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    Dack276's Avatar
    Dack276 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 9, 2008, 07:16 PM
    What does it mean when she wants to be single for a while before a relationship
    Me and my girlfriend of 2 months were doing great up until about a couple weeks ago. She recently told me that she wanted some time apart from me to be single for a while before she is in a relationship, and that she has a problem with replacing guys with other guys. I totally support her but I'm paranoid of being led on and hurt. I'm trying to give her some space but I have so many questions about what's going on... im so confused
    ISneezeFunny's Avatar
    ISneezeFunny Posts: 4,175, Reputation: 821
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    #2

    Sep 9, 2008, 07:22 PM
    I'd hate to break it to you, but I think this is girl code for "I just don't like you anymore" or "I found someone new."

    Usually, when a girl "needs a break"... this is the case.
    ylaira's Avatar
    ylaira Posts: 1,193, Reputation: 118
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    #3

    Sep 9, 2008, 07:22 PM
    You are not paranoid and your fears are reasonable. Sorry man but it sounds like she isn't settling exclusively to you. Why settle for that?
    Dack276's Avatar
    Dack276 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Sep 9, 2008, 07:33 PM
    She says she still wants to be with me she just needs time, and the relationship was kind of rushed
    ISneezeFunny's Avatar
    ISneezeFunny Posts: 4,175, Reputation: 821
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    #5

    Sep 9, 2008, 07:37 PM
    That may be just as true, but your options are limited... you have to give her time and space, and move on with your life.

    If she comes back, then great, but if not, at least you've moved on.

    If she starts stringing you along and you become "the friend," and it actually turns out that she doesn't like you anymore... you'll be much more hurt in the long run.
    Dack276's Avatar
    Dack276 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Sep 9, 2008, 07:58 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny
    That may be just as true, but your options are limited...you have to give her time and space, and move on with your life.

    If she comes back, then great, but if not, at least you've moved on.

    If she starts stringing you along and you become "the friend," and it actually turns out that she doesn't like you anymore...you'll be much more hurt in the long run.

    I totally agree, I know exactly what I have to do, I just don't know why she would want to be single for a while. It makes it even harder because we work together and I see her everyday
    ylaira's Avatar
    ylaira Posts: 1,193, Reputation: 118
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    #7

    Sep 9, 2008, 08:04 PM
    Romance fireworks is gone for her. If she feels that again, she'll come back. We just don't know when but that doesn't sound a partner you can have through thick and thin. 2-6 months should be the hottest period in a relationship.
    brokegirl's Avatar
    brokegirl Posts: 10, Reputation: 2
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    #8

    Sep 11, 2008, 07:56 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Dack276
    Me and my girlfriend of 2 months were doing great up until about a couple weeks ago. She recently told me that she wanted some time apart from me to be single for a while before she is in a relationship, and that she has a problem with replacing guys with other guys. i totally support her but im paranoid of being led on and hurt. im trying to give her some space but i have so many questions about whats going on...im so confused
    She is prob seeing someone else or is just not intrested in a relationship with you only. If you want anyhting serious with her don't count on it. I would end it completely if I were you unless you don't mind her going out with others as well as you. Sounds like she doesn't deserve you. I would find someone else that does.
    JBeaucaire's Avatar
    JBeaucaire Posts: 5,426, Reputation: 997
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    #9

    Sep 11, 2008, 09:16 AM
    She isn't leading you on, she isn't hurting you, and you're not really even confused.

    What's happening is she's being honest with you and you wish she felt differently. Nothing to be confused about at all... it's all reasonable and understandable, on both sides.

    The whole point of dating is to see if you want to continue based on what has happened so far. Either one of you, at any moment, can decide "this has been ok, but I think I'm done."

    That's what's happening. This dating experiment is coming to an end, by her choice, and it's that simple. You may not have done anything wrong, and she may not really know what she wants. But she is honestly saying what she doesn't want... and that's to be your exclusive girlfriend.

    How calmly and quickly you can accept this simple truth is a reflection of your own maturity. You can do it.
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