[Stacy48060]

My fiancée is now 23 years old. When he was 15 years old his girlfriend at the time gave birth to his son. He told her he wanted to be in the baby's life but not hers. She threatened that if he didn't stay with her she would never see his son. My fiancee's legal guardian at the time was his grandma who begged the girl's family to not put Chris's name on the birth certificate thinking of his future and well being I suppose. Well they did not put him on there. Last he heard she had moved to Florida and such. Recently we found out that her Aunt adopted little Krystofer and has had him since he was 3 months old. Chris and I finally located the birth mother and asked her to contact the Aunt so he could meet his son. He was a minor at the time of his birth and the adoption and he knew nothing about it. Now that he is 23 , has a steady job and a steady relationship, he really wants to try to be in his son's life. But the Aunt and the mom say NO. Chris was a minor at the time of the child's birth and adoption. Now that he is over 18 does he not have the right to see his son? He was never issued court papers and never signed off on him. This is very serious for us and heart breaking.

Many fathers and mothers neglect their children or just run off. Here is a man who had a baby at 15 and the mother has him adopted to a family member of hers all before he is even old enough to make his own decision. What kind of rights does he have as the biological father? I was hoping she would be happy Chris wants to be a part of his life but I think she is scared really. But we now are going to have to go through legal proceedings I suppose. Please give me any kind of advice you can.

[JudyKayTee]

My fiancee is now 23 years old. When he was 15 years old his girlfriend at the time gave birth to his son. He told her he wanted to be in the baby's life but not hers. She threatened that if he didn't stay with her she would never see his son. My fiancee's legal guardian at the time was his grandma who begged the girl's family to not put Chris's name on the birth certificate thinking of his future and well being i suppose. Well they did not put him on there. Last he heard she had moved to Florida and such. Recently we found out that her Aunt adopted little Krystofer and has had him since he was 3 months old. Chris and i finally located the birth mother and asked her to contact the Aunt so he could meet his son. He was a minor at the time of his birth and the adoption and he knew nothing about it. Now that he is 23 , has a steady job and a steady relationship, he really wants to try to be in his son's life. But the Aunt and the mom say NO. Chris was a minor at the time of the child's birth and adoption. Now that he is over 18 does he not have the right to see his son? He was never issued court papers and never signed off on him. This is very serious for us and heart breaking.

Many fathers and mothers neglect their children or just run off. Here is a man who had a baby at 15 and the mother has him adopted to a family member of hers all before he is even old enough to make his own decision. What kind of rights does he have as the biological father? I was hoping she would be happy Chris wants to be a part of his life but i think she is scared really. But we now are going to have to go through legal proceedings i suppose. Please give me any kind of advice you can.

He can't do this without an Attorney but he (and I mean his Attorney) would have to try to overturn the adoption for fraud or other reason (on the part of the mother) OR go to Court and request visitation. Did he ever pay support for the child? What has gone on between age 15 (when the child was born) and age 23 (now). Has he made attempts to see the child?

I am torn on this subject - the adoptive parents may have no idea that there is a problem, what the true story is, and they love this child and don't want to lose him/her - but the father does have rights. Are you positive that the child was adopted and the mother didn't simply give custody to someone?

The Attorney would have to search the Court records.

He wouldn't "sign off" for the child. He would have been asked to relinquish his rights.

It is also possible he was served by publication - if no one could find him (which I rather doubt).

[liz28]

Stacey, I guess she allowed the aunt to adopted their child because of her age at the time. I don't understand how he was put on the birth certificate without him signing it himself because when gave birth they wouldn't allow my daughter dad to sign it because he didn't have I.D. on him. He had to go back home and get it and the nurse explained to us they require all dad's that sign the because to have state ID to make sure they're who they say they're to reduce fraud.

I guess it works out in his advantage since his name is on it. Luckily the aunt adopted the child then a stranger so he don't have to go looking for the adopted parents. Make him contact a lawyer asap and I hope everything work out. Good Luck! By the way, what state are you in?

