[minicupcake]

Ok so the other day me and my best friend had a sleepover. We called my boyfriend and we talked to him all night and the whole time he was talking to her way more then me. The next day he came over to my house and me, my boyfriend and my friend went to the park. She was messing around with him throwing leaves at him and flirting and he flirted back. After a while I just started walking away and just sitting down to see if he would come with me or stay with her, and he stayed with her. Then I tried her leaving and me staying and he followed her. A week later I slept over her house again, we called him again and he asked us to send a picture of us to see what we were doing but my phone can't send picture mail so we had to send it from hers and he knew that. I did not want him to have her number because I knew something was going on but I just went along with it and sent him the picture from her phone to see what would happen. Later that night he gave her his myspace there was when I stopped talking because I got really upset. They just kept talking for an hour while I was sitting there listening to them talk. My friend noticed that I wasn't talking but he didn't. After that I hung up and we were about to go to sleep. He started texting her exactly what I thought was going to happen. I texted him 'I hate you' and he said 'whatever is it because I'm talking to Jamie (my friend)?' so I told him 'No its because you were talking to her and didn't even care that I wasn't talking' He just said whatever then I just turned my phone off. In the morning when we woke up I texted him and he didn't even answer and like five seconds later he texts my friend. So I got really upset again and I just ignored it and went home. What do you think I should do? :confused:

[JBeaucaire]

I think you should take a deep breath, relax, calm down, and step out of this situation in your mind for a moment. You need to be able to look at life honestly.

You like/love your boyfriend. You like/love your best friend. Right?

Now the hard part. Do you think you should get your way no matter it costs you? I know he's your boyfriend, but is this "til the end of time" behavior you're having with him? I don't see that. Sounds to me like normal "lasts a few a months and is fun while it lasts" behavior.

That means you're not going to be with this guy forever. Relax. Think about that. I bet you even know that to be true at some level.

So, if you can admit that this guy isn't your Mr. Forever, then you are capable of dealing with this situation far more maturely than even you realize.

If you two are going to only last a while, then move on, you CAN know that ahead of time, and even facilitate the process. If he's already started the process of falling for your best friend, you COULD be a good friend to them and not be melodramatic and fatalistic about it.

All I'm saying is you WILL lose the guy at some point in the future. But, losing the friend(s), too... well, that's a different story and doesn't have to be the result.

This exact thing happened to me and my first love. We were together 2 years, and she ended up dating on of my best friends next... it was way awkward at first, but both she and he were good people, so I had no reason to lose that, too. So I didn't. When the awkwardness faded, we were all still there loving each other.

Maturity sucks, it really does. It involves putting other people ahead of ourselves and that sucks, too. But in the end, we benefit a lot from being mature.

Think about it.

[minicupcake]

So I just started talking to him and so far this is what we've said lol
Me:Hey can I talk to you for a sec
Him:Ok what
Me:You want to know why I wasn't talking yesterday
Him:Yes
Me:Ok remember when you came to my house
Him:Yes
Me:She was flirting with you and every time I walked away you would stay with her and then yesterday you talked to her and not me and you were texting her to and cause you gave her your myspace
Him:She was flirting with me?
Me:Yea I know how she flirts
Him:why would she flirt with me
Me:Idk
Him:No she wasn't flirting
Me:By the way you texting her is really pissing me off
Him:Why
Me:Well you get mad at me when I talk to your friend
Him:Exactly you talk to Alex (his friend) I talk to hannah (myfriend)
Me:I don't talk to him anymore
Him:You did before
Me:Whatever you choose you can either talk to her or be with me
Him:Are you kidding
Me:Nope
Him:Why:
Me:Cuz
Him:Why
Me:Just choose
Him:No
Me:Why
Him:Give me one reason
Me:Because its really pissing me off
Him:What is wrong with you
Me:Nothing
Him:Whatever
Me:So what you going to do?
Him:Omg
Me:What
Him:She's just a friend how do you think I felt when you talked to Alex (his friend)
Me:Idk but I'm sorry and I did stop talking to him and I would have stopped before that if you actually told me how you felt about it
Him:Well I will evetually stop to
Me:Eventually?
Him:I will stop
Me:When?
Him:Idk
Me:Then ima break up with you
Him: OMG you always talked to Alex (his friend)
Me:Well that was before
Him:Whatever

[JBeaucaire]

Wow, you nicely did exactly the opposite of what I recommended. Exactly opposite.

