8, 2006, 01:12 AM

He did not say anything about the situation. He just turned up and everything was like it always has been between us and we got on really well accept we did not snuggle, hug or anything. It was also very awkward when he left. He looked at me went to say something and then refraineed from saying it and said I'll see you when I see you.

I had a film on when he turned up and when I was laughing at the funny parts I sw in the corner of my eye him look at me on several occasions.

I am no clearer and even more confused than before. It did not help me one little bit - if anything it has made me feel worse!

Krs · Jun 8, 2006, 01:59 AM

I think pete is being very unfair to you. Under all the circumstances he should know better, after all it takes 2 to tango not just 1, and besides the fact that you broke up he should be more realistic about the issue in hand i.e your pregnant with his baby!
I wish I could u more support you must be going through hell, due to the mixed signals he is giving you and the pain he caused.

DJ 'H' · Jun 8, 2006, 02:24 AM

Tell me about it! The thing that did upset me though (although did not let him think I was bothered) was him telling me about his holiday plans. He has booked two weeks off work to go down to stay at his parents apartment with his family. How he is doing this and doing that! - he is doing all these things and I am stuck pregnant with no way forward! Not able to make holiday plans and no one to go on holiday with! He does not seem to realise how alone I am and how much I need some help to make a decision!

Krs · Jun 8, 2006, 02:46 AM

MMMMM... I think you need to sit him down, tie him to a chair and yell at him about your problems.. your issues as decissions need to be made and he is part of this, and should be helping you through it! Not being an immature boy! Living his life like there is no tomorrow and being selfish and only thinking about himself.
Be strong and firm with him, make it sink in that these issues are not yours only but his too.