[JudyKayTee]

Stacey, I guess she allowed the aunt to adopted their child because of her age at the time. I don't understand how he was put on the birth certificate without him signing it himself because when gave birth they wouldn't allow my daughter dad to sign it because he didn't have I.D. on him. He had to go back home and get it and the nurse explained to us they require all dad's that sign the bc to have state ID to make sure they're who they say they're to reduce fraud.

I guess it works out in his advantage since his name is on it. Luckily the aunt adopted the child then a stranger so he don't have to go looking for the adopted parents. Make him contact a lawyer asap and I hope everything work out. Good Luck! By the way, what state are you in?

The OP's fiancé is not on the birth certificate: "My fiancee's legal guardian at the time was his grandma who begged the girl's family to not put Chris's name on the birth certificate thinking of his future and well being I suppose. Well they did not put him on there."

[Stacy48060]

Stacey, I guess she allowed the aunt to adopted their child because of her age at the time. I don't understand how he was put on the birth certificate without him signing it himself because when gave birth they wouldn't allow my daughter dad to sign it because he didn't have I.D. on him. He had to go back home and get it and the nurse explained to us they require all dad's that sign the bc to have state ID to make sure they're who they say they're to reduce fraud.

I guess it works out in his advantage since his name is on it. Luckily the aunt adopted the child then a stranger so he don't have to go looking for the adopted parents. Make him contact a lawyer asap and I hope everything work out. Good Luck! By the way, what state are you in?

I am sorry if I stated he was on the b.c. His grandmother asked her parents to not put Chris's name on it because she was worried about his future and such. I am sure she meant well she still bay's him to this day. We don't even want her knowing about our present intentions. But you're right, we are glad that her Aunt adopted him and we were hoping she wouldn't have a problem with Chris meeting his son. His son knows they are not his parents and his mother comes up to see him a couple times a year. She lives in Florida and has 4 more children! We live in Michigan at the moment and his son lives in Indiana :(

To the person who asked what has he been doing for the past 7 years, he has been finishing high school,went to college,has had 2 long relationships end horribly, he met me, moved to Michigan has a good job. We are getting married next year and we plan on moving to Indiana eventually. For the first time in his life he is in a wonderful relationship,has a good job and his life all together. He was told from mutual friends of his and his son's mother that she moved away to Florida. Not until recently did we find out that the Aunt adopted him. This is very very hard on us right now. We had respect for the Aunt for taking him in and giving him a lovable home. We had no intention of taking him away from the people who raised him his whole life. Chris and I want to be allowed visitation. But the Aunt says no. If we are going to have to spend tons of money,time and stress all because she won't allow him to meet him, than we are going for custody.

[liz28]

No Stacy it was my error about the because. It's great that he wants to be in his son life and I wish he could. Some people would have kept going and not look back so it great that he look back. Also, it is good that you are supporting him in this decision because he is going need it.

Hopefully, he is granted visitation but know it will be hard on the child too and some getting use too because the child don't know him. I wish the aunt wasn't so stubborn but at least your know what you got to do.

Contact a lawyer asap so your can at least get the ball rolling and at least your will do what to do. I do wish you're the best of luck.

[JudyKayTee]

I am sorry if i stated he was on the b.c. His grandmother asked her parents to not put Chris's name on it because she was worried about his future and such. I am sure she meant well she still bay's him to this day. We don't even want her knowing about our present intentions. But you're right, we are glad that her Aunt adopted him and we were hoping she wouldn't have a problem with Chris meeting his son. His son knows they are not his parents and his mother comes up to see him a couple times a year. She lives in Florida and has 4 more children! We live in Michigan at the moment and his son lives in Indiana :(

To the person who asked what has he been doing for the past 7 years, he has been finishing high school,went to college,has had 2 long relationships end horribly, he met me, moved to Michigan has a good job. We are getting married next year and we plan on moving to Indiana eventually. For the first time in his life he is in a wonderful relationship,has a good job and his life all together. He was told from mutual friends of his and his son's mother that she moved away to Florida. Not until recently did we find out that the Aunt adopted him. This is very very hard on us right now. We had respect for the Aunt for taking him in and giving him a lovable home. We had no intention of taking him away from the people who raised him his whole life. Chris and i want to be allowed visitation. But the Aunt says no. If we are going to have to spend tons of money,time and stress all because she won't allow him to meet him, than we are going for custody.

