[In Sorrow]

Ok we all know we have to Die someday, there is no if's an's or buts about it. But there is an Actual " Fear " of the Physical Aspect of the Dying Process. I am not afraid of Death itself per-say, but just the fact of Dying in pain, struggling for my last Breath, Labored Breathing which is very painful and uncomfortable, and that horrible " Death Rattle " that we do upon death.

Now knowing that we all have to die someday does not remove the " Fear " of The dying process, actually it only increases it, knowing that we all must die. I am 47 years old and I see that Death is coming closer and closer, and I just watched my mother die of a horrible sickness that I am afraid to get.

Now is there anyway that one can die a Peaceful and Painless Death without doing that Death Rattle and struggling for breath, that thought just terrifies me ? :eek: :confused:

[progunr]

When we reach the point of the "death rattle" in most cases, we will not be truly aware of what is happening.

At least not on the same level as when we are normal and healthy.

It is a legitimate fear, one that most of us face, I try not to think about it too much or it would interfere with living and enjoying the time we do have left.

I don't know of any way to eliminate the fear itself.

[In Sorrow]

Thank you for your response, yes it is interfering with my life, I have panic attacks about it, I can't sleep at night, and my heart is always beating irregular in my chest. I tried Praying, going to church, meditation and speaking to people, but nothing helps. All most people can say is " We all have to die someday " so just accept it, and live your life to the fullest. Again that still does not remove the " Fear " that I have about the Dying process.

You know its ashamed, Animals can be put to sleep Peacefully when they are terminally ill
But we humans have to go the hard way, Struggling for breath, doing the Death rattle, actually Drowning in our own fluids, and that thought terrifies me, to know that someday I will do that, weather it is tomorrow, or 10, or 20 or 40 years from now, I still cannot remove that Fear as each year that we pass we get closer and closer to our Deaths, and I am just petrified of it.

[progunr]

I guess I look at it a little differently.

I could die in a car wreck on the way home tonight.

That thought alone, stops me from worrying about dying a slow and painful death.

The reality of it all is that unless we are inclined to take our own life, none of us really gets to choose how or when it will happen.

Just knowing that I may not die in such a way, tends to keep the thought from being overwhelming.

I hope you find a way to cope with it though, it has to be a heavy weight to carry everyday.

[In Sorrow]

Yes it is a very heavy weight to Carry, especially since I watched my mother dying for 4 years from Kidney Failure, Diabetes, Gangerne it was a horrible experience. Now that she is gone I am left alone, I have no family of my own, and I am an only child with no brothers or Sisters, so yes with me it is even more freightening, as I live with this fear constantly and I cannot seem so shake it, especially when I saw all of those people in the ICU room on those life support machines it is horrible, when they shut of the machine, that is when the person choacks or suffocates to death, it is just awlful.

[Credendovidis]

In my activities as unpaid volunteer compagnion and attendant in a local hospes, I meet many people at the end of their life. The strange thing is that the more religious people are, the higher their fear is for death. Not for death as a physical act, but for what happens after death.

As a Secular Humanist I do not have any problems with death. Though I like to live as long as possible - subject to remaining healthy and independent - I have no fear for death. It's not different to falling asleep, though without re-awakening.

The fear of death is NOT based on the physical action. It is based on the consequences of years of religious brain washing and inducing that fear to force believers to follow the suggested religious lines.

So if you are terrified of the dying process , first step is to become a Secular Humanist, and free yourself of all these ridiculous religious delusions !

:rolleyes:

[albear]

You can actually have yourself 'put to sleep' as it were, but you would have to be in a terrible state and terminally ill, I'm not sure if its either Switzerland or Sweden and I'm not entirely sure on what the requirements are, I just know that there have been people to fly out and have it done, but on a basic level what you are essentially doing is committing suicide.

[In Sorrow]

Actually it is legal in the State of " Oregon " too and the name of the Drug they use is called " Euthanasia " and it is known as a " Happy Death " but unfortunately I live in New York City where it is not legal. We have to go out the Hard way, while animals are painlessly put to Sleep and die peacefully and humans have to die from Strangulation or Suffocation from loss of breath, I know what loss of breath is, I had asthma a long time ago and it is horrible, imagine the Agony on our Death beds !

[albear]

Yea that's the name for it, but my point being people actually fly out there to have it done, doesn't matter where they are.

[smearcase]

I have seen two relatives die, one from cancer and one from old age. You mention several times fighting for breath. Neither of them fought for breath. The breathing became increasingly more shallow but there was no panic of any kind whatsoever. The body knows how to handle thousands of problems in life and you can bet it is programmed to handle it final function. Remember, a coward dies a thousand deaths, a hero dies but one.
Harsh, but very true.

[Wondergirl]

imagin the Agony on our Death beds !

Have you met with a counselor regarding this fear? I'm guessing you are experiencing a lot of unresolved grief and even anger/guilt that enough wasn't done to relieve the pain and complications of your mother's health problems. Please find someone to help you to work through that.