Nice call. I read that exchange and wonder what you think you're actually going "win" this way.

Well, good luck to you.

[ttyl-miracle]

wow, that was a pretty great way to handle that. i am proud of you, altho i would have been a lil more aggressive :D

[insomniaticmeat]

OK I'm a guy and I am in this same situation right now and I juts got to tell youone thing where is it written into our systems that we have to love juts one person its unfortunate its your friend very unfortunate but what you got to do is sit them both down and say exactly what's on your mind don't make a drama of the situation tell him if he messes up he loses you both.. OK? Thaqts froma guys point of view juts be honest.. and hell respond be staright up or he will get confused..

[ttyl-miracle]

I surprised at you, insomniatcmeat
You have overcome your fear of living
:D

[ttyl-miracle]

lol, then help yourself (carefully)
everybody likes helping people
I do, too
I only help because I'm bored (^^o)
your not a pathetic loser, u should c my grandpa ^u^

[insomniaticmeat]

Haha man life is crazy innit? And I'm also bored:L

[minicupcake]

Wow, you nicely did exactly the opposite of what I recommended. Exactly opposite.

Nice call. I read that exchange and wonder what you think you're actually going "win" this way.

Well, good luck to you.

I don't really get it lol...

[Chery]

ttyl-miracle[/b];1328036]lol, then help yourself (carefully)
everybody likes helping ppl
i do, too
i only help because im bored (^^o)
ur not a pathetic loser, u should c my grandpa ^u^

Show some respect here!

Coming from a 'grandma', I think you two (insomniaticmeat) should really find another place to 'chat' - check the rules on this please...

And if bored, find a fun place to communicate and not txt to someone without punctuation, that does not need help in dealing with inner confused emotions and stay out of issues that you don't know much about yet either. Your turn will come when you think your heart has been broken, then we'll talk again.

I'd appreciate that a lot. Your grandpa might seem like a pathetic loser to you, but he's got more life's experience under his belt than you'll ever know - you could actually learn something from him.

[Chery]

I don't really get it lol...

One day, dear.. you'll understand. Until then, just enjoy life and growing up - we all have to go through it.

Remember when you were a kid playing with others in the sandbox and there was a bit of jealousy and dispute over a special toy? Well, I don't know how old you are, but it's the same scenario, just at a different age and stage of development. This time though, the toy is a living human being who makes choices over who he wants to be 'played' with. You don't own him so he will do what he wants when he wants to - to include flirting with your best friend if she lets him. And he's also expressed his emotions by being upset when you 'talked' to another. At that age, we should be able to talk to anyone we want without feeling guilty or having someone upset about it.

You obviously see this friendship with him as 'exclusive' and think that they should also see it the way you do. Well, unless you made special promises to each other (like love, honor, stay together forever) - you should not be surprised that life and growing up with a few disappointments will happen and you will have to learn to deal with it. It's not going to kill you, I promise. And you should be able to tell them about your feelings without 'putting on a mad' and walking off in a huff when things don't go your way. So seriously think of what JBeaucaire said to you - he's right, and you know it. It does not make the hurt any less, but you'll get over it. We promise.

Believe me, I know how you feel, and so do millions of other girls at that stage, so just accept it and find new friends to share your time with if they bother you too much. It won't last long, and your girlfriend will pay attention to you again.

