[xMaverickx]

Ever since I broke up with my girlfriend a year ago I have never been the same. My emotions are always running wild, from anger to just plain old crying at times. I always find myself listening to depressing music and I always feel down. I'm not sure how to explain but I feel like I'm desperate to jump into another relationship, I hate being single and I can't stand it when I see other couples, I'm jealous. I guess you could say I'm very insecure about myself. I don't like feeling this way. What I'm trying to figure out is how do I attract women? If they can sense how I feel, then is that why I keep striking out with every single girl I encounter? How am I supposed to act around them? I have no idea what I'm doing, someone help!!

[nicola89]

You just need to be yourself so that someone wll love you for who you really are. I'm sure the right person will come one day. And don't be in such a rush just have fun. X

[Romefalls19]

Best way to attract women, confidence. They love a confident guy. If you act like they are too good for you and you have low self esteem they will sense it and not be bothered with it

[xMaverickx]

Best way to attract women, confidence. They love a confident guy. If you act like they are too good for you and you have low self esteem they will sense it and not be bothered with it

You I understand that, but how do I do that?

[Romefalls19]

It's all about your "swagger" just know that you can get any girl in the room. If you need to, join a gym. It will make you feel so much better about yourself. I started going hardcore after me and my ex broke up and I got a huge boost of confidence and now am engaged to a terrific woman, and she's really attractive too ha ha

[bigbird213]

The problem is that your "desperate to be in a relationship". That reeks of insecurity, and the problem with insecurity is that women can sense it. As long as your desperate for a relationship, chances are you won't end up in one. Nobody wants to be in a relationship with someone who is desperate for one.

Women want to be in a relationship with a guy who is confident, independent and fun. If your constantly worried about finding the next "one", then you will hardly be fun or independent...

Next time you go out, try not worrying at all about finding someone. Go out with having a good time in mind, and these things just seem to happen... The gym is a good suggestion too... boosts confidence like crazy.

[talaniman]

I hate being single

People who love themselves build a life they enjoy and fill it with friends and activities for themselves. That's what you need to do for yourself.

Then you'll have a positive outlook to share, and will attract more people to you.

You can't expect people to love you, if you don't love yourself do you??

[xMaverickx]

People who love themselves build a life they enjoy and fill it with friends and activities for themselves. Thats what you need to do for yourself.

Then you'll have a positive outlook to share, and will attract more people to you.

You can't expect people to love you, if you don't love yourself do you???

I don't even know if I do love myself, I'm always seeing the glass as half empty and I have no idea how to turn it around. I want to have fun and be independent and be happy but I don't know how to take the first steps towards it.

[xMaverickx]

It's all about your "swagger" just know that you can get any girl in the room. If you need to, join a gym. It will make you feel so much better about yourself. I started going hardcore after me and my ex broke up and I got a huge boost of confidence and now am engaged to a terrific woman, and she's really attractive too ha ha

OK now how do I do that without it seeming like I'm a cocky prick? Lol

[Romefalls19]

It's easy, treat others as you would want to be treated. You wouldn't want someone to treat you like dirt, so don't do it to others.

It's a balance you have to find, but easily found

[bigbird213]

Really it can be a hard battle to fight since your using your head to fight your own head. Its tough, but its not impossible. You need to find things that make you feel better.

Perhaps the place to start is think of what makes you unhappy and work to change that? If you don't like the way you look, hit the gym. If you don't like how you dress, go shopping for new clothes, etc... get my point? (Both are great self-esteem boosters by the way)

[xMaverickx]

Really it can be a hard battle to fight since your using your head to fight your own head. Its tough, but its not impossible. You need to find things that make you feel better.

