[MomWontGiveUp]

My ex was arrested for Hit and Run in January 2007. When the police officer came to his home about 2 hours after the incident was reported, he asked my ex why he did not report it. My ex told the officer that he "wasn't sure how to go about handling the situation."

The police report is very thorough and includes dialog that a third party witness phoned in dispatch at about the same time the officer was taking a statement from the woman whose car my ex hit on the freeway. The caller's statement matches the statement taken from the woman whose car was struck by my ex.

The case was set for a jury trial in June 2007 but in May, the charges were dismissed by the assistant DA because the arresting officer no longer worked for the city. I located the police officer and arresting officer and spoke to each of them on the phone. They both felt that my ex was clearly in the wrong and the arresting officer said that he's been subpoenaed for other cases since he left the city where the arrest was made. He said it's anyone's guess why they decided not to subpoena him for this case.

Since the case was dismissed under these circumstances, is there any chance it can be re-opened since it's been less than two years since the arrest was made?

[excon]

is there any chance it can be re-opened since it's been less than two years since the arrest was made?

Hello Mom:

The prosecutor can refile the charges right up till the end of the statute of limitations for this crime and your state. It's probably three years, but that's a GUESS.

excon

[MomWontGiveUp]

Hello Mom:

The prosecutor can refile the charges right up till the end of the statute of limitations for this crime and your state. It's probably three years, but that's a GUESS.

excon

Thanks, excon. I found the whole thing quite mysterious. It appears, by the Motion for Dismissal that ex had an attorney (no doubt paid for by his parents... he didn't work for more than three years). I tried to get more information from the city, but no one ever responded.

One might think I'm hell-bent to "get" back at my ex. What really concerns me is that my son was in the car at the time this incident occurred and ex "explained" his position to my son, making my son think his dad was not in the wrong.

Thanks for your help.

[traceyrco]

Hey listen, you need to get those police officers to write that up for you and sign it so you can give that to your family law attorney. Crap - I hear you girl and I'm telling you - get all of the evidence and all of the file regarding this as fast as you can.

Keep up with the police officers - get with your attorney to see what you can do to protect your child.

Good luck.

[twinkiedooter]

Why are you obsessing about your ex's business? You need to remember if a case is dismissed and you are not the Defendant in that particular lawsuit, this has nothing to do with you and you have nothing to do with that suit. It's for the Plaintiff (the State in this case) in the case to refile the lawsuit or criminal proceedings against him if he in fact did damage her vehicle and had injuries. It does not concern you.

If your son believes his ridiculous story - your son is an idiot.

[MomWontGiveUp]

Why are you obsessing about your ex's business? You need to remember if a case is dismissed and you are not the Defendant in that particular lawsuit, this has nothing to do with you and you have nothing to do with that suit. It's for the Plaintiff (the State in this case) in the case to refile the lawsuit or criminal proceedings against him if he in fact did damage her vehicle and had injuries. It does not concern you.

If your son believes his ridiculous story - your son is an idiot.

I asked a question - thanks for answering with your viewpoint. I want to know whether this can be reopened because it may have an effect on my position. The woman whose car my ex hit DID have damage to her car. I've spoken to her on the phone and she would be willing to testify.

As for your opinion about my son, he's a kid... and a boy who wants to believe he can look up to his father. I guess that makes for a lot of "idiot" 16 year old boys.

Thanks again for your post.

[MomWontGiveUp]

Hey listen, you need to get those police officers to write that up for you and sign it so you can give that to your family law attorney. Crap - I hear you girl and I'm telling you - get all of the evidence and all of the file regarding this as fast as you can.

Keep up with the police officers - get with your attorney to see what you can do to protect your child.

Good luck.

Thanks for your input Tracey. However, I already have reports from all three officers and have given them to my attorney. I'm not confident that my attorney has the backbone for my particular situation (he's never dealt with this judge before). I've been told that young attorneys often will "settle" because they don't want to appear too cocky too early in their career (they're going to be seeing the same judge many times in their career and need to earn a reputation first.)

I have lots of 'evidence' but have been told that it won't be viewed as a potential problem by the judge. Ex can claim all these things happened before he entered re-hab.

Anyway - thanks again for responding.

[excon]

Hello again, Mom:

In my view, the law is the one profession where you don't get ahead by going along. Arguing IS what being a lawyer is all about.

Now, I'm not a judge, but I'm sure respect is garnered in the legal community by lawyers who fight tooth and nail for their clients.

excon

[MomWontGiveUp]

Hello again, Mom:

In my view, the law is the one profession where you don't get ahead by going along. Arguing IS what being a lawyer is all about.

Now, I'm not a judge, but I'm sure respect is garnered in the legal community by lawyers who fight tooth and nail for their clients.

excon

You know... I would think so too (about fighting tooth and nail). I felt sold out, to be quite honest. Yes, my kids are teenagers and are at an age where they can choose but jeez... these are supposed to be "family law experts" so you'd think they would weigh in which home the kids would be at higher risk for trouble.

