[annduwve]

I have been thinking about this for the past two years, hoping to never be rash about such a serious decision. After a long and painful thought process I have decided to go ahead with finding out who my biological father is. I'm not sure how interested I am in meeting him but I do feel that there is a need to know for the future.

I don't know that much about him. I've asked people in my family but my mom covered EVERYTHING up (including her pregnancy). When I finally addressed the situation with my mother about my decision, she seemed shocked but less supportive than ever. I'm sure I've hurt her by coming to this decision but I feel it's validated. I have every right to know who my father is. I know that he has seen me. When my mom and my father went to court over custody for me, they had to do a preliminary blood test just to make sure he was my father. From all the information I have gathered, I was walking when this happened.

I remember being younger and cleaning out my grandmother's basement and being given a blue bag to give to my mom full of paperwork. I was a snoopy little kid and I remember seeing court documents. The name "Rowdy Cupp" stands out in HUGE letters in my mind. I've done a search but I can only find one person in my area. About 10 years ago, my mom said he promised to always stay in the area. All signs and thoughts point me to this man, who coincidentally works right across the street from where I work. I want to do more research but I don't want to pay for any of it. I'm a working college student and like I said, as of now, I have no intentions of meeting this man.

Any ideas?

[SweetDee]

Oh I think you do have intentions of meeting this man, and it's OKAY...

I can't imagine how you must be feeling, all I can do is say that of COURSE you're curious.

I had a boyfriend who was adopted and we did everything to find his biological parents. When he did it was bitter sweet. The reunion was nice and teary eyed... but in the end his bio parents were a big disappointment.

I encourage you to follow your heart... but I also would hope that you try and keep as logical as you can... Good luck..

[annduwve]

Oh I think you do have intentions of meeting this man, and it's OKAY...

I can't imagine how you must be feeling, all I can do is say that of COURSE you're curious.

I had a bf who was adopted and we did everything to find his biological parents. When he did it was bitter sweet. The reunion was nice and teary eyed...but in the end his bio parents were a big disappointment.

I encourage you to follow your heart...but I also would hope that you try and keep as logical as you can... Good luck..

I really don't know how I feel about meeting him. I know that I'm a strong enough person to know that if he is not interested in meeting me that I can move forward with my life. I have lived my life for this long without him, I can continue doing just that. But I also know that just knowing one way or the other will help me in the future.

I decided to do a search of the name that stood out in my mind from my childhood (which I believe to be my father's name) and the search came up with a man who owns a bar across the street from my employment... it was rather creepy.

It caused more anxiety than I was hoping but it conjured a lot of emotions I wasn't planning on feeling. I know he has a very peculiar name and he's the only one in my area. When I was younger, my mother always said that he promised to stay in the area if something was ever needed from him...

So I guess I'm onto my next stage of development, do I want to physically meet him or do I want to ignore it all and just know that that name is standing out in my mind for a real reason and that he's just minutes away from me on any given day?

[SweetDee]

"So I guess I'm onto my next stage of development, do I want to physically meet him or do I want to ignore it all and just know that that name is standing out in my mind for a real reason and that he's just minutes away from me on any given day?"

Annduwve, I remember the agony my exboyfriend went thru' and it's looking very similar to yours. All the questions running in his head and all the fear of rejection, not to mention that he was fearful as well if the reaction was positive and what that meant.

All I know is that you have to be true to yourself. This is about YOU... so do good for yourself. Go and find out if he's your father... You really want to deep down... you won't break if it turns out that this guy is not.

If it's comforting to think that the possibility of this "name" is HIM and he's right across the street all the time... you OWE it to yourself to confirm.

Stand strong and behind yourself... and put one foot in front of the other and TRUST that you can handle it... no matter what the outcome.

The grip of fear was lessened in the experience my ex went thru' once he put trust in himself and his capability of knowing that he'll still be okay no matter the result... out of his OWN choice. It was like he made a final decision just before he plunged into meeting his parents and the decision was, "I'm still me and I've always been fine with or without them"... He lived by that.

He is doing very well now STILL... w/ two girls of his own and a happy marriage...