[Need a friend]

I am 35 and I just need a friend. I need someone I can talk to about what is going on in my life, ask advice, chat with, and return the favor. I work a lot and have No friends. I am lonely and just need some advice on where I could find someone who will chat with me on a serious level.
Any suggestions?

[startover22]

What kind of advice are you needing? You can post in specific areas to ask advice on this site. Have you seen how many categories they have on here?;) Make time for yourself! That is what my number one piece of advice would be to start! Good luck

[COOKIE MONSTER]

Well you found the right place
We all try are best to be serious about any questions that are posted on here
We are all here to help each other and here to help you

There is private messaging on this site for one to one

I'm always here if you need a chat : ]

[jjwoodhull]

This is a great place to get unbiased advice. You will get thoughtful answers and all points of view.

If you are spending most of your time at work, then is there someone at work you can reach out to? Maybe start by asking them to join you for lunch and see if a friendship can grow from there. You might be surprised by what you find.

[Need a friend]

Thanks to all who replied. I will do my best to try your advice. To startover 22: my question was do you know a chat room w/ live chat or IM to find someone I can talk to onm a regular basis. Cookie monsters answer said there was one on one here... THX cm! To jjwoodhull: I appreciate the advice... but I work w/ 3 people and rarely get a lunch. The people that work there are teenagers and my boss. So as far as work... not a whole lot there as far as friends. Boss is too close and kids... well wouldn't get it... They need to be kids.
Thanks again!

[startover22]

Need a friend, what I was wanting to know are more of what are your concerns more specifically, and we could talk about them here.;) This place is the best place I have found to talk about issues and get great responses, some a little tough and some a little soft...
So if you have something in specific you want to talk about, lets do it.
What type of work are you doing? What are your hours? What do you like to do on your off time... we should start there.

[snowalps]

Yeah. This is the best place for advice. I found out this site accidentally on a search from Google I guess, but since then I have nothing but to thank myself for getting to know about it. It's the best place for serious and unbiased advice. Make the most of it. We are all here to discuss and share things we normally can't with people we know. So go on and tell us about u!
Good luck and take care!

[Need a friend]

OK, well, I am 35 w/ 4 teenagers. 2 at home (step) 2 w/ their father. I am in sales I work from 8 to 6,7,8 when I am done 6 dys a week. In the am before work I do the paperwork for my sign. Others business. After work I cook... sometimes and go to bed. I have been sick lately I am going to the DR. for a colonoscopy... and I am terrified. I am stressed about my finances, and my health. I am fighting my son about his grades and trying to help but he won't help himself. My other 2 boys are to busy to see me and my 18 year old daughter( lives w/ us) is going against ao much of what we taught here tatoos # 3!
I just need someone to say you will make it. I know a lot of this is normal... but sometimes it is too much. My sign, other That's a mess in itself... will leave that for another time except to say I have no support system and should something be wrong I will have no one to talk to about it. Fears concerns bills ideas... Does that make sense. I am just lonely and scared. I am sure I am making more drama about it than is necessary... I just feel so alone.
This dr. gave me a list of possibilities and none of them are fun. No matter what I will need to change the way I do things, which on top of all I have going seems impossible. Something will have to give and I don't know where I can take from. I feel like our survival depends on me alone and no matter what I do it is not enough... they always want more. I am just so tapped out right now. As far as after work in my spare time I don't have much. I don't have interests... or I don't know what they are. My boss is needing more from me .I love my job but there again I need a way to get to where I can do more... Ok HELP;)

[Need a friend]

Sorry... a bit pessimistic today... lol :eek:

[startover22]

Need a friend, this is all totally normal. You sound as if you have too much on your plate. If I were you... (before you go under) I would be trying to make some major lifestyle changes. Working that much can't be good for you and not having one ioda of time for yourself is just not good. If you had more time, all of these other things may come a little easier. Do you think this is an option?

[Need a friend]

I wish it was but we are barely skimping buy as it is... I considered a 2nd job until the dr. came about

[startover22]

What kind of work is it? Can you bring it home to finish?

[Need a friend]

I wish I could sales... so I have to be there to visit w/ customer, do financing, and for when a customer comes in.
My boss is very good about me taking off work when needed, but I can't Afford to take time off. I also want to keep it for if I need it. In case of an emergency.

[jjwoodhull]

What about your husband? Does he understand the pressure that you are feeling? Maybe he could ask for extra hours at work or find some kind of part time job so that you can scale back until you feel better.

And you said there is an 18 year old daughter in the house? I know teenagers can be difficult, but you should ask for her help. Sit her down and talk to her as an adult. Explain to her that you are at the end of your rope and you need help. Don't ask for too much. Maybe she could be responsible for dinner 2 nights a week. Or maybe she could get a part time job so that she can make a contribution to the household - Maybe 1/2 of what she makes.

Although things might be strained between the two of you at the moment, I'm sure she is still concerned for you health.

[carla123]

What you give, comes back to you... so you need to open up, take some time away from work, and start lending a ear to others... offer your friendship first, and don't expect them to treat you as their best buddy from day 1... it builds up gradually!!

Keep doing this,, Smile... work on your sense of humor... make an effort... go out... and in no time, u'll see that you have more friends than you actually wanted...

I was like you when I moved new into my current place - friendless and lonely... I worked on my rapport.. and now I have a huge gang (all of them good friends)

The world is full of good people... friends are everywhere.. all you need to do is, break the ice, and build on it... OPEN UP :)

[Need a friend]

I have asked for the help... no one wants to do extra. I am not trying to be pessimistic... it is just fact.
Will work on the going out to find friends... when I have time

[Need a friend]

Oh the husband... returns what I say with he has too much on his mind and needs to go out. The conversation always turns back to how he has too much going on and way too much to help. I have been asking for years

[startover22]

It is time to go on strike... tell everyone, the cable, the internet, the cell phones, everything is gone till someone helps me deal with all of this!! Sheesh, you can't do everything, poor lady, gosh;)

[Need a friend]

LOL! Thanks! That is similar to what I have done. I no longer cook except once in a while. Maybe 1 to 2 times a week... better than 2x a day. I also quit washing the dishes. I wash mine and any I cook with. My dishwasher is broken and I have not been able to purchase a new one... so I have been washing by hand... which is fine when you aren't the only one. It did startle them a bit and he started asking what was wrong I kept telling begging for help... now in that department they help themsevles. I do get stressed about the house being a mess, but it seems better this way... so I do what I can . I also gave away the puppy we just had to have... I was the only one taking care of her and she is happy now out on a farm with relatives.
The daughter said I should help her more. I asked her if she got it done. She said yes and I said now see, you didn't need my help you did it independently, which is what you have been telling me you want. She wanted me to do it FOR her.
I am trying to simplify... but sometimes it is just too much! Even now.

[startover22]

Understandably, you are under pressure. How are you and your husband? Do you have a life together or is it just "lets get through this day" all the time? Can you tell everyone to just take care of themselves, and you start working on ONLY you? How long has it been since you have enjoyed doing anything for yourself, getting a nice new outfit, a walk, anything... how long has it been where you didn't have to worry about others in your life and if they are all right?

We are not meant to work allover the place for others, we are meant to do what we need to. We are made to smile for a reason, and if you aren't doing enough... there is something wrong. I don't know if it would help or not but have you considered going to talk to someone about some of these pressures? Have you thought of telling your husband that it has come down to you asking strangers for support and not him because he isn't helping one bit? I am probably going on and on, but I do know what you are going through, I can see myself right where you are in a few years;)