Has he attempted to contact the child over the 7 years or paid support? Those are questions he will be asked in any type of Court proceeding.

As I said - you will have to determine if, in fact, there was an adoption and what the mother said about paternity, if she claimed she didn't know, if there was an attempt to serve him. He will also need DNA testing if the Court will open the adoption.

I do not see him getting full custody of this child - visitatation probably, joint custody possibly but I do not see sole custody, not if he is in a stable home and happy. I can't picture the Court taking him from his "home" and placing him with a father who is, in fact, a stranger to him.

You will not be allowed visitation as such - you have no legal standing here.

[Stacy48060]

Has he attempted to contact the child over the 7 years or paid support? Those are questions he will be asked in any type of Court proceeding.

As I said - you will have to determine if, in fact, there was an adoption and what the mother said about paternity, if she claimed she didn't know, if there was an attempt to serve him. He will also need DNA testing if the Court will open the adoption.

I do not see him getting full custody of this child - visitatation probably, joint custody possibly but I do not see sole custody, not if he is in a stable home and happy. I can't picture the Court taking him from his "home" and placing him with a father who is, in fact, a stranger to him.

You will not be allowed visitation as such - you have no legal standing here.

All he knew was she lived in Fla and wanted nothing to do with him. He knew from his grandma that he wasn't even on the birth certificate. No he hasn't paid for support because he isn't on the b.c and his Aunt never filed for it. He knows once this gets rolling, that the courts may want him to pay support. He has no problem with that. Shouldn't his mother have to pay too? His son was adopted at 3 months old (what she tells me anyways). Yes his father is a stranger to him. That's why we asked to meet Krystofer. To get a relationship started. So you are saying that you don't think the courts will allow Chris to see his son? Even after he proves paternity?

[seahippie]

In the long run its all about the young boy... he would surely love to meet his dad... maybe not yet but soon when he's a little older. It would be very sad if the Aunt would deny her nephew the right to see his dad.
I hope it all works out for you!

[liz28]

Since the child resides in Indiana, he will have to go courts there. When the mom allow the aunt to adopt
Krystofer, she terminated her rights to him and wasn't responsible for child support.

Hopefully, the judge grant him visitation and don't be surprise if it's supervise at first.

[zawatska]

I think Judy meant that You as in Chris's fiancé has no legal rights. I may be wrong, but that's what it sounds like to me. Its your business because you will soon be a step mother, but in the courts eyes its really none of your business. Its chris, krystopher and the mother.

[Stacy48060]

I think Judy meant that You as in Chris's fiance has no legal rights. I may be wrong, but that's what it sounds like to me. Its your business because you will soon be a step mother, but in the courts eyes its really none of your business. Its chris, krystopher and the mother.

OH I know that. But it's none of the mother's business either as she put the baby up for adoption and terminated her parental rights.

[zawatska]

I'm not sure how the court will look at her, but you don't know if the mother really terminated her rights, or if she just gave the child to the Aunt until she got older or smarter or whatever.

[Synnen]

You need to know what was said about paternity at the time of adoption, and you need to know whether there was an attempt to contact him to relinquish his parental rights.

If she LIED, he has a legal leg to stand on--but it's going to be a very off-balance legal leg, because it's been EIGHT YEARS since he last attempted contact with the child.

Sorry--you don't get to take the time to grow up and get in a good place and be happy and finish college and THEN try to talk to your child. If you don't put the child first from the get-go, you lose a LOT of your standing.

Maybe start smaller---try for pictures and letters from the adoptive family every six months for several years before demanding a visitation. Really, the other side of that is that someone should have demanded that he step up to the plate and take responsibility for his child 8 years ago.

I have a feeling that the birthmom did everything the way she was supposed to in this, and that he was publicly served with a newspaper ad. The fact that he's waited until NOW to try to establish any sort of relationship with his child frankly looks terrible to me.