Perhaps the place to start is think of what makes you unhappy and work to change that? If you don't like the way you look, hit the gym. If you don't like how you dress, go shopping for new clothes, etc... get my point? (Both are great self-esteem boosters by the way)

I like that idea but its not the way I look, by the way I have been going to the gym for 2 straight years lol, it's the way I act. I can't seem to turn it around, I feel as though I am somewhat bi-polar, because my emotions run wild. I can't even focus on simple things it gets so bad. I know I need to build my self-esteem and confidence, but I can't seem to stay on track, if any of this makes any sense. Lol How do I keep going without stopping?

[MsJulia]

I think you need to get over your ex girlfriend before you start another relationship.

[bigbird213]

I like that idea but its not the way I look, by the way I have been going to the gym for 2 straight years lol, its the way I act. I can't seem to turn it around, I feel as though I am somewhat bi-polar, because my emotions run wild. I can't even focus on simple things it gets so bad. I know I need to build my self-esteem and confidence, but I can't seem to stay on track, if any of this makes any sense. lol How do I keep going without stopping?

I'm no expert on this, so take this for what you will, but it is always possible that your just over thinking this and making a problem out of something that isn't a problem... Perhaps it isn't so much changing yourself that you need to do, rather changing the way you view yourself. Perhaps it is the mental conditioning that you are happy with yourself the way you are... If you can't really identify anything in particular that is the reason you don't "like yourself" then perhaps there isn't anything, and its all just your perspective...

Then again, I could be way off base... You could always talk to a doctor/counselor about it...

[qwertpoiuy0]

Why not leave relationships alone for a while and concentrate on yourself? Your desperate to be with sumone and hate being single... well think how you would feel if you did meet sumone,and you felt secure and wanted again,and then it ends?your just back to where you were.I know its hard(iv been through it)but u really do have to build yourself up first before you jump into a relationship,because you have the other persons feelings to consider as well,I don't think many people would like to be with someone who just wants to be with them for the sake of being in a relationship!the most attractive thing about a person is how they see themselves(in my opinion anyway)hang out with friends and try to avoid the depresing music,it doesn't help.just have fun,meet new people and try new things! That will bring up your confidence.trust me it helps!so don't rush into anything,take your time and learn to be yourself again!because at the end of the day that is what women will be attracted to,the real u!so good luck and I hope everything works out for u!

[xMaverickx]

Hmmm that's very interesting bigbird and qwertpoiuy, I will definitely think about what you two said and reflect upon it

[JBeaucaire]

Well:

• The overanalysis about your love life...that's all about you.
• The hating being single USUALLY is also about you and what you need.
• The workouts at the gym, that's all about you.

Everyone is right so far, you need some happy self-confidence, but I say you need something going on in your life worth admiring... that isn't revolving around yourself.

What do you do in a typical week that is solely for the benefit of others? Anything at all? Think about this. If you can engage in a weekly activity for the sole benefit of someone else, your attitude toward yourself will start to change.

Quick Ideas:

1. working a couple days a week at the Boys and Girls Club
2. being a Scout Leader/Assistant
3. a Youth worker at a church or community center
4. serve in the kitchen at a homeless shelter or recovery center
5. Kiwanis Circle K club

If you actually investigate, I am positive you can triple the length of that list with local options of your own.

You want to build self-confidence and feel awesome about yourself and your life, make sure you have one (or more) of these kinds of activities in your weekly life. It is its own reward.

Also, it puts you in contact with some awesome like-minded selfless people.

You hate being single? What you really mean is you hate being alone. So don't be. Be around people who need you and appreciate your help.

[Fredj88]

I'm like you somewhat I'm extremely shy, I don't have it within me to go up to a random female.

[bigbird213]

I'm like you somewhat I'm extremely shy, I don't have it within me to go up to a random female.

Nobody ever said you have to "go up to a random female". If you are a busy, active person, you meet people constantly without putting any work into it. It just happens. Think of where you met your last ex, or your best friend, or any number of your friends... I'm pretty sure you didn't just "go up to them randomly"...

[talaniman]

Had to spread the rep again BB, but that is an excellent insight.

Generally, when you do things you like to do, you meet people you like to do it with.