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    bluespirit's Avatar
    bluespirit Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 12, 2008, 05:07 PM
    She says she is not ready for a full time relationship
    I have been with this girl for about a year now, doing all kind of activities. After a few months she signaled me that she was interested in taking it further, however, due to my personal circumstances I indicated that I could not have relationship in that time, as I might have to go abroad at any time.

    As I have been spending more and more time with her, I now have more feelings with her (I guess I'm in love with her) and I want to be in a relationship. But she said to me that she is now not ready for a full time relationship, s there are so many things happening in her life right now. But she said that she really really likes me and want to be my friend (Very close friends - we still sleep together :)

    But the thing is that I get the feeling that we are not dong much anymore together, staying in most of the times.

    I was very heartbroken, and now I want to be with her at all time. But I guess I am just driving her away and perhaps not interested anymore, as I have been bombarding her with so many relationship issues.

    Any advice? Much appreciated.
    h0llister's Avatar
    h0llister Posts: 335, Reputation: 15
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    #2

    Sep 12, 2008, 05:21 PM
    If she's not ready don't try and force her to be or else you will push her away farther. But if u keep on sleeping with her , its going to hurt u more because u will go more attached to her.
    bluespirit's Avatar
    bluespirit Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #3

    Sep 13, 2008, 04:46 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by h0llister
    if shes not ready dont try and force her to be or else you will push her away farther. but if u keep on sleeping with her , its going to hurt u more because u will go more attached to her.

    Thanks h0llister!

    This situation is just driving me crazy. The more I try to switch off and hide my emotions, the harder it gets for me, n is causing me so much stress and anxiety. I'm just an emotional wreck.
    I suppose I'm a bit jealous too.i.e. when she's out with her friends. I just can't stop thinking about her.

    She is really nice, but she' sometimes short with me. Every time I confront her about the whole situation, She says that she want to be with me n that she is happy with what we have at the moment, n we should see what life brings in the future, n enjoy the time we have with each other.

    From the rational reasoning perspective it makes sense. But in this situation, I'm just too emotional I suppose.

    I don't want to loose her by me being too pushy n bringing up relationship issues at all times. But this situation is increasingly becoming too much to bear for me.

    Heeeeeelllp :)
    h0llister's Avatar
    h0llister Posts: 335, Reputation: 15
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    #4

    Sep 13, 2008, 05:45 PM
    If you are meant to be together you will. Just give time, when she's ready and if.. then you can have a relationship that will be strong. Focus on something else right now (school, work etc.) still stay in contact with her so you don't lose her. But I suggest you stop having sex with her, its going to tear you apart. Tell her no more fooling around its either were together or not. If not, don't get mad accpet and wait. If its to hard maybe take time for youselves and in the future get together. Just my opinion*
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Sep 14, 2008, 08:56 PM
    Just because your in a relationship doesn't mean you give up your own life. Keep your life balanced with things you enjoy, so you both can have some breathing room.

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