[Questions2007]

I posted a while ago on here about my ex. We broke up some 18 months ago, stayed in touch for a bit, then it wasn't right so I decided on No Contact, that was 14 months ago and I haven't contacted her since and she hasn't contacted me.

I am well and truly not interested in getting back with her, for ages I wanted her back, then I was angry with the way she acted, to be honest now I am ambivalent, I miss the good times we had but know to ever go back would be a disaster.

One of my friends recently went to a wedding, and the person getting married is also friends with my ex. My friend was showing me the photos and to say the pictures of my ex made me take notice is an understatement.

When she was younger, 16 or 17, my ex suffered from anorexia, she got over it and was fine for years. She is now 28. When we were together she was a normal size, and had been for years, she could be described as quite curvy, she looked after herself but was not skinny at all.

In the photo I saw from the wedding my ex looks dangerously thin. I am not even saying she has lost a bit of weight, she has become very very skinny, to the point where she looks odd with it when stood next to other people.

I am concerned she may have lapsed back into problems. It may not even be something I should concern myself with but I would be interested in what people think?

I would also be interested in if people think I should contact her to see if she is OK or if I should steer clear?

[imzz46]

It's perfectly understandble for you to be worried. You shared a relationship with her, you loved her and deep down there is probably always going to be a part of you that cares about her.

It depends how badly things ended between you two as to whether you feel you should contact her. If things were really bad then it might be better for the both of you to stay clear of one another. On the other hand she may really appreciate hearing from you and you may be able to offer some sort of help.

It really depends on whether you think it is a good idea if you bring her back into your life- even just as a friend.

It sounds like she is dangerously ill... and definitely needs help. If you don't think it's best for you personally to help her, maybe you should track down someone else who can?

Best of luck with it all.

[Questions2007]

It's perfectly understandble for you to be worried. You shared a relationship with her, you loved her and deep down there is probably always going to be a part of you that cares about her.

It depends how badly things ended between you two as to whether you feel you should contact her. If things were really bad then it might be better for the both of you to stay clear of one another. On the other hand she may really appreciate hearing from you and you may be able to offer some sort of help.

It really depends on whether you think it is a good idea if you bring her back into your life- even just as a friend.

It sounds like she is dangerously ill ... and definately needs help. If you don't think it's best for you personally to help her, maybe you should track down someone else who can??

Best of luck with it all.

Things ended OK. She ended the relationship and ran the "lets stay friends line". At first I avoided that but then we saw a bit of each other. It became clear that just being friends wouldn't work, mainly from my point of view, as at the time I still wanted to be with her. I initiated no contact and told her I was doing this, she was upset, but agreed it was in both out best interests to try and move on.

I am not sure she is dangerously ill. She looks very thin, but not ill thin, just like she has lost too much weight, and I wanted to make sure she is OK before it perhaps gets out of control which it did when she was younger.

There is also another complicating factor from my point of view, I have started seeing someone recently, and for the first time in ages I have found someone I really like. She may not be too keen on me getting back in touch with the ex!

[talaniman]

Leave this alone, as its not your business, and she may not want you in it. She is a big girl, and will take care of herself.

[JBeaucaire]

She is a big girl, but with this particular disease, she's capable of killing herself, too.

If you're not going to stand at her side for a length of time and confirm this/deal with this yourself, you probably SHOULD express your concerns to someone you KNOW is in her life and can possibly have an effect.

I wouldn't ignore it. No, you can't DO anything about it, but you can point it out to those who possibly can. THEN leave it alone.