[g33zer]

I have recently like today... split up from my girlfriend of 3 and a half years. I am 18, I felt like crap, I know people say stuff like that's a bit too long for a young lad to have a relationship (which it is) but when things were as good as the last 3 years as they have been with me then you would never want to lose this 'perfect girl' sadly I have. I felt like crap aswel so I wrote something off the top of my head to try and make me feel better and surprisingly it has worked.
I Just want to know if any of you guys and girls can relate to what I'm saying and how I'm feeling at the moment, times are hard but they can only get better.
This is a really rough version I wrote in about 10 minutes so it hasn't been edited and paragraphed properly, I have ** the swear words but I feel necessary to leave them in because it portrays what I'm feeling at the moment. Hope you guys can relate and enjoy it like I did writing it.

You have no idea what or how I am feeling, this feeling is like your being sick, but nothings coming up leaving your stomach completely empty…. Like the walls in your torso are closing in and the pressure is building. You feel like your going to f****g explode. Its not because your truly love this person… otherwise surely you would be happy for them, knowing that they are moving on to better things… no, you are being self pitying, but you have to be, because you sub consciously drop your esteem to just above 0. You just can't understand what you have done wrong, you probably have or you wouldn’t be in this situation so please learn be your mistakes. You believe you are nothing anymore. Nothing to no one, surely the person that supposedly loves me the most could see through anything and support me but not this time, this time you are down in the dumps and yes you have to deal with it…. The pain seems like it isn’t ever going to disappear. but that its because you use every second of what now seems like your pointless life dwelling on how much she meant to you. Your never going to get over this pain… this is where you have to realise that you are sadly wrong. You can embrace love again, the feeling of shared passion with another (yes another) loved one, it will feel amazing, your esteem will once again rise, but the important lesson to be learnt by the past is not to make the same mistake, you have treat this girl better, you can't f*** up again otherwise you will be sitting in the same shoes a year later. You have to learn by your mistakes and direct yourself otherwise you will be a miserable t**t the rest of your life. You live to learn not learn to live.

Back to the point of the feeling like you have been run over by a bus, you have not, your alive, you will eventually smile and look back at the things that possibly annoyed you about this ex girlfriend… you will have a giggle with yourself about something so ridiculous you look back 10 seconds later and feel a complete pr**k. This feeling is like no other though, it is true love, the pain in your heart doesn’t seem to ever die away, but guaranteed it will, you will love, be happy, courageous and try new things again. And it will be just as good if not better than the first one. It is also guaranteed that you will do the most ridiculous and desperate things thought of to try and win this girl back… we all do but later on in life we look back and think to ourselves, what a p***k I was, and when your thinking about this you will also thank god that you have split up, because now you are able to do something truly awesome, you really were able to have the best life you could have. You believe that you don’t deserve this but lets be honest we all have treated people like s*** in our life so let us learn that it is not nice to be trodden on and broken in half, instead embrace each other and truly love.

Without these ups and downs life isn’t life, we all need to experience these times but be sure to support someone when it is happening, because they truly feel s**t, if we are able to embrace our pain successfully then we can do anything and we can get through everything. You don’t have to do it perfect the first time, that is what life is about, making sure you are able to do it right in the future. Without people learning no one would be anywhere, we would all get bOllocked and everywhere would be war upon war. Thank the heavens that we humans aren’t perfect because then we wouldn’t truly be able to appreciate the good things in life. With everything bad that happens and rest assured there will be plenty comes a good new experience round the corner, its these moments in life that when we are down we can think to ourselves ‘s*** what will the next thing be’
This experience has been hardest to deal with in my life, but my god I know there’s going to be worse, but then I know that the good feelings and vibes I get will come plenty of times and this is what keeps sad b***ards like ourselves going through life.

[Chery]

So this started when you were 15! Wow, this has got to have been the longest teenage relationship in history that I can think of.

And then to come up with what you wrote, honey, you've learned and put it all in a nutshell better than some other and older men with more past relationships have been able to do. You are surely taking your steps forward and dealing with this new experience of rejection very well. Ranting, anger, sell-pity and doubt are all a part of this phase in life and it's great that you can express this to yourself as well as on paper.

