[vaboy112]

I have been with this girl for almost 2 yrs this upcoming October. We started in h.s and through our 1st yr away at college. I'm 20 and she is about to be 20 soon. We go to different schools so that was hard for us but we overcame it. We were each others first sexual partners and we really loved each other. We had fights like every couple but nothing too serious. About 3 weeks ago we had a little fight in which I said some things I shouldn't of said and she instantly started to ignore me. She ignored me for about two days while I constantly called her and texted her but she never responded. After about 3 days she responded but she was very short with her answers and rude. But she recently began to text me and call me a lot durign the day. She called me a lot but always said that she still didn't know what she wanted to do and that she needs space. So for the past three weeks we have been talking less. She is so up and down with her emotions one day she tells me she loves me and misses me and the next day she says that's she shouldn't be telling me that she loves me and that we shouldn't be talking. Its just so random. About 2 days ago she video chatted me.(we go to diff colleges about 1.5 hours apart) and said how cute I was and how much she missed and that she loved me. And I expressed my love for her as well. But today she was completely rude to me and barely talked to me. And now she's saying that she doesn't want to talk at all and she wants to be free and single. I mean I don't get her. Why would she tell me she loves me and now doesn't want to talk at all. She said she wants to be single but I feel like if we didn't get in that fight then she would have never wanted this. She's always been a really good girlfriend she never lied and she's never said anything like this before so its very random for me. The other day she said a break would be good for us because we love each other and we have a future. But last night she said don't wait for me and she said that I'm still treating her as if she is my girlfriend but I'm not. I'm just being nice to her. And when I told her I loved her she told me not to say that right now and that she is too "young" to love me. But the entire time we dated she was the main one saying she loved me. So I'm very confused.

oh yeah and our monthly anniversary is coming up soon and so is her b day. Should I get her anything? And she says that she isn't doing this to talk to other guys and that there isn't anyone she would consider liking at her school. I just hope she is telling the truth.

her birthday is in about 2 weeks and I think I'm not going to talk to her until then. Its hard not talk to her but I think I have to. Ill probably send her a b day card but that's it. This has been going on for 3 weeks now. Is it too late to do this now? Should I of stopped talking to her as soon as she said she needed a break?

[wikedjuggalo]

Look man I feel your pain I do, why girls do this break crap is beyond me man. If they do not want to be with someone they should just tell them out right. Do not put yourself on her back burner.

Do not put yourself in limbo waiting for her to come back. Treat this break as a break up. Explore the world join friends in a laugh or just a talk.

Its important FOR YOU that you start No contact. Do not contact her at all. Something you must understand is that people change and feeling change. There is nothing you can do about that.

She wants to be single to do what single people do.

I feel your pain man I do. Do not wallow get out and enjoy life. I know it seems hard but trust me getting out is the best you can do.

[johnoh]

I kind of agree with the previous answer to you but with addition for her birthday coming up, by her a mini, non-expensive gift and send it to her house when nobody is home, don't let her know its from you and you can leave clues within the gift. Keep it neutral, don't tell her "i love you" but this gift will let her know you are a MAN and thinking of her (try to not overdo it) as love and peace should be expressed in this devilish world.
Women are complex and strange creatures that nobody knows the true meaning of women even women themselves except God. I am on the same page as you minus the breakup
Peace to you

[chuff]

What's going on is your too far apart and she's probably interested in other guys but she needs to keep you for a back up plan in case this doesn't work. No gifts for the birthday or the non anniversary. Right now she thinks you're a wimp because she can control your behavior by her own behavior and... well she's doing it so she's right. So now you can prove to her your not and quit talking to her. If she is going to be flighty with you fly on out of her world and let her see how it is.

I once heard a comparison that women are like water and men are like rocks. Women wash in and then away but the man stands like a rock. Right now your like water doing whatever she does and following her lead. Be the rock, stay solid, stand your ground and don't budge.

[talaniman]

I can understand your feelings and really need some coping skills here.

She wants a break, give it to her and disappear from her life, and cut all contact that will confuse your already very confused feelings.

Deal with this loss, by healing, and regrouping your own life.

Forget birthdays, holidays and anything to do with her. Go for your own future.

