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    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #1

    Sep 27, 2008, 06:32 PM
    To know or not to know?
    Today I had a few of my friends over at my house just to hang out. One of my friend confess that she broke up with her boyfriend this week due to his cheating ways. She wasn't really torn about the break-up but was more upset that she found about him cheating. She stated she referred not to have known and as long as he didn't do it in the neighborhood it was okay because she wouldn't have been hurt but once she knew about it she couldn't stay. I found that statement weird.

    I stated if someone was cheating of me, no matter where the cheating took place, I would want to know about it. Now if I decide to stay it will be on me but if a cheater cheat and don't confess it is taking away my choice to stay or not. I don't want to be with a cheater because that proves they can't be trusted and I want someone I can trust. 2 out of 3 of my friends agreed but 1 didn't so we all agreed to diagree.

    Later on it got me thinking how others felt. Would you want to know you was being cheated on or not?

    Thanks for sharing,
    Liz
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Sep 27, 2008, 08:43 PM

    To some ignorance is bliss, because reality is a betch!
    mommyv's Avatar
    mommyv Posts: 55, Reputation: 4
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    #3

    Sep 27, 2008, 10:44 PM

    Yeah I'd want to know- I always felt like such a fool when guys cheated on me in high school- I'd feel like a bigger idiot the longer I didn't know, and I enjoy trust in a relationship- much less drama!
    cantbelieveit's Avatar
    cantbelieveit Posts: 72, Reputation: 3
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    #4

    Sep 28, 2008, 01:04 AM

    I found out and I wish I didn't find out ALL the details. I wish I didn't have to deal with what comes after learning about the cheating. Feeling betrayed by someone you trusted is not fun. I can sort of see why you wouldn't want to know just because it's easier to not know but you just end up looking like a fool.
    calgirl's Avatar
    calgirl Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Sep 28, 2008, 02:20 AM

    No matter how much it would hurt I would want to know so I wouldn't have to be the stupid one for letting it go on. But, first of all it would give me the opportunity to move on and get over someone who in the first place didn't have the desire to be with me only.
    chuff's Avatar
    chuff Posts: 3,397, Reputation: 1235
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    #6

    Sep 28, 2008, 05:44 AM

    You know I read something entirely different from that OP. Your friend places more importance on what other people think about her then she does about her own self respect. The reason she didn't care about her boyfriend cheating in another neihborhood was because then her friends wouldn't find out and she wouldn't look foolish. But if he did it somewhere else and she knew then at least her friends wouldn't know and it would appear that she's in a great relationship which is the appearance she wants to put out there. So for her it's not getting hurt by cheating that matters but being perceived as not being able to maintain her relationship that hurts her.
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #7

    Sep 28, 2008, 04:39 PM

    I thought the same thing Chuff. After everyone left, I wonder when and if she was going tell us that they even broke-up.

    I just couldn't believe she really felt that way about having your partner cheat on you. I just feel that I would want to know and I told my friends if anyone see ever see my future husband doing something let me know asap because we all have cellphones.
    friend4u178's Avatar
    friend4u178 Posts: 3,349, Reputation: 1584
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    #8

    Sep 28, 2008, 08:11 PM

    I would definitely want to know and there is no way I would hang around with a cheating so and so. Imagine how much more humiliating it would be if your friends knew and you didn't till later.

    Just my view.

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