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True. I can't help without interacting, but you know that I can help witghout getting involved. That's what I am doing. Only helping like if I was a service. You know, like a servoice you hire. You go, get the service and walk away. Sure, the person interacts, but once they are done, they bid you farewell. That's me. Once I help, I turn around and stay away from anyone who comes close. Can not afford to do anything stupid to someone else's life. |
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Originally Posted by aloneIbreak
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You know, I think that we've gone down this road before. Do you have others in your life that tolerate you feeling so sorry for yourself? I have seen this thread go around in circles, seems to always come back to the same thing with little if no progress being made. I'm not one who's going to feel sorry for you here when I have been the same way that you are right now and it took some people to really shake my tree, so to speak, so that I would wake up to what I needed to do. When I was around your age, I was going through a divorce, drinking very heavily and in deep financial doo-doo. I was bemoaning to my mother at the time about my lousy situation. I will never forget the words that she said to me. "How you deal with it is what determines the kind of man you are". Hearing those words was like a bolt of lightning through me. It caused me to wake up! There were others who said some things to me that also caused me to wake up and take some charge of my own life. You are in charge of you, aloneIbreak. If you aren't then who will be? I have been down the pity-road many times in the past. Occasionally, I still would like to go there. There is some comfort in not taking charge of oneself, being that way, you don't have to really be responsible for your actions - so a person might think, anyway. To me, life is about choices, dealing with the cards I have been dealt and cost and benefit. I don't mean the kind of cost and benefit that has to do with money. It's about making choices based upon what I have to deal with in my life and the weighing the results, good or bad because of the choices that I make and have made. I have also been down the "beat myself up" road too many times to really think about. After awhile, people don't want to listen to me anymore when I'm like that. Life is to live, to try to one's best abilities and roll with the punches when they happen. If you need to be on some medication because of being clinically depressed, then please do go to see a doctor. I've also been down that road. Don't necessarily have to be on the meds forever. But, if a person is clinically depressed, they sure can help the brain to get back to where it needs to be as far as feeling good about oneself. You can turn your scars into stars! The choice is yours! |
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"How you deal with it is what determines the kind of man you are" Thank you for this phrase... It does make a difference you know.. I still have a hard time getting better, But it all makes sense now... It won't change from one day to the other... But this does make a strong point and remark on me... Thank you clough... This is exactly what I was looking for.. The cold hard truth... no bull, no sweet talk.. Things as they are... Thank you |
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You're welcome! I'm glad that it had an impact on you, aloneIbreak! It sure did when my mom told it to me! Even though we might not feel like it, most of the time we just have to "grab the bull by the horns" and take charge of our own lives rather than relying on others to do so. You see, I'm really not all that different than you... Might not seem that way to you, but it's true! Daily, I have to force myself to get motivated. I'm going through some rough stuff in my own life right now, so that is part of the reason for my lack of motivation... However, it's really no excuse for me not to get going! Nobody's going to do it but me! I don't remember if you're religious or not. But, the passage below can really apply to any adult. 1 Corinthians 13:11 New American Standard Bible (©1995)
When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.
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AloneIbreak, sounds like a case of lack of self-love and self-esteem. We can easily get into a mind set of feeling that we are not worthy of time given to us by others, or worthy to have an opinion. The name you say says a lot! It is correct, "Alone, we break!" My personal experience with this is that I lacked self-love but when I realized after receiving Jesus Christ, and reading that I "am accepted in the beloved", it just made everything fall into perspective. I am trying to take this dicussion to the "religion threads". Just sharing my experience so I can let you know that you are not alone in what you are feeling. More people deal with this issue than talk about it. It is great that you opened up here. Don't back down and resign yourself to be OK for us!! Asking about others is a great gift you give but do it out of your love for others. Not because it is just something you do. My belief is that we can only love others to the degree we love ourselves. If you lack self-love, you cannot fully love those around you. It begins a step at a time or in my situation, after three years of seeking an answer through prayer, it came in an instant of time. Each of our situations are different as each of us are unique. Begin by really studying who you are, where and when were you last happy and felt positive? Go to that place in your mind. Relive it and make that a goal, to achieve that again in your life, not that particular moment but moments to begin now and on throughout your life. What are your positive attributes? Are you prompt, do you keep your word, do you hold strong to your convictions of what is right and wrong? Are there some areas in your life that you know are not right for you? If so, make a conscious decision to stop those activities that make you feel less self-respect or negative. Remember to take this all a step at a time. We make our own future in that what we chose determines not failure or winning but joy in our choices. This will sound elementary to you. But for every negative thought that comes into your mind, make yourself write it down and then write three positives after. Soon a new habit is formed and joy begins to spring forth, hope that your life is going in a better direction. All of this is in your hands. Choose well as you awake each morning to do or think positive things and cast down and refuse to accept the negative thoughts that make you feel you are so alone. I don't take lightly your feelings. I have been there or I could not speak on such matters! Keep in touch! |
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