Sorry for your loss, but you are in the right place to learn how to deal with this.

[vaboy112]

She still texts me sometimes and also calls. Should I not answer?

[redwee74]

I would recommend ignoring the calls and text, if you should answer be polite but let her know that you have moved on. Just stand your ground and be polite. It takes time to get to the friend stage after a break up. Don't bring up any thing about your relationship if you do answer text and calls. Again I most state best if you don't answer any of her attempts at contact.

[vaboy112]

After 3 weeks I finally feel like I don't care anymore. The whole day I haven't thought about her and she's been the one texting/ calling me. She texted me today saying " i really hope i realize that im making a mistake soon." hahah this is almost funny to me at this point how she has become so wishy washy now

[chuff]

after 3 weeks i finaly feel liek i dont care anymore. the whole day i havent thought about her and shes been the one texting/ calling me. she texted me today saying " i really hope i realize that im making a mistake soon." hahah this is almost funny to me at this point how she has become so wishy washy now

First to answer the previous post. No, do not text her back or contact her in any way.

Second, "I really hope I realize that I'm making a mistake soon" is womanize. Let me translate that for you into English, what she's really saying is "I, as a woman think emotionally and always want someone there in my life, even if I don't care for them because somebody is better then nobody. What I really want to do is date other people but I don't want to lose you because you a sure thing so I want to keep your hopes up but not really promise you anything at the same time so I'm going to come up with something vague that sort of blames me....but not really, and hope that you are desperate enough to stay around but not get to close at the same time."

All that in 3 words, she's playing you.

Now, if she really wants to realize her mistake soon let her go and realize it. If she does, she'll come crawling back. If she doesn't realize it great news for you, because she's already proven who she is and her behavior is beneath you.

[talaniman]

Nothing she says matters at this point, only what she does. She is not so confused as to want a break, and she is not so confused as to take you back. That's all you need to know about her confusion, and her mistake.

That's why you cut the contact with her, so YOU can clear your own head, without any influence from her, and cope with your own feelings, without her confusion and drama, oh, and her mistakes.

Its about you now, not her.

[vaboy112]

She once again contacted me today. She called me at midnight last night but I didn't answer and today she texted me saying. "how was your day" and I didn't answer again and she instant messaged me saying "hey, are you ok?" what do you make of this?

She's a very nice person so I doubt she is "playing me" she said she doesn't want to date anyone and she genuiely wants to be single

[wikedjuggalo]

she once again contacted me today. she called me at midnight last night but i didnt answer and today she texted me saying. "how was your day" and i didnt answer again and she instant messaged me saying "hey, are you ok?" what do you make of this?

shes a very nice person so i doubt she is "playing me" she said she doesnt want to date anyone and she genuiely wants to be single

Best to go no contact. You want a relationship she does not. You can try to be friends with her but in the end it will probably not work.

[chuff]

she once again contacted me today. she called me at midnight last night but i didnt answer and today she texted me saying. "how was your day" and i didnt answer again and she instant messaged me saying "hey, are you ok?" what do you make of this?

I make of this that she wants to talk to you so she doesn't feel guilty about what she's doing. If you talk to her it only confirms in her mind that she made the right decision.

shes a very nice person

No she is not.

so i doubt she is "playing me"

Yes she is.

she said she doesnt want to date anyone and she genuiely wants to be single

I bet if Brad Pitt asked her out those feelings would change. She doesn't want to date you and she will tell you whatever it takes to make her feel good and keep you attached but not around. To give you an indication of how it's working, read what you wrote. She's got you confused and interested she knows what she's doing... and it's not something a "very nice person" does.

[vaboy112]

Your right, she is blowing up my phone and aim but I'm not going to answer thanks

[talaniman]

Just to clarify so you will know. Yes, she wants to be single, and yes, she still wants you in her life, as a friend, until something else comes along, and then your all the way out.

She may well be nice, but she is also looking out for herself.

You want more, you want a g/f back. You will do anything to get her back, including settling for crumbs, or whatever you can get because you think she will take you back. She won't!

That's why you go NC, to get yourself together, and see things for what they really are, and can move beyond this without looking like a lovesick fool.

We all must learn how to cope with our feelings and deal with reality. That's life.