[Depressed in MO]

Well it has been a while since I've posted anything on here. I feel that some of you are angry with me because of one reason or another (basically giving me all this advice and me not taking it). But I'm trying to do what is right now.
I'm ready to leave the person I've always talked about since my beginning of time on here. I have to take care of a few things cautiously before I do so.

One problem. We have an SUV in both of our names, and I would rather he just keep it in his name, so how can I go about changing that?
Any advice is greatly appreciated.

[Wildcat21]

I am glad you are leaving him. YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW THROUGH AND DO THIS. DON'T LISTEN TO HIS LIES - HE WILL START LYING TO YOU.

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh - you should keep the SUV.

This guy has just waLKED ALL OVER YOU - don't let him keep the SUV. Are there payments?? Otherwise you have to change the title through your states - DMV - and if it's finnaced through the finance company.

Please, just get away from this guy.

[Depressed in MO]

I am glad you are leaving him. YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW THROUGH AND DO THIS. DON'T LISTEN TO HIS LIES - HE WILL START LYING TO YOU.

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh - you should keep the SUV.

This guy has just waLKED ALL OVER YOU - don't let him keep the SUV. Are there payments???? otherwise you have to change the title throught your states - DMV - and if it's finnaced through the finance company.

Please, just get away from this guy.

Wildcat-there are payments that have to be made. I'd rather not have to make them or else I would have nothing for the next four years of my life. I don't mind giving up the nicer vehicle and having a "crappier-looking" vehicle (but dependable) just so as I do not have my name on that vehicle.
He has all the paperwork involved in his possession so I don't know how to go about doing it without him knowing. That is a real mess. I'm glad we're not married!
You wouldn't believe what has happened in order to make me leave him, but I am leaving him.
Thank you for accepting me back in here.

[J_9]

I don't know any of the situation, but I want to applaud you in gaining the courage to do what is best for YOU! I know it is hard, I have been in a situation myself where I had to leave. You cannot believe how much better off you are when you leave a bad siutation. Word of caution though, it is easy to get back into a situation with another person, I made that mistake, be careful and look out for #1!!

[s_cianci]

Type an affidavit stating that you wish to have the SUV be strictly in his name and that you surrender any rights pursuant to the same and have it notarized. Is the SUV financed or owned outright? If it's being financed and you co-signed the note it might be hard to get yourself freed from the responsibility that you share for making the payments. Should he stop making payments the lienholder could legally subjugate against you for payment even if you let him have the vehicle all to himself. Contact your lender for advice in this regard.

[talaniman]

Glad to see you back and with a plan of action. As to getting your name removed from this vehicle, as s cianci has said see your lender and/or a lawyer!

[Chery]

Dear Depressed... let's get back to the issue at hand. Trying to do something 'behind his back' will probably make the break worse and produce only unneeded stress. So, try and talk to him about putting the title under his name only and get him to initiate the paperwork. It might be 'uncomfortable' for you, but you've handled the break and all the other steps well so far.. this last problem should be a snap.

As far as we being upset or disappointed in you - NOPE! We don't judge, or cast anyone 'out' of this forum. You are an adult, and take advice or leave it - it's all in the choices you make - and we supply alternative for you to try. That's all.

We do, however, want you to know that we will support you in your choice and will be here for you whenever and for whatever reason.

Lots of luck, and keep us posted.

[Wildcat21]

Chery - one problem... this guy is a thug and jerk. Criminal (seriously - sorry D in Mo) - I know a lot of the back ground do to PM talks.

This guy WILL NOT sign one paper - she HAS to go behind his back.

He tries to control her as it is.

[Wildcat21]

She also needs to ocmpletyely get him out of her life. He eventually will drag her into all his problems - no question.

BUT, they have 3 kids together. She needs money from him, but he, I believe has no reported income... big problem.

[J_9]

Yes, Wildcat, big problem. But one I am sure we can all help her with in one way or another.

As far as money, here in Tennessee we have Family's First, which is a program that helps women in these circumstances, they go after the fathers for the money, even if they have to garnish checks or jail them.