I placed my daughter for adoption 17 years ago. It's an open adoption, and I get letters and pictures and such. By mutual agreement, there is no visitation involved. The birthfather basically walked out of ALL of our lives after she was born, and never really looked back. He contacted ME when she was 10, wanting to see pictures and asking for the adoptive parents' address and such. I was appalled that he had waited 7 years to even bother trying to find out about his child, and refused to give him any information. So... from the point of view of the birthmom and the adoptive mom--he's being a jerk for waiting 8 years and then demanding everything.

[reenee95]

My fiancee is now 23 years old. When he was 15 years old his girlfriend at the time gave birth to his son. He told her he wanted to be in the baby's life but not hers. She threatened that if he didn't stay with her she would never see his son. My fiancee's legal guardian at the time was his grandma who begged the girl's family to not put Chris's name on the birth certificate thinking of his future and well being i suppose. Well they did not put him on there. Last he heard she had moved to Florida and such. Recently we found out that her Aunt adopted little Krystofer and has had him since he was 3 months old. Chris and i finally located the birth mother and asked her to contact the Aunt so he could meet his son. He was a minor at the time of his birth and the adoption and he knew nothing about it. Now that he is 23 , has a steady job and a steady relationship, he really wants to try to be in his son's life. But the Aunt and the mom say NO. Chris was a minor at the time of the child's birth and adoption. Now that he is over 18 does he not have the right to see his son? He was never issued court papers and never signed off on him. This is very serious for us and heart breaking.

Many fathers and mothers neglect their children or just run off. Here is a man who had a baby at 15 and the mother has him adopted to a family member of hers all before he is even old enough to make his own decision. What kind of rights does he have as the biological father? I was hoping she would be happy Chris wants to be a part of his life but i think she is scared really. But we now are going to have to go through legal proceedings i suppose. Please give me any kind of advice you can.

I think you guys should get a dna test !

[ScottGem]

Bottomline here is he needs to consult an attorney.

The attorney willgo through the following steps:

1) determine whether the aunt adopted the child or just was given guardianship
2) if it was an adoption, what was done to contact your fiancée to relinquish his rights

Once those things are determined, the attorney will file to establish paternity if that's appropriate. Once paternity has been established, he will then proceed to allow your fiancée to establish a relationship with his son.

I agree that he should not aim high here. I would go only for contact and occasional visitation. Anything else is likely to be denied because of the amount of time that has gone by.

[Stacy48060]

I think this is the best answer so far. It was strictly unbiased.

[GV70]

My observations:
The American Adoption Law moved out of its past requirements;after Baby Richard and Baby Jessica cases/
Now in a lot of states the putative father DOES NOT have rights in any adoption proceeding if he is not registered in s.c. Putative Father Registries.Another conception is 'Doctrine of waiver"-if the biofather does not play accordingly/for example he has waited eight years after child's birth knowing he was the father/ he will not be able to overturn that adoption.

[GV70]

FLORIDA STATUTES
63.062 Persons required to consent to adoption.--

(1) Unless consent is excused by the court, a petition to adopt a minor may be granted only if written consent has been executed after the birth of the minor by:

(a) The mother of the minor.

(b) The father of the minor, if:

1. The minor was conceived or born while the father was married to the mother.

2. The minor is his child by adoption.

3. The minor has been established by court proceeding to be his child.

4. He has acknowledged in writing, signed in the presence of a competent witness, that he is the father of the minor and has filed such acknowledgment with the Office of Vital Statistics of the Department of Health.

5. He has provided the child with support in a repetitive, customary manner.

[GV70]

According to Fl adoption law,if the father was not married to the mother,he is not established as a father by Court,he has never acknowledged his paternity and he has not provided child support voluntary-the father IS NOT entitled to be notified for adoption proceeding.

63.072 Persons whose consent to an adoption may be waived.--The court may excuse the consent of the following individuals to an adoption:

(1) A parent who has deserted a child without affording means of identification or who has abandoned a child;