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    DJ 'H''s Avatar
    DJ 'H' Posts: 1,109, Reputation: 114
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    #1

    May 19, 2006, 04:23 AM
    What to do...
    OK so the time has come - my Mum & Step Dad have now spoken about the house. My step Dad has agreed to let my Mum keep the house (as I knew he would) however it means we have to take over the payments on the Mortgage.

    My mum cannot afford to do this and so has asked my older brother and I to pay £350 each per month to allow us to keep living there. She says that when Either my lder borther or I or both move out the house will have be sold and as a result she will give both my older brother and I a lump sum for all the money we put int the house.

    My friend Kelly has just moved into a 2 bedroomed house and asked me to move in and be her house mate.

    Bear in Mind I am 22yrs old!

    Kelly and I have known each other since the age of 3yrs and would live to get perfectly. The house is just outside my home town in a small villiage and with rent and bills I can probably just and just afford it. Probably paying only a little more than £350 per month.

    My dialemma...

    If I agree to pay my mum £350 toward the house, my older brother, myself, my younger brother and my mum get to carry on living as we are. However my older brother and I will still not claim any rights to the house even though we will be paying the bigger shares each month.

    If I move in with Kelly, my mum has to sell the house, rehouse her and my little brother and my older brother will have to find himself his own place because he is not a dependent. My older brother is 23yrs and m,y younger brother is 9yrs.

    what do you think?
    Krs's Avatar
    Krs Posts: 2,906, Reputation: 320
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    #2

    May 19, 2006, 04:33 AM
    Ask yourself :-

    What do you prefer :-
    1. the comodity of still carry on living at your mums, paying her LM350 and get nothing out of it at the end?
    OR
    2. Move in with your mate Kelly? Which then means you get a lump sum of money!
    DJ 'H''s Avatar
    DJ 'H' Posts: 1,109, Reputation: 114
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    #3

    May 19, 2006, 04:34 AM
    I only get the lump sum of money if I carry on living at home for a while and pay my mum £350 per month!
    DJ 'H''s Avatar
    DJ 'H' Posts: 1,109, Reputation: 114
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    #4

    May 19, 2006, 04:35 AM
    Also I feel in some way guilty - My boyfriend & friends keep telling me I have to put myself first - but it's hard - they are family! I would not like to see them on their own and struggling!
    Krs's Avatar
    Krs Posts: 2,906, Reputation: 320
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    #5

    May 19, 2006, 04:37 AM
    MMM it is tricky!
    Family are family and I totally understand that!

    How long would you have to live at your mums for?
    DJ 'H''s Avatar
    DJ 'H' Posts: 1,109, Reputation: 114
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    #6

    May 19, 2006, 04:41 AM
    ?? Pass - my boyfriend says by staying at home we are only prolonging the ineviatble (which is true).

    My older brother has agreed - where as I have not made a decision. If I don't agree the house has to be sold. Either way my Mum cannot afford the house on her own.
    Krs's Avatar
    Krs Posts: 2,906, Reputation: 320
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    #7

    May 19, 2006, 04:51 AM
    Do u want to move out?
    And start to live alone or with your mate kelly?

    I perosonally would want to experience living alone.
    DJ 'H''s Avatar
    DJ 'H' Posts: 1,109, Reputation: 114
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    #8

    May 19, 2006, 04:56 AM
    Well that's the thing I am 22yrs old and moving out has been on my mind for a while - I was just not planning to do so for another few months or so. I wanted to start my new job and get settled there first and save a bit of dosh to buy furniture etc.

    Now I am faced with decision making now! - If moving out is the right choice I have have to act fast. Kelly won't wait for long - she needs someone living with her as she cannot afford it on her own - so if I don't move in someone else will. But I need to be 100% sure - if I move out and it goes wrong there is no going back. My family home will be sold and so I will have no where to go.

    It's deciding whether to take the risk or not?
    DJ 'H''s Avatar
    DJ 'H' Posts: 1,109, Reputation: 114
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    #9

    May 19, 2006, 04:57 AM
    And also do I put my Mum or myself first in this situation? That's what I cannot figure out!

    Iam so exhausted from trying to find a solution - either way someone loses out!
    Krs's Avatar
    Krs Posts: 2,906, Reputation: 320
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    #10

    May 19, 2006, 04:59 AM
    But either way your mum will still have a house, whether it's the one she lives in currently or a new one! And besides she won't be alone she has your little bro?
    Krs's Avatar
    Krs Posts: 2,906, Reputation: 320
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    #11

    May 19, 2006, 05:02 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by DJ 'H'
    well thats the thing I am 22yrs old and moving out has been on my mind for a while - I was just not planning to do so for another few months or so. I wanted to start my new job and get settled there first and save a bit of dosh to buy furniture etc.

    Now I am faced with decision making now! - If moving out is the right choice I have have to act fast. Kelly won't wait for long - she needs someone living with her as she cannot afford it on her own - so if I don't move in someone else will. But I need to be 100% sure - if I move out and it goes wrong there is no going back. My family home will be sold and so I will have no where to go.

    It's deciding whether to take the risk or not?
    Sometimes in life things get thrown in our face when we least expect them.. I am an expert in that..
    I've had to make 1 drastic decission in my life and I had to act quick.. and I did, and ill never changed my decission. Im happy I did it.

    But at least if you move out you will move in with a friend. Wouldn't your rather do that, at least you're not alone and as kelly is your mate - known her since you were a kid, then I'm sure it will work out for u
    Xxx
    DJ 'H''s Avatar
    DJ 'H' Posts: 1,109, Reputation: 114
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    #12

    May 19, 2006, 05:03 AM
    I know - but my Mum will say I am being selfish if I move out! Oh god this is so hard!
    Krs's Avatar
    Krs Posts: 2,906, Reputation: 320
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    #13

    May 19, 2006, 05:04 AM
    Why selfish honey?
    DJ 'H''s Avatar
    DJ 'H' Posts: 1,109, Reputation: 114
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    #14

    May 19, 2006, 06:05 AM
    Because I will putting myself first and not thinking about her or my brothers.

    My mum runs her business from home. She converted the garage into her florist workshop - so she lose that if I don't agree - which is probablt the reason she wants to stay at the house in the first place!
    Krs's Avatar
    Krs Posts: 2,906, Reputation: 320
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    #15

    May 19, 2006, 06:11 AM
    U are in a tricky one...

    Is the garage fully converted?
    Would be difficult for your mum to do something similar in a new house?
    DJ 'H''s Avatar
    DJ 'H' Posts: 1,109, Reputation: 114
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    #16

    May 19, 2006, 06:13 AM
    Especially since she will have to go on council as she won't be able to aford a mortgage?
    DJ 'H''s Avatar
    DJ 'H' Posts: 1,109, Reputation: 114
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    #17

    May 19, 2006, 06:15 AM
    I am in the trickiest of situations - I cannot find a solution - ut I fear I will go mad if I don't soon. I am exhausted trying to figure this out and so so stressed!
    Krs's Avatar
    Krs Posts: 2,906, Reputation: 320
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    #18

    May 19, 2006, 06:25 AM
    But if you decide to stay and live with your mum and contribute LM350 monthly, will your mum expect to live there forever wi her?
    DJ 'H''s Avatar
    DJ 'H' Posts: 1,109, Reputation: 114
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    #19

    May 19, 2006, 06:28 AM
    Well sh knows it wold not be forever - she understands lee and I are going to move out at some point.
    Krs's Avatar
    Krs Posts: 2,906, Reputation: 320
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    #20

    May 19, 2006, 06:30 AM
    Is your bro lee moving or staying?

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