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    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #1

    Sep 27, 2008, 07:50 PM
    And Then The Fight Started
    And then the fight started


    My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She
    asked, What's on TV?

    I said, Dust.

    And then the fight started...

    ==========

    My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
    She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3
    Seconds."

    I bought her a scale.

    And then the fight started...

    =========

    When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
    expensive... So, I took her to a gas station...

    And then the fight started...

    =========

    After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social
    Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license
    to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet
    at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go
    home and Come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened
    my shirt revealing My curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on
    your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security
    application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my
    experience at the Social Security office.

    She said, 'you should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
    Disability, too.'

    And then the fight started...

    =========

    My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
    kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a
    nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old
    girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up
    many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since

    .''My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on Celebrating that long?'

    And then the fight started...

    =========

    I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road
    And slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you
    just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I
    couldn't believe it... He was a DWARF!! He stormed over to my car,
    looked up at me, and shouted, ' I AM NOT HAPPY! '

    So, I looked down at him
    and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

    And then the fight started...
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
    Pets Expert
     
    #2

    Sep 27, 2008, 07:56 PM
    ROTFLMAO, oh my, that's hilarious. :)
    twinkiedooter's Avatar
    twinkiedooter Posts: 12,172, Reputation: 1054
    Uber Member
     
    #3

    Sep 27, 2008, 07:59 PM

    I've read them before too, but I still like to chuckle on them again. Laughter is good for the soul and good exercise as well as it is a great tension reliever. I got my daily dose of tension reliever - Thanks HomeGirl!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #4

    Sep 27, 2008, 09:31 PM

    I needed that.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
    Pets Expert
     
    #5

    Sep 27, 2008, 09:36 PM

    Aw, Tal, do you need a hug? :)
    jrsg's Avatar
    jrsg Posts: 560, Reputation: 67
    Senior Member
     
    #6

    Sep 27, 2008, 11:18 PM

    Lol, I love the first two.

    These were all great!
    Thanks Homegirl
    friend4u178's Avatar
    friend4u178 Posts: 3,349, Reputation: 1584
    Ultra Member
     
    #7

    Sep 28, 2008, 07:49 PM

    LMAO... loved those :)

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