I have been playing by all the rules and it's gotten me nowhere (except in debt!) I'll be speaking to a different attorney this week to get a second opinion.

I want to have more time with my kids so if bringing this incident to the forefront is possible and has an effect on the judge's perception of who is who, then I'm willing to pursue it further.

Thanks again for your input.

[ATYOURSERVICE]

Very interesting case. A mom who wants to have the father prosecuted to teach the son something and to show the court he is a bad guy. Hhhmmm? What does that say about the mom.

The case was dismissed. The DA may not want to pursue it. No one was killed or seriously hurt. Instead explain to your son that his father wronged. Show him the actual law and explain that sometimes cases will be dismissed by technicallities, but not always the case, and hope he doesn't hear about the OJ case.

Believe me kids will figure out who their fathers are all on their own. I did and my mother never spoke ill about my father.

[MomWontGiveUp]

Very interesting case. A mom who wants to have the father prosecuted to teach the son something and to show the court he is a bad guy. hhhmmm? what does that say about the mom.

The case was dismissed. The DA may not want to pursue it. No one was killed or seriously hurt. Instead explain to your son that his father wronged. Show him the actual law and explain that sometimes cases will be dismissed by technicallities, but not always the case, and hope he doesn't hear about the OJ case.

Believe me kids will figure out who their fathers are all on their own. I did and my mother never spoke ill about my father.

I'm not trying to teach my kids that their father is a bad guy - I'm trying to show the courts what kind of danger my childrens' father is willing to put them in, as well as lie about it.

I've already tried talking to my son about how this was inappropriate behavior in the eyes of the law and that this case was dismissed on a technicality. Even when my son tried to retell the event "like it really happened" he said "when the lady tapped on her breaks a second time... Dad got really **blanked** off and... well, this wasn't exactly legal, but Dad went around her on the left in the space next to the cement thing..." I called him on what he just said - his dad made an illegal move. He thought about it but whatever Dad says seems to be gospel.

If the DA re-opens the case, there's nothing that says my kids have to know I had it reopened. The woman whose car he hit wants it re-opened anyway.

Yes - I realize the DA may not want to pursue it. If that's the case - so be it, but I need to explore the possibility.

My kids are already getting a taste of what living with Dad is like full-time and the shine is wearing off.

Thanks for your post.

[ATYOURSERVICE]

I see your point, but the case will be a hit and run conviction , with probably probabtion, it will not be a hit and run conviction with my kid in the car or a hit and run conviction with road rage and I am showing my kids something bad and dangerous.

The court will not see it that way. Now if he would have been convicted on reckless driving or DUI with the kid in the car, well then that is different. Hope that makes sense.

And kind of sorry your son has lost the "shine".. never a good thing, but sometimes necessary for him to become a better man and hopefully father.

Good luck with all this.

[twinkiedooter]

If the woman whose car was damaged had the insurance company (hers or his) repair the car and she sustained no physical damage in the accident, it is HER prerogative to keep after the DA to refile the charges. The damage was a civil matter, the charges of hit and run are criminal. It should be that woman pestering the DA to refile, not you. I know you want to show your son daddy's a jerk and all, and you want to show the Court how reckless and irresponsible daddy is, but you must remember it's the other woman who is in the driver's seat on this case, not you. You need to go and bug HER to keep bugging the DA to refile. You are just a bystander. Sometimes in this lifetime justice is not served upon the guilty. Don't worry, he'll get his. Karma has a way of sneeking up on a person when they least expect it.

[MomWontGiveUp]

If the woman whose car was damaged had the insurance company (hers or his) repair the car and she sustained no physical damage in the accident, it is HER perogative to keep after the DA to refile the charges.

Yes - I realize it is her prerogative to pursue. Without going into a huge amount of dialog about this woman, let's just say that she's a "wisher" and not a "do-er". She will gladly re-open the case. However, based on my conversations with her, she is not very resourceful. I provided her with a copy of the police report (which I went to City Hall and paid for).

Anyway - at this point, I am only trying to see what's possible. If this woman chooses to re-open, she can try (by the sounds of things here). For me, it just may not be worth it but I need to know what options are still open "just in case."

The damage was a civil matter, the charges of hit and run are criminal. It should be that woman pestering the DA to refile, not you. I know you want to show your son daddy's a jerk and all, and you want to show the Court how reckless and irresponsible daddy is, but you must remember it's the other woman who is in the driver's seat on this case, not you. You need to go and bug HER to keep bugging the DA to refile. You are just a bystander. Sometimes in this lifetime justice is not served upon the guilty. Don't worry, he'll get his. Karma has a way of sneeking up on a person when they least expect it.

I'm a great believer in Karma. For some, it just takes longer to catch up with... but it will come. I know I'm not perfect and I've done things I regret but I honestly don't know what I did to deserve this.

[MomWontGiveUp]

I see your point, but the case will be a hit and run conviction , with probably probabtion, it will not be a hit and run conviction with my kid in the car or a hit and run conviction with road rage and I am showing my kids something bad and dangerous.

The court will not see it that way. Now if he would have been convicted on reckless driving or DUI with the kid in the car, well then that is different. Hope that makes sense.

And kinda of sorry your son has lost the "shine".. never a good thing, but sometimes necessary for him to become a better man and hopefully father.

Good luck with all this.

Hmm there WAS a 3rd party who reported ex for reckless driving. Oh well... I hear what you're saying about the conviction not including "with my son in the car." However, this is not the first time ex has done something like this with the kids in the car. Each report individually means nothing; it's the collective picture that shows a pattern.

I'm grateful that my present husband has been a positive role model for both of my children these past 6 years.

[traceyrco]

Oh, I thought your kids were much younger. I agree that the kiddos do figure out their parents psycho-ness, but I understand your position of not wanting them to be hurt and it's always in the back of our minds "will my son copy this guys behavior?"

Now that I know your kids ages - I have to agree that the judge will say "so what". You wouldn't believe what I went through in my custody case and it is absolutely unbelievable what the judges dismiss. Lucky for me I kept my case out of court and it was settled to my satisfaction - but I know exactly what you're experiencing.

My opinion is that you take the energy and money you're putting in fighting this creep since there's only 2 years left of their childhood and spend that to help your kids feel safe, confident and happy about you, your relationship and the great start you're providing them. Eagle U has a really great program - just Google Eagle U and check it out. Putting your money in things like this instead of a lawyer will do you and your kids a world of good! Just my thought.

[MomWontGiveUp]

Oh, I thought your kids were much younger. I agree that the kiddos do figure out their parents psycho-ness, but I understand your position of not wanting them to be hurt and it's always in the back of our minds "will my son copy this guys behavior?"

Now that I know your kids ages - I have to agree that the judge will say "so what". You wouldn't believe what I went through in my custody case and it is absolutely unbelievable what the judges dismiss. Lucky for me I kept my case out of court and it was settled to my satisfaction - but I know exactly what you're experiencing.

My opinion is that you take the energy and money you're putting in fighting this creep since there's only 2 years left of their childhood and spend that to help your kids feel safe, confident and happy about you, your relationship and the great start you're providing them. Eagle U has a really great program - just google Eagle U and check it out. Putting your money in things like this instead of a lawyer will do you and your kids a world of good! Just my thought.

Thanks for the referral to Eagle U, Tracey. I'll check it out. I wish I could just drop this... but once Pandora's Box was opened, I was forced to retain an attorney and enter the court. I tried offering a more than reasonable parenting plan to settle out of court (I asked for EOW and 2 weeks vacation each year - standard arrangement) They rejected my plan and said "How about kids can call or see you when they feel like it? No scheduled parenting time at all..." I DON'T THINK SO!

By the time we went to the preliminary hearing, ex's side had thrown in a bone of every other Sunday for 3 hours and no overnights. I honestly don't understand where any of these people see that this is "in the best interest of the children" to be alienated from their mother... with the court's help!

Anyway... I will look into the Eagle U. I appreciate the insight.

[traceyrco]

Aha - more information comes to light!

He started all of this? Isn't it just like those psychos! Everybody owes them everything - they're the only ones with "rights". Now I understand your frustration. That is outrageous - is the judge getting paid off here?

I wish the best for you and if it can possibly make you feel any better - your kids are very close to 18 and you will be out of the custody court system forever. I'm just glad for you that they aren't little bitty - that's what I was fearful of when you first posted. Take care.

[Fr_Chuck]

There is no way this should have been dismissed, after I left the police dept I had accidents, even traffic tickets that I had to appear in court and testify to. So the motion to dismiss was not even a real valid one. But then most likely the person who was hit, got paid for by someone's insurance and did not put any pressure on the DA.

It can be re-filed but I doubt it will be.

[MomWontGiveUp]

Chuck - the woman finally got paid for damages (to her car) but only AFTER I provided her with a copy of the police report. She does not own a computer and does not appear to be very resourceful. She was able to get the insurance information off the police report to make her claim. This was well more than a year AFTER the incident occurred. I have not persisted with her to go to the DA to re-open the case; mostly because I was not sure if it was even possible. If I decide to pursue this, my guess is that I'd need to arrange to meet this woman at City Hall and walk her through. This would also enable me to get an accurate account of why this was dismissed, rather than rely on her to relay the message and mis-state information.

The entire situation stinks. The old "I smell a rat" comes to mind. The arresting and assisting officers both clearly remember the incident and... as I stated earlier, the written report was very detailed and incriminating.

Because I was not involved in the incident, I realize I, myself cannot re-open the matter. However, the woman who was hit could attempt... but she seems like the kind of person who wants her hand held all the way through. In other words, she'd do it if I did all the leg work and just had her show up to sign an affidavit, testify, etc. She even offered to appear at my custody hearing.

Thanks for your post!