There has to be some program in her area that can help with the money.

[Chery]

Sorry that it's gotten so bad. At any rate, this needs to be resolved legally or she'll wind up paying for the SAV, which will only add to her burdens.

Dear depressed.. remember that we'll be here for you no matter what.

Wish I could give you lots of physical hugs and emotional support - consider it sent..

Boy, this I call Wishful Thinking - it would be nice...

[Wildcat21]

He has no checks... good credit...

[J_9]

Okay, square one! There still have to be programs in her area that can help. Churches, family, something.

[talaniman]

As I remember from your previous post you have two kids by this man. You should definitely be looking into filing for child support for your children's sake, and not sure but if the SUV is in both names you may be able to have it sold to pay off this note if not do not make any payments and it will be repossessed and sold. I really think you have a better hand than you think if you could consult with a legal professional.:cool: ;)

[31pumpkin]

I thought most people had families when they are only 25 yrs. Old??

Are you saying you have no mother, father , sister, brother, grandparent, uncle aunt , no family to take you in at all? Well, you do have to get child support. Find out where he works off the record and still have his wages garnished. The SUV? Probably spilt milk since u say you're a co-signer. Your credit is at stake. Somehow, It doesn't seem like the most important thing.
Get help from family. Then get the $ together.

I think Wildcat is right. The guy doesn't have respect so it's not going to get better.

I'll be praying for you and your kids.

[J_9]

Okay, Depressed, I don't live too darn far from you and maybe they have the same kind of help in your area for single mothers. I am in North West Tenn, I am not sure where you are in MO, but I can get to MO in about 45 minutes.

Here we have a program called Delta Human Resources, they help single mothers pay for daycare. Please check in your area and see if they have the same or a similar program. All you have to do is call yor local Department of Human Services. They will tell you all of the available programs.

[Depressed in MO]

Yes, Wildcat, big problem. But one I am sure we can all help her with in one way or another.

As far as money, here in Tennessee we have Family's First, which is a program that helps women in these circumstances, they go after the fathers for the money, even if they have to garnish checks or jail them.

There has to be some program in her area that can help with the money.

I hate to say this, because of course I love him (even though I'm leaving him-he is the father of my babies and we have a lot of history)-but he is a bad apple and if I leave him, I have to STAY AWAY from him. He will not help me get my name off that truck-he says I can do it if I want-but the steps it would take for me to do so would require his assistance, and without that, it's not going to happen. So, it's not going to happen. (getting my name off that truck)He also says it's helping my credit and I shouldn't do it.
But if something ever happens to him (like jail or worse-god forbid) I would have no idea because like I said-all ties will be cut with him and I won't have a clue as to what happens to that truck. I'm screwed.

[Myth]

Can you file for bankrupty? I know this is an extreame approach but that would make any debt that you've incrued with him up until this point void and it I don't think that they would be able to come after you for the truck... Def get child support your kids need that. That's the only way I can see that your not going to need his help with... I know it's extream and only to be used in a last ditch effort, but it's a just in case thing...

[Depressed in MO]

Okay, Depressed, I don't live too darn far from you and maybe they have the same kind of help in your area for single mothers. I am in North West Tenn, I am not sure where you are in MO, but I can get to MO in about 45 minutes.

Here we have a program called Delta Human Resources, they help single mothers pay for daycare. Please check in your area and see if they have the same or a similar program. All you have to do is call yor local Department of Human Services. They will tell you all of the available programs.

The state government tells me I make too much money. In fact, they have just terminated my medical insurance that I had for the children because they say I make too much money. Believe me, even when I was making only $10.00 an hour they wouldn't help me with daycare or any kind of assistance (other than medical at that time) AND I was pregnant, AND he was in prison.
The governor here in this state has really F'd things up for people like me. I'm a hard worker too, so I pay all those state fees and whatnot.
I'm going to have to chalk it up as a loss as I originally thought and pray that nothing happens to this guy. Another hard lesson learned in life I suppose...

[phillysteakandcheese]

Glad to see you back D. :) And I'm glad to see you do the right thing. :)