As for the boy(toy) - he'll go on in life flirting with hundreds of other girls until he's old enough to have a serious adult relationship.. by then, you'll have long forgotten him or will laugh about all this with the special guy that you found on the path still ahead of you.

Next time, it will be you who will receive all the attention and the other girlfriend will be upset about it - that's life and nobody said it's going to be great all the time.

Hang in there dear and come talk to us any time you need to.

[minicupcake]

Uhm.. well we're all good now me my friend and my boyfriend and his friend lol

[Chery]

Uhm.. well we're all good now me my friend and my boyfriend and his friend lol

Now you know that taking a deep breath, thinking things out, and then talking about it can go a long way to solving issues instead of letting your temper rule.

Good luck dear.

[ttyl-miracle]

Lol, life is crazy, mmhm. I'm also writing a novel, you should read it when it gets published :P :) know why? Because it's about little 6th graders :D it'll give you a real hard handle and loving life :O

[ttyl-miracle]

Chery, who are you to start a lecture about my weed smoking "i hate my life!" quoting grandpa? God, learn to stay in modern times, and we're not elderly, so would we know better?

[Chery]

chery, who are you to start a lecture about my weed smoking "i hate my life!" quoting grandpa? god, learn to stay in modern times, and we're not elderly, so would we know better?

Being bored and complaining about your grandfather has nothing whatsoever to do with this thread or the Original Posters question. You do have some idea of what things in life are right or wrong for you, so you 'should' know better than to interject here just out of boredom.
Your issue with your family life and your emotional anger over it have no place on this thread, and I suggest you start one of your own to get help and advice about it from those who are in the same situation.
So, who am I?. the one who is telling you that there are rules here, and it would be nice of you to abide by them.. that's all. Also the one who is telling you this is NOT a chat room. No hard feelings, but we are here helping people as much as we can, for free, so we all have a right to our opinions based on our expertise... and while doing so, we can also show some respect and not fly off the handle - that gets us nowhere at all.

So, please do start your own thread telling us why you feel your grandfather does not deserve your respect and I will be more than willing to try and help with my 2-cent's worth, if not, that's cool.

C.U. again somewhere, sometime on the forum. Just hopefully not on this thread unless you have something constructive to add to it. PM me if you are not satisfied with my reply...

[Chery]

haha man life is crazy innit? and im also bored:L

It would be nice if you could explain what your reply has to do with the Original Poster's question. So sorry that you're bored, and am sure that your answer really helped her a lot.

[minicupcake]

Being bored and complaining about your grandfather has nothing whatsoever to do with this thread or the Original Posters question. You do have some idea of what things in life are right or wrong for you, so you 'should' know better than to interject here just out of boredom.
Your issue with your family life and your emotional anger over it have no place on this thread, and I suggest you start one of your own to get help and advice about it from those who are in the same situation.
So, who am I?... the one who is telling you that there are rules here, and it would be nice of you to abide by them..that's all. Also the one who is telling you this is NOT a chat room. No hard feelings, but we are here helping people as much as we can, for free, so we all have a right to our opinions based on our expertise ... and while doing so, we can also show some respect and not fly off the handle - that gets us nowhere at all.

So, please do start your own thread telling us why you feel your grandfather does not deserve your respect and I will be more than willing to try and help with my 2-cent's worth, if not, that's cool.

C.U. again somewhere, sometime on the forum. Just hopefully not on this thread unless you have something constructive to add to it. PM me if you are not satisfied with my reply...

Are u 2 fighting online? Haha *cough* losers *cough*

[starbuck8]

chery, who are you to start a lecture about my weed smoking "i hate my life!" quoting grandpa? god, learn to stay in modern times, and we're not elderly, so would we know better?

I gave you an AGREE totally by mistake!! You did NOT deserve that, and that was my fault. How dare you talk to one of our valued members the way you did! You were completely disrespectful, and I WILL be reporting you. Go find another playground! :rolleyes: