[cdobben]

I put a PPO on him 2 weeks ago today and last tue. Was my final day in the marital home. I am now staying with family and have started divorce proceedings.

[JBeaucaire]

450donn disagrees: While I think the idea is great, it is also very dangerous. What if she has a gun and shoots you? Oh and it could technically be called stalking!

Donn, you've been a contributor here on the forum long enough to understand the rules. In the relationship forums put your opposing opinions in a separate POST, not a rating. If you need a copy of the rules PM'd to you, I can arrange that.

You know better than that.

[talaniman]

I put a PPO on him 2 weeks ago today and last tue. was my final day in the marital home. I am now staying with family and have started divorce proceedings.

Way to go, follow through and find some happiness for yourself.:)

[Dare81]

Donn, you've been a contributor here on the forum long enough to understand the rules. In the relationship forums put your opposing opinions in a separate POST, not a rating. If you need a copy of the rules PM'd to you, I can arrange that.

You know better than that.

Your advice to the women was to stalk her husband's girlfriend!!

Terms of Service (TOS) and Rules, rev. 12.7.07
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[Chery]

Hi dear,
The other woman might think she has the upper hand, but I bet that he will cheat on her too - and that is something she will always have to have in the back of her mind.. so feel content in that thought.

If you really want to 'convey' something to her, send her a card stating that you wonder how long it will take until he looks around again, since he's gotten into the habit. If she's the jealous type, she'll not have a moment's rest and that will age her real quick. I'm getting a giggle just thinking about her stress.

Hang in there and be strong, we will be here for you 24/7 to help you heal.

[Chery]

Your advice to the women was to stalk her husband's girlfriend!!!

Terms of Service (TOS) and Rules, rev. 12.7.07
While registration to Ask Me Help Desk is free, we do require that you agree to the following Terms of Service ("TOS"), which may be updated by us from time to time without notice to you. The last revised date is shown above, after the title.


5. Do not post any comments that are obscene, vulgar, hateful, threatening, or otherwise violative of any laws.

When a relationship is broken up by another person, some men have the urge to do more than just take pictures... some get drunk and violent towards the 'other' while emotions are at a peak. You obviously have not had that happen to you yet - be thankful.

Human beings don't always stick to 'rules' when emotions take over and we all know that.

We (at least I do, and I've known him a bit longer than you) also know that JB was only trying to help her release some of the pain that the other woman contributed to, as well as that cheating husband.

As a matter of fact, when considering 'crimes of passion' a camera is far less painful than a baseball bat - and many women have thought of that. I did not see any 'constructive advice' from you to the poster, only criticism of another poster - which I think is counter-productive.

[Dare81]

[QUOTE=Chery;1339427]When a relationship is broken up by another person, some men have the urge to do more than just take pictures... some get drunk and violent towards the 'other' while emotions are at a peak. You obviously have not had that happen to you yet - be thankful.

I don't know how you would know that this has not happened to me, but that's not the point .The point was that he was telling her to stalk his husband gf's.Which according me to is not a good idea.

Human beings don't always stick to 'rules' when emotions take over and we all know that.

We (at least I do, and I've known him a bit longer than you) also know that JB was only trying to help her release some of the pain that the other woman contributed to, as well as that cheating husband.


I thought he was being serious.If he was joking around then I am apologize to JB

As a matter of fact, when considering 'crimes of passion' a camera is far less painful than a baseball bat - and many women have thought of that. I did not see any 'constructive advice' from you to the poster, only criticism of another poster - which I think is counter-productive.


My "constructive advice" was telling her that it wasn't a good idea to follow JB's advice by criticizing JB.

If I offended anybody I am sorry again.

[JBeaucaire]

I'm a big boy, I can take it.

[JBeaucaire]

BTW, my suggestion WAS meant to illicit a humorous response from most readers, but I took it from a real-life incident from a very well-balanced friend. About 20 years ago his wife cheated and started to dissolve their marriage. So he did what I described above to great consternation of his wife and her lover.

They still got a divorce, but her lover freaked and split the scene, so she ended up with no lover (initially) and was pretty meek during the divorce. Every time he met with her and her lawyers he had pictures hanging out of his pockets and falling out of file folders... it completely unnerved her and she didn't fight him much on the settlement.

So, I don't go through life expecting nor fearing someone is going to go "baseball bat" crazy just because someone stands up to them. Might it happen? Sure, but it's no more likely than getting hit by a bus.

You can't live that way, and I don't. Chuckle away, I always say.

[Chery]

Dare81;1340642[/b]][

quote=Chery;1339427]When a relationship is broken up by another person, some men have the urge to do more than just take pictures... some get drunk and violent towards the 'other' while emotions are at a peak. You obviously have not had that happen to you yet - be thankful.

I don't know how you would know that this has not happened to me, but that's not the point .The point was that he was telling her to stalk his husband gf's.Which according me to is not a good idea.

Human beings don't always stick to 'rules' when emotions take over and we all know that.

We (at least I do, and I've known him a bit longer than you) also know that JB was only trying to help her release some of the pain that the other woman contributed to, as well as that cheating husband.


I thought he was being serious.If he was joking around then I am apologize to JB

As a matter of fact, when considering 'crimes of passion' a camera is far less painful than a baseball bat - and many women have thought of that. I did not see any 'constructive advice' from you to the poster, only criticism of another poster - which I think is counter-productive.


My "constructive advice" was telling her that it wasn't a good idea to follow JB's advice by criticizing JB.

If I offended anybody I am sorry again.

That's cool.
I have read some of your posts and know you too have issues. Just don't be too quick to criticize unless you consider the source to be a troll. And take my word for it, JB is not one of them, dear.

[cync12]

I'm curious if you had any resolve in this. I have a similar situation, except the "girlfriend" is a girl he went to high school 25 years ago, they met up on Facebook and have "connected". Now there's secret phone calls, secret email accounts and I just found a calling card ID and pin (which I shredded), so he could call her from payphones etc and not get caught. I know he hasn't done anything with her since we're 500 miles away, but it's still emotional cheating and I'm at a standstill. He refuses counciling because he will just tell them what they want to hear. Anything you've found helpful would be greatly appreciated.

[cdobben]

We have separated and I have filed for divorce, which will be final at the end of next month. He claims that it was just an emotional affair... and I told him that was the same thing... he betrayed me and our marriage. He is trying to be the man that I fell in love with, but I still have problems with "her". We are talking but not living togeather. I am confused about a lot of things right now and the main is going through with the divorce. I never wanted a divorce but when he left and moved in with the woman it was the last straw. He has since moved out of her house and is staying with his sister, but that is only 2 blocks away from her house, and I work a lot of hours and we are not living togeather so I am still not convinced we are on the same page. I wish you luck, but I do know if you push to hard he will leave and go see her... the old addage comes to mind... The grass is always greener on the other side...

[DoulaLC]

We have seperated and I have filed for divorce, which will be final at the end of next month. He claims that it was just an emotional affair.... and I told him that was the same thing...he betrayed me and our marriage. He is trying to be the man that I fell in love with, but I still have problems with "her". We are talking but not living togeather. I am confused about alot of things right now and the main is going thru with the divorce. I never wanted a divorce but when he left and moved in with the woman it was the last straw. He has since moved out of her house and is staying with his sister, but that is only 2 blocks away from her house, and I work alot of hours and we are not living togeather so I am still not convinced we are on the same page. I wish you luck, but I do know if you push to hard he will leave and go see her......the old addage comes to mind.....The grass is always greener on the other side......

Ah yes... the grass is always greener... until you eventually realize that you will have to mow it too!

I wish you well... much strength and peace...

[cync12]

We have seperated and I have filed for divorce, which will be final at the end of next month. He claims that it was just an emotional affair.... and I told him that was the same thing...he betrayed me and our marriage. He is trying to be the man that I fell in love with, but I still have problems with "her". We are talking but not living togeather. I am confused about alot of things right now and the main is going thru with the divorce. I never wanted a divorce but when he left and moved in with the woman it was the last straw. He has since moved out of her house and is staying with his sister, but that is only 2 blocks away from her house, and I work alot of hours and we are not living togeather so I am still not convinced we are on the same page. I wish you luck, but I do know if you push to hard he will leave and go see her......the old addage comes to mind.....The grass is always greener on the other side......

Yeah, and you made the bed now sleep in it, but it will always come back to me being too nosey. I just don't know how I will ever be able to trust him again. Thanks for your input and good luck to you.