[aly-lou]

I have been with my boyfriend for 9 months, it is a wonderful relationship, unmatched, untainted and a complete dream. I totally trust my boyfriend, I know he would never do anything to hurt our relationship and I know they aren't together for a reason. But why am I petrified of her. I just feel like I am over reacting, but she is so nice it is scary.


My boyfriend unfortunately is still married, they have been separated for over a year after a 10 month marriage. Totally 4 years together they ended it mutually, only thing in the way was the cats which she has now, so no kids or anything. I have met all of his familyand friends... I live at his house with him after returning home early from Australia for our relationship..!

Everything is wonderful until the invitation for his and her best friends wedding came through, last weekend he was on the stag do which I wasn't scared at all of. What scared me is this weekend, they are in the room together right now and I don't trust her AT ALL, she has just split up with her boyfriend of a YEAR! And I am freaking out, he just text me saying he's drunk and I don't know how to cope my tummy feels knotted!

Try to give more to the point... Basically he used to help her out a lot, she at the start was getting him to do his washing and he used to take her to the cash and carry for her beauty salon business. Only 3 months ago the stopped saying love you at the end of conversations on the phone, and on a positive oer the last month the texts to each other have slowed to every 3 days or so.

We are all in the same social circle and when we were all out together she said goodbye to us all but made a point of grabbing his face and kissing him on his lips (my lips) and held it. It made my tummy burn, I said something the next day about this after finiding picture on his camera of them happy about her getting pregnant, seeing the test hurt me. She had a miscarraige which I think ultimately ended the relationship.

She also came over for one of our house parties and said "oh i am cold" marched herself into his room and put on his clothes... this was at the start. She has boobs he bought her, blonde hair, big scary eyes and she is so manipulative.

I don't spend time with my ex's or even my male friends, because I know the feeling. Yet he still does have this friendship with her. He never asked me I know, so what do I do..

People have suggested I move away and out of this "PEREFECT" relationship together until he is fully divorced, not just separated. But I have no job, I am in debt and I do rely on him heavily which fills me with such guilt I am upset he has gone to a wedding that his ex wife is at, but what is she doing with hi right now?!

The divorce hasn't gone through because neither are saying they did anything wrong and a break down of a relationship etc. they have to be separated for 2 years or until they can amicably divorce. Which is why he stays sweet with her because she can get more out of him that she has got already...

Seriously our relationship together is complete we have argued like twice, we spend tons of time together... I just don't understand how to react to the wife! WHAT SHOULD I DO ABOUT THE WIFE!? :'(

PLEASE help me... I am scared I am pushing him away, I haven't been myself since she kissed him. :(

[RayDiant]

Wow, and here I thought I was the only one that was crazy jealous over a soon-to-be ex wife.;) I am living with a man who has filed for divorce; I am already divorced. When we first starting dating, his ex was calling him all the time.. just to chat. It would upset me because 1: this was our time together and she was cutting into it and 2: I didn't like the fact that they were still "friends". They have two children together so the interactions they have about the kids are definitely a must, that I understand. It was just the casual chit chat that bothered me.

I openly shared my fears and confusions with my boyfriend and he was unaware that his interactions with the ex made me feel that way.

He told me that they were always better as friends, than husband and wife. He also told me that if he wanted her, he'd still be with her. He is with ME.

Now that he is aware of how their idle chit chat makes me feel, he cuts their conversations short if it is not about the kids, and tells her he is busy. She has now called less and less, to my satisfaction.

So my advice to you is this... if you and your boyfriend are really in it together, for the long haul, let him know how you feel. Be open and honest about it and if he loves you, he'll understand and reassure you that you are the one he is thinking about, and wanting to be with, not her.

Would it bother me if my boyfriend and ex were in a room together and one of them was intoxicated? Well, um, yeah! Alcohol clouds the mind and makes people do stupid stuff.

Let me know how it turned out...

[jessiemae83]

Now this is what I'd say to any of my good g-friends about this situation so please don't think I'm being mean...

You are living with a man who 6 monthes into YOUR relationship was still telling another women he loved her? He lets her walk into your shared closet and borrow his clothes without saying anything? She kisses him on the lips and he doesn't stop her? I'd flip if my boryfriend let his ex do any of those things!

Are you sure you're the girlfriend? Cause it sounds to me like your just a roommate with benefits.

Your saying he stays sweet to her so she can't get more in the divorce. Well, its unlikely she'd get alimony since they were married such a short time. And no kids, so no child support. Is he rich?

Girl, you need to get a job and support yourself. Right now your settling for crap... do you think you deserve crap? Get a job, get whatever apartment you can afford and struggle. Yeah it sucks, but at least you'll have your self- respect. Then you can make him date you, and you won't have to be a witness to all his ex crap.

[RayDiant]

Now this is what I'd say to any of my good g-friends about this situation so please dont think I'm being mean...

You are living with a man who 6 monthes into YOUR relationship was still telling another women he loved her? He lets her walk into your shared closet and borrow his clothes without saying anything? She kisses him on the lips and he doesnt stop her? I'd flip if my boryfriend let his ex do any of those things!

Are you sure your the girlfriend? Cause it sounds to me like your just a roomate with benefits.

Your saying he stays sweet to her so she can't get more in the divorce. Well, its unlikely she'd get alimony since they were married such a short time. And no kids, so no child support. Is he rich?

Girl, you need to get a job and support yourself. Right now your settling for crap... do you think you deserve crap? Get a job, get whatever apartment you can afford and struggle. Yeah it sucks, but at least you'll have your self- respect. Then you can make him date you, and you wont have to be a witness to all his ex crap.

I agree with Jessie here.

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes, get a job, and get out.

And also if you are living in this house, it is your house too. Stop anyone from going though your closet.

I would expect sober or drunk if they are together, my guess your worst fear is real. My guess.