[cookie123]

Hi everybody. I have a problem which is completely eating me up and it's getting worse day by day. The main problem is that I find it difficult to keep friends.

Whenever I make friends with a group of people, there is always one person in that group who takes a dislike to me, and she (it's always a girl) turns the rest of the group against me. Then she issues an ultimatum to the group saying 'Hang out with her, or hang out with me' and I inevitably get ditched. It's even got to the point where people have to lie about meeting up with me in case the ring leader of the group finds out.

I go to an extremely small university and have currently got about 5 enemies, but they each know a lot of people and I often get funny looks or comments from people who they know. One of my enemies is an ex who cheated on me; three are just a pair of crazy girls; one is a guy who just slags me off. The number of friends I have is waning, and to be honest it's just plain embarrassing. To make matters worse, I was in a bit of a public brawl a while ago with some guy who was randomly calling me names, and I feel like they are all talking and laughing at me.

I'm not just saying this, I would really like a wider circle of friends, but I feel like it's worthless because they will all just eventually push me away. I am fed up with people just taking an instant dislike to me.

Please help me.

[valinors_sorrow]

Calm down. Regroup. Quit letting others define you. Let go of the past. And only after you have managed this: Seek a wider circle of friends and be more careful with them than the ones from your past.

Simple? No

Worth it? Yes

[talaniman]

Its not friends you want its to be accepted in the clique. I agree with Val here don't let others define who you are. Be selective and pick friends that appreciate who you are as a person and don't answer to a ringleader!:cool: :)

[fredg]

Hi,
Colleges do have their groups of "friends", just like High Schools.
I have attended about 4 different colleges in my lifetime so far, and do know what you mean.
I am 64, married 29 yrs, and have some college degrees.
OK, with that said, FORGOT about the past. Today is a new day. We can choose our friends, or at least choose those we want to meet.
SMILE, and it shows you like yourself, and others will like you, too. When you meet someone, talk about them. You can make more friends in a month listening to others, than you can in a year having them listen to you.
If you "join" some kind of "friend" group, without knowing it, and it doesn't work out as friends, then forget it and move on. Not everyone is like that; you will find someone who likes you, and is not "tied down" to some group.
Keep trying, and hang in there. Be yourself, and listen to others. Good luck.

[abbalover]

I take on board what you are saying, but I don't understand the 'don't let people define you' part. What does that mean, and how do I get people to stop defining me?

[talaniman]

Be Yourself!!

[valinors_sorrow]

"there is always one person in that group who takes a dislike to me"... that is letting others define you.

"currently got about 5 enemies, but they each know a lot of people and I often get funny looks or comments from people who they know"... there it is again - so what about funny looks!

"The number of friends I have is waning, and to be honest it's just plain embarassing"... and again (this too shall pass if you let it).

"To make matters worse, I was in a bit of a public brawl a while ago"... Now this is YOU defining you, so are you starting to get it?

"but I feel like it's worthless because they will all just eventually push me away"... there is you being defined by others again.

Hope that helps to better clarify the difference :-)

[matthewjordan]

:mad: :mad: :mad: You stupid loser. Get some friends. I don't know, try some stuffed toys or something.

Peace,
Take Care and good luck with your problem(s).
However screwed up you/they are.

MatthewJordan:D

Drink lots of water. =] <3

[matthewjordan]

You suck! Get some friends aye!




























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[matthewjordan]

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[matthewjordan]

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[needofhelp]

Do you want to be friends with people who are influenced by a ring leader? Those people aren't worth your time or deserve your friendship. Be yourself and you will find friends.