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DonaldM_23 · Sep 18, 2008, 01:05 PM

Biblically it does say remarrying is a sin... But the bible also states that if your spouse commites infidelity you have every grounds to divorce.

ladyangler · Sep 18, 2008, 01:09 PM

Don't get me wrong. I think that you can get forgiveness for divorce. I am just unsure about getting remarried. I have friends that have gotten divorced and remarried and are devoted Christians. I can't see God sending them to hell for getting remarried. This is why divorce is not an easy choice for me. I know that my husband loves his son and is a good father also and that my family is so important to me. I hope that if I can prove that he is cheating then he will get help. I also believe once a cheater aways a cheater! Am I thinking foolishly or just loving blind?

charleneskii · Sep 18, 2008, 01:17 PM

Getting remarried is NOT a sin!

DonaldM_23 · Sep 18, 2008, 01:18 PM

I'm not a pro but I've been through a divorce. I was also a devoted christian, you absolutely love your husband. On the other hand why stay in a miserable situation. Life is about happiness and learning, you've learn that your not happy in this marriage. I know it's tough to just walk away. It's a move that needs to be done.

ladyangler · Sep 18, 2008, 01:19 PM

I have had it pointed out to me that is says "fornication" is stated in the verse that you are talking about and that fornication is different than adultery. Fornication is before you get married and adultery is after your get married. (Matt 5:31,32) Once you ask forgiveness are not the sins as far as the East to the West? And divorce is a sin no different than any other sin? Anyway this is way I am having problems with the just leave him and get divorced and get it over with.

charleneskii · Sep 18, 2008, 01:20 PM

I agree. You do not have to stay in this relationship.

charleneskii · Sep 18, 2008, 01:22 PM

And Biblically, when you are married-you create a covenant between God and your spouse. When a spouse cheats, that covenant is broken. That's why God gave Moses the law of divorce. If you can forgive your husband...

charleneskii · Sep 18, 2008, 01:23 PM

And he can change then stay together but if you or he cannot-than your are correct -biblically- to divorce.

ladyangler · Sep 18, 2008, 01:26 PM

Thank you all for you help. I greatly appreciate it.

DonaldM_23 · Sep 18, 2008, 01:27 PM

Originally Posted by ladyangler

I have had it pointed out to me that is says "fornication" is stated in the verse that you are talking about and that fornication is different than adultery. Fornication is before you get married and adultery is after your get married. (Matt 5:31,32) Once you ask forgiveness are not the sins as far as the East to the West? And divorce is a sin no different than any other sin? Anyways this is way I am having problems with the just leave him and get divorced and get it over with.

In your case it's infidelity or adultery whatever way you want to interpert it. Biblically if the grounds of divorce are met, in the eyes of god you can get a divorce. The pastors might say it's a sin, but biblically it's not.

charleneskii · Sep 18, 2008, 01:31 PM

Your situation was not Gods plan for marriage. You are so justified in a divorce. I'm rooting for you!

liz28 · Sep 18, 2008, 03:53 PM

It sounds like there is no love in this marriage and lack of communication and trust. I don't understand why your husband don't wear his wedding band that is a sign of disrespect to the marriage. Your husband is trying to blame you for everything and that is unfair. He's a grown man and if he's overweight and want to change then he should. If your husband went camping with his buddies years ago then maybe the hair is one of theirs, it don't have to belong to a women. If he don't want to go to marriage counselling then that's a problem, you don't have seek counselling from the pastor of your church, especially since their related, seek help from an outsider.

Living like this is unhealthy, especially mentally. There' is a child in the house and it's unfair for the child to see this. Maybe he's cheating, maybe not, maybe it's all in your head. I understand you might not want to get a divorce due to religious reason but can you continue living like this. A marriage will only work if the two people involved makes it works but it seems like your husband is not willing to make it work and instead of taking the heat, he's blaming you for everything but you needs to really think about what you want and then act on it.

ladyangler · Sep 18, 2008, 04:05 PM

There was a lot of very long curly/wavy very dark brown hairs. My husband and his buddy had short brown hair at the time. (shorter than my husbands brother) Mine was long blonde and straight as a board. I will never forget what they looked like. I have never had dark brown hair. My husband tried to say they were mine, then he said they were his brothers that was suppose to have borrowed the sleeping bag and finally he said that they were his. His brothers did have shoulder length hair about half the length of these hairs. So I ask his brother right in front of my husband and he agreed with me.. he did not borrow my sleeping bag.

liz28 · Sep 18, 2008, 04:11 PM

If he lied or not, you forgave him once you stayed with him. So it's either your over it or not but your not. Your marriage needs a lot of fixing but it's up two the both of you not one.

ladyangler · Sep 18, 2008, 04:17 PM

liz28.. I agree with you. It's just hard to trust him especially when I still catch him in lies about this sort of stuff. The ONE is the problem... when it needs to be TWO.

ladyangler · Sep 18, 2008, 04:19 PM

liz28 congrat's on you baby!

ladyangler · Sep 18, 2008, 04:22 PM

Thanks everyone... I have a lot of thinking and praying to do... then a big talk of which I don't know what I am going to say yet.. but thanks for all the help.

liz28 · Sep 18, 2008, 04:25 PM

Thank you! Your husband seems to be a complusive liar and if he don't want to seek help to work on the marriage that's sad. It shows what type of person he is. You shouldn't be living like this, it will only bring you down and no one should ever bring you down and leave you feeling the way he makes you feels.

BetrayalBtCamp · Sep 19, 2008, 12:26 PM

He is not going to admit he's cheating, even if he is. Whether that is going on, there are significant issues that need to be addressed before the marriage can be a good one for both of you. You will not be able to improve it much on your own without cooperation from him, which you are not getting yet (& may never).

This book may help you:

Amazon.com: Ultimate Betrayal: Recognizing, Uncovering And Dealing With Infidelity: Danine Manette: Books

If you have tried to lovingly talk to him & are getting nowhere, then you will have to do something different.

Most likely, it will take professional assistence to get you guys going in a different direction from where your marriage is going now. And you will have to take a firm stand that the way it has been isn't acceptable to you. He's not going to do anything differently until you add consequences to his refusal to work with you to make this a mutually good marriage. .

Good luck to you!

SoLostPlzHelp · Sep 19, 2008, 01:07 PM

Honestly I would say financially stable or not there's always public aid willing to help you. I'm 7 months pregnant right now and my boyfriend and I's relationship isn't going so well but I know that I'll be OK regardless of if I'm with my boyfriend or not. And trust me it will not ruin your son's life if you divorce him. I have divorced parents and I turned out just fine. Just because your parents aren't in love doesn't mean they don't love you. And besides you shouldn't be with someone who blames you for their weight. They weigh what they weigh because of their eating and lifestyle habits and if they wanted to lose weight then they would. It sounds to me he's just mentally abusing you and that's not healthy for you. Whether you love him or not you shouldn't have to put yourself through that.