I sincerely hope that you can take your talent of comprehension and expression further with you on your path to happiness and harmony. You have a lot to share and I hope that you continue to stay with us and enrich us with your realistic views that there is a future after a fall.

Yes, we humans have to emotionally deal with good times and hard times, and believe me, you are not a poor b*stard, you're an individual rich in common sense, which is more than what many I know never come up with, no matter what stage of maturity or age.

Even with it's poor spelling and punctuation, your post has certainly made me enjoy reading it.

Thank you, and keep on going. I certainly appreciate it.

A great big 'thumbs up' for you dear. And Happy Healing!

[bigbird213]

Whatever it takes to vent, feel better and move on is good medicine...

Angry as it is, sounds very self motivating... nice work.

[starbuck8]

You are right. This likely isn't the first, or the last time you will feel that hurt, but it is meant to teach you, in order to show you how to gain experience on what not to do the next time around.

I know the feeling of that pain in your gut, not being able to sleep or eat, and that dead feeling inside that seems like it will never go away. You cry tears, and wonder how your body could possibly have so many. It can feel very similar to the death of someone close to you. You will go through a range of emotions. It's normal, and you need to let yourself go through it.

One day you will wake up to memories, both good and bad. Don't forget either of them. The memories will help you with your character.

Don't move on too soon. Let yourself hurt and learn. The next woman in your life will thank you for that.

Best of luck to you!

[Guidostern]

Wow... you sure have learned a lot in your short time here... I can tell you that this is very motivating for me. It's been two weeks since my girl and I split... and I can tell you that it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my entire life... even harder than leaving my ex-wife behind...

Make sure that you don't forget about what you have written and shared with us here... it will help you through some of the toughest times of your life. It's good to know that someone as young as you can admit their mistakes... cause I'm 28 and I still have a hard time doing that...

Thanks for sharing with us!

[talaniman]

I can relate to this post as you sound like your living the life I went through at about your age.

The bad news, it hurts as you learn, no way around it, and your absolutely right, this wont be the last time your tested.

It does get better as you learn to cope with the bad stuff, and enjoy the good.

God willing, you will find yourself in your 50's/60's, and bouncing grandkids on your belly-welly, with your soulmate, and look back on these times, with a little emotion for times gone by, and nostalga at the feeling you had then. .

For now you can't see the things you will have to endure, or the experiences, that are ahead of you.

Pay attention to yourself, and your feelings, as you learn about you, and how you deal with your life, and just try to enjoy the journey. Love yourself, so you can share something good with others..

[friend4u178]

Hey G33zer
What an isprirational perspective from someone so young , I wish you all the best luck in getting through this , I know it sucks but you seem to already have the hardest part nailed.

Great Post!!

[g33zer]

Thanks guys for all the support.
Means a lot to me that people think highly of what I've wrote.
It is hard but I find writing about it helps a lot, maybe some of you guys should try it.
Thanks a lot people you all are making me feel a lot better about myself.
:)
Xxx

[starbuck8]

You're welcome to come back and write more anytime you feel like you need to. We do write out our own thoughts, and share them with everyone all of the time. That's what makes this such a great site.

Please disregard the idiotic remark made on post #7, as I'm sure you have. Once in awhile we get a troll, and I'm not exactly sure why it hasn't been removed yet.

Best of luck to you! :)

[jrebel7]

g33zer, you sure have nailed down some fundamental ways of growing from a negative experience and looking on the other side. Please keep us updated on your progress as you grow even further and heal from your hurts. As the others have stated, taking time to heal is important and when this hurt you are experiencing hits you in the face from time to time, (and sadly the emotions just do rise again until they do subside) just post again. Writing is therapeutic.

Greenies to all the above posters (except poster #7)! I tried to "rate this answer" to each but was told I need to spread the love before I can do so again. Wish I could actually post the greenies to you.

Newt could benefit from asking his own question on this site, sharing where all his anger and hate is coming from. Maybe he just wants to see how many reddies he can collect, who knows, but to type such advice, he definitley could learn from g33zer and all of you, something about love, giving and understanding!

You each bless my life and g33zer, to have had these people read your post and reply is such a blessing (minus of course the one post). If you stay with this site, you come to realize how much people care when others hurt.

Best to you as you heal, grow and mature toward the blessings this life has to offer you.