[NoWheretoTurn38]

Hi Everyone,

I'm a 38 year old mother of 4 children. I have been married for 15 years. Not even sure how this came about, but about 5 years ago I started playing lottery scratch tickets. It was all fun and games at first, but a year later I was heavily into playing them. I became addicted. Blew a ton of our money, but always seemed to keep it covered. However, 3 years ago the real nightmare unfolded. I was caught in a lie that unfolded my addiction by my husband. He was devastated. He couldn't believe that the only woman in the world that he felt he could ever trust had done this to him. Things were really bad for a while. He said he was leaving but stayed for the sake of the children. I have gone to GA but he refused to get any counseling . Over the past 3 years , there were many things catching up as far as collection agencies and old bills that I had screwed up. I have tried to pay things back or I should say , clear up some bills with my "weekly allowance" he gives me. I did not tell him I was doing this not to open up a can of worms and not put any more stress on him. It made me feel better in doing this, but in the end, he found a letter from the collection agency and all hell broke lose again. I am well over my addiction and trying to put it past me, raise 4 children , take care of a home , and deal with the constant mood swings I endure when he comes home from work. I'm constantly standing on eggshells. We speak for a week and then something comes up from 3 years ago regarding my addiction, usually a bill, and then don't speak for 2 weeks. I , in my heart know he is only here for the sake of our children. He can be very mean to me, never was he physical. He is truly a good man, my heart breaks and I have a million regrets for doing what I have done, but I can't change it I know. He has said many a times he wishes he could just forget, but every day it comes to mind. I'm at a point where I have no idea what I could do. I love him more than he believes. He took what I have done to him personally. Does anyone have any suggestions. He will not go to counseling. He;s a stubborn italian. Please help me

[mishelly3]

Then you go to counseling you have to do soemthing for yourself. Go get help and they will help you with your husband. An addiction is always live and well living in us as time goes by if we choose not to feed it we for get to feed it and it doesn't become part of our lives any more, but if you feed it just once even a little nibble its wide a waks and ready to go to work on destoying our lives and our familys so id also advise you to find a gambling anonymous classes they will help you so much. I attend aa its life saving... You can't change another person just yourself and when he see;s changes in you he himself might want to make some changes on his own its like you learn from exsample..

Best of luck to you,

Take care
Michelle

[JBeaucaire]

Tell your big strong Italian man how grateful you are that he's staying by your side. Tell him you need him to protect you from the things that would hurt you, you need him and love him.

Then tell him one of the things you need him to protect you from is his own anger. Since you two love each other and need each other, you completely need his protection from his own fretful and moping ways because you can't survive without his continued strength.

He is your rock. Thank him again. Then make him some tiramisu.

[mikedem7]

How about trying to get a job at home or any kind of income to offset the problem. Give it a shot. Let me know what happens.

[talaniman]

You have been given some great suggestions, and I can only add, be patient, as it took a while to get where you were, and will take a while to move ahead. His healing may take longer. Why quit now??