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    frangipanis's Avatar
    frangipanis Posts: 1,027, Reputation: 75
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    #1

    Oct 1, 2008, 07:04 PM
    important medical information (for women)
    Pregnancy, Oestrogen, and Women

    PREGNANCY Q & A & more!

    Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
    A: No, 35 children is enough.

    Q : I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
    A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

    Q : What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
    A: Childbirth.

    Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
    A: So what's your question?

    Q : My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labour, but pressure. Is she right?
    A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

    Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
    A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

    Q : Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labour?
    A: Not unless the word 'alimony' means anything to you.

    Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
    A: Yes, pregnancy.

    Q : Do I have to have a baby shower?
    A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

    Q : Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
    A: When the kids are in college.

    'ESTROGEN ISSUES'

    10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE 'ESTROGEN ISSUES'

    1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
    2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelette.
    3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
    4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
    5. You 're using your mobile phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: 'How's my driving-call 1800-'.
    6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
    7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from 'outer space.'
    9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
    10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

    TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
    10. Cats' facial expressions.
    9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colours.
    8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
    7. Fat clothes.
    6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
    5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
    4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.
    3. Eyelash curlers.
    2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

    AND, the Number One thing only women understand:

    1. OTHER WOMEN ;):)
    friend4u178's Avatar
    friend4u178 Posts: 3,349, Reputation: 1584
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    #2

    Oct 1, 2008, 09:03 PM
    Lol... :)
    frangipanis's Avatar
    frangipanis Posts: 1,027, Reputation: 75
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    #3

    Oct 1, 2008, 10:00 PM

    Hiya... :)
    friend4u178's Avatar
    friend4u178 Posts: 3,349, Reputation: 1584
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    #4

    Oct 1, 2008, 10:27 PM

    Hey FP ;)
    frangipanis's Avatar
    frangipanis Posts: 1,027, Reputation: 75
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    #5

    Oct 1, 2008, 10:43 PM

    Yo! ;)
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
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    #6

    Oct 1, 2008, 10:45 PM

    I loved all of it and great plays on words in the "PREGNANCY Q & A & more!" part!
    justcurious55's Avatar
    justcurious55 Posts: 4,360, Reputation: 790
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    #7

    Oct 2, 2008, 09:52 PM

    Hahaha
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