[mb031]

So I am 18 and my boyfriend is 21 and we have been together for 2 years now. When we first started dating he was a great boyfriend and I was a great girlfriend. Things were great and we were perfectly happy. We never fought or anything. But lately it seems like we have been fighting more and when I want to have sex he just says if you want to. How am I suppost to take that? He says I have a bad attitude and he wants me to change it but yet he will not change how affectionate he is to me. He says that since I have had a bad attitude that he has just lost emotions towards me. I really try to control my attitude but when he gets mad he shuts me out and does not have anything to do with me. When I cry he won't even comfort me. I am so in love with him and I really want to be with him and I want things to work in our relationship but he wants me to always make the first move and progress in things that I am doing wrong, but he won't take a step towards anything he is doing wrong. He says everything that happens in our relationship is all my fault. I admit I have a bad attitude but its hard to control when he just continues to tell me how bad of a stress I am on him. I feel stuck.

[jrebel7]

I am really sorry that you are feeling so sad and hurt and confused mb. I would be also in your situation but also, I see a lot of red flags. Your post doesn't state if you are living together or just dating. When you live with someone it complicates this sort of situation because it involves so much more if you part. If you are dating and not living together, just try to back off a little. He is giving some pretty clear signs that his is having issues in the relationship. You are trying to fix the relationship. It sounds like he is backing out of the relationship slowly but throwing things at you to confuse the issue so that it appears to be your fault. In a short post, it is diffucult for any of us to get the whole picture. Maybe if you explain a bit more about the "bad attitude" that is mentioned, we, as posters, could get a better view of the issue and could offer better suggestions. You say that he says you have a "bad attitude" and then you say you try to "control your attitude", so if both of you mention it, there must be an underlying cause of the attitude that I am missing here.

Believe me when I say this! You are not stuck! Everyone has choices. I know you love him but to continually be put down by a person, does only harm to one's self-esteem. You have choices, you always have choices. You can choose to stay and ride this out, hoping he changes, you can improve in areas he states he is having problems, and hope that helps, you can stop letting him know how much you love and want him and just try to be more fun like in the beginning or you can remove yourself from his life and move on. Just know you always have choices.

All relationships need a renewal from time to time, sometime that is going back to a time when you did more fun things together, laughed together, played together (not sexually intimate times, just playing), It is easy for all of us to get into a rut. All relationships take work to keep them viable, alive and exciting! If you try some of these things and he is still pushing you away, I would think about obliging him and stepping away. You must preserve some self-respect and not beg for attention from someone not wanting to give it. (I mean no disrespect in saying it this way... when I say don't beg... I don't actually mean that you are but it sort of sounds like you are grasping to hold on and he is pushing away.

No need to make a rush decision. There will be others come along that will have good suggestions. If you feel comfortable though, give us a bit more information so we might give better suggestions to try and help you as you deal with this situation. Best to you!

[strong__dan]

I think you don't need to be treated like that and need to fix it! Maybe you should talk to him and tell him how you feel and listen to how he feels and try and work things out but if that doesn't work maybe you need to move on sorry.

[talaniman]

All good things come to an end. Hope you had fun, but its time to go!

[jojo007]

A relationship is 50/50. That means you have to see attitudes and arguments 50/50. Things like this is just emotions feeding off each other... u put out a negative vibe, you will get one back... if you are contantly putting out positive ones out and not getting it back then there are big issues. You sit him down... no crying, no imaturity... just honesty. Ask him what he wants from this relationship. If he wants you then explain that every argument has 2 sides and in order for your relationship to work... both sides must be seen. When you are happy, he should be happy, when you are sad... he should feel your pain. If he doesn't want to discuss it then I'm afraid he is wasting your love. Write it in a letter if he isn't a very verbal person and ask for one back. Love is a great emotion to give an receive... if his isn't being shown then its time to live your life and eventually you will find that 50/50 relationship that WILL work

[TrueFaith]

This guy sounds like a control freak
Wanting you to make the first move
Making it all your fault that the relationship is bad

Put yourself out of this hurt and let this guy go
You will be so better off for it

It will hurt trust me. But in the end you will be stronger and more ready.

I mean who would want to be with a guy that says.. Oh if you want to. When you ask them for sex
Its like they are doing you a favor!
Please drop him