[In Sorrow]

OK what about the " Death Rattle " that is done upon the person's dying breath ? From what I read on line about it, they are choacking or Drowning in their own syliva that is why we hear that Death Rattle. Also there is something called " Dyspena " which happens when a person is dying they call it struggling for breath or labored breathing which can be quite uncomfortable.

[Credendovidis]

you can actually have yourself 'put to sleep' as it were, but you would have to be in a terrible state and terminally ill, im not sure if its either Switzerland or Sweden and im not entirely sure on what the requirements are, i just know that there have been people to fly out and have it done, but on a basic level what you are essentially doing is commiting suicide.

I live in W.Europe. And I am involved in accompanying and attending the dying in the local hospes.

There are several possibilities to speed up the dying process :

First there is the "no-action" instruction for medical staff in hospitals, when the patient has asked for that. (NOTE : the patient self, not his/her family). Patients are than either not revived or - while kept under full medical care - left to die without pain (often in deep sleep).

Second there is non-active euthanasy : not taking any medication other than for pain, to speed-up the dying process.

Third there is the active euthanasy : taking a pill or drink that ends up in dying.

Forth there is suicide.

In countries like the Netherlands the law has been upgraded to allow possibilities 1 to 3.
All of course under strict conditions and full accompany of medical caretakers.
The thought behind it is that it is YOUR LIFE, and you may decide in case of a fatal illness how and when you will die.

Those who for (religious or personal) reasons want to leave death to nature are of course fully supported in that process too.

It is just that in Europe we think a little different about God/Gods and provide the patient with more say in his/her own death.

===

I stated this also in another topic here :

The fear for death is NOT caused by the fear for the physical process. That is just like going to sleep, but without ever waking up again.
The fear for death is induced by a life time of religious brain washing, to get and keep the "sheep" in line towards the "goal" of an afterlife in "heaven".

:rolleyes:

[In Sorrow]

Well that is great for Europe but here in the United States people are left to die in the ICU Rooms, and even if nothing is done to speed up the dying process, they are still suffocating for Air because even those in a Coma, can feel, they may not be able to talk but they still can feel all the pain and discomfort. I know because my Supervisor's Father when he was in a Coma, he was having mini strokes, and he was crying and feeling all of the pain. Regardless if someone is on life support, or pulled from life support, or not on life support they still struggle for Breath and do that horrible " Death Rattle " upon dying .

Putting one to Sleep without them feeling that they cannot breath or suffocating for air is the best, but here in the United States, except for Oregon that is not legal.

[albear]

People travel there from all over to do it, so just because its not legal in america shouldn't really be a factor unless you can't travel for some reason, in which case I hear drowning yourself is painless and apparently you just go too sleep because of the lack of oxygen to your brain.

[Wondergirl]

death rattle

Not everyone dies as horribly as you think and describe. My father died between breaths at a church meeting, and after dessert too! His mother had died peacefully in her sleep. My father's brother died peacefully during a morning nap. My aunt (who had ALS--Lou Gehrig's disease) had trouble breathing toward the end, but there was no gasping or death rattle. I actually look forward to dying--another adventure.

[Credendovidis]

... but here in the United States, except for Oregon that is not legal.

So the real problem at your side is the USA moral, ethical, and political views, and not the dying process itself.
Than you know where to start !

:rolleyes:

[In Sorrow]

people travel there from all over to do it, so just because its not legal in america shouldnt really be a factor unless you can't travel for some reason, in which case i hear drowning youself is painless and apparently you just go too sleep because of the lack of oxygen to your brain.

Actually Drowning is horrible, the people who Struggle for breath as they cannot breath, just try putting your head in the water and don't breath , see how long you can do it before you become so uncomfortable that you jump out of the tub gasping for air.

The Worst Deaths are from Drowning, Suffocation ( Asphyxiation ) and Burning.

[albear]

Actually Drowning is horrible, the people who Struggle for breath as they cannot breath, just try putting your head in the water and don't breath , see how long you can do it before you become so uncomfortable that you jump out of the tub gasping for air.

The Worst Deaths are from Drowning, Suffocation ( Asphyxiation ) and Burning.

Yea but that's because of survival instinct

[In Sorrow]

So the real problem at your side is the USA moral, ethical, and political views, and not the dying process itself.
Than you know where to start !

No I don't care about the moral's of the USA, when a person is dying or suffering do you think they care about morals ? No the problem is when someone is dying and on their death bed, you don't have the physical strength to just pick yourself up and fly to another country, besides it all costs money, and many insurances do not pay for that. Its just not that simple, The dying person may not even make it through the flight to the other country. Besides I am dealing with the USA because I live hear, I wish the USA had the same thinking as Europe does, as when a person is dying they should be made as comfortable as possible, I mean it is their dignity we are talking about, they are dying anyway so why not go out peaceful. Maybe perhaps I would have to move to the State of Oregon before that situation arrives, because things like that we cannot wait for the last minuet.