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    very confused34's Avatar
    very confused34 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 5, 2008, 07:42 PM
    How do I choose between two different men?
    I just got off a long relationship. Recently , I have been talking to two guys A and B

    A used to be my high school sweetheart, I was totally in love with him and still feel the same love after 15 years apart.
    B was a relationship all about sex. We were very physically attracted to each other. But never actually dated. And the same attraction is still present.

    I have been speaking to both of them and the same feelings are still there. Do I need to choose one or can I keep both.

    A is all emotional
    B is physical

    What Should I do?
    ylaira's Avatar
    ylaira Posts: 1,193, Reputation: 118
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    #2

    Sep 5, 2008, 08:14 PM
    What do think will happen if you will keep them both? Do you think you 're fair on that? Just choose one or no one.

    PS. When excitement in sex is gone, nothing is left.
    ConfusedInAK's Avatar
    ConfusedInAK Posts: 184, Reputation: 16
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    #3

    Sep 5, 2008, 08:22 PM
    Or what about... C?

    It's not there are only 2 men in the world but if you must choose between JUST the two of them... go with love... respect... similarities... things that will actually get you through life...

    Sex... isn't life...

    Not many things can get us through life...

    LOTS of things out there to get us through sex :0)
    Teresa51's Avatar
    Teresa51 Posts: 48, Reputation: 3
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    #4

    Sep 5, 2008, 08:22 PM
    I can't believe you asked if you "can keep both"! You make these guys sound like puppies, not men.

    If guy A feels the same way about you that you say you do about him, then he deserves someone who truly does love him and that's not you. If you truly did love this man, wanting to be physical with anyone else is not something you would even consider.
    ConfusedInAK's Avatar
    ConfusedInAK Posts: 184, Reputation: 16
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    #5

    Sep 5, 2008, 08:31 PM
    Sorry but just because you feel monogamy is best, doesn't mean it is best for everyone...

    MANY people live a very fulfilled life with more than one partner... and so long as each of them are OK with it...

    Why can't you have both?
    monsterchild's Avatar
    monsterchild Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Sep 5, 2008, 08:52 PM
    I think perhaps you need to step in to A or B's shoes and think would THEY like you to have both? Not many people I know would like to have competition with the person they like/love. Yes it is your decision whether you have more than one partner, however it has too much potential to become over complex- MY opinion.. u may agree or disagree.
    I agree with the above comments though, mind over sex. I had a relationship which was mostly sexual attraction and it didn't last at all even though it was the most memorable. Mind over sex any day
    ConfusedInAK's Avatar
    ConfusedInAK Posts: 184, Reputation: 16
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    #7

    Sep 5, 2008, 09:05 PM
    If I "disagree" with someone does that do something? Just curious...

    I thought it was a way of "arguing politely"...

    I won't do it again if it hurts their score or something...
    meagank's Avatar
    meagank Posts: 67, Reputation: 3
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    #8

    Sep 5, 2008, 10:18 PM
    If you are having a hard time choseing between the two why not sit down and write a lsit of the good for A and the bad for A and then do the same for B and see wich one out weighs the other in the things your are llooking for in them
    ConfusedInAK's Avatar
    ConfusedInAK Posts: 184, Reputation: 16
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    #9

    Sep 6, 2008, 12:20 PM
    Riiiiight... monogamy (or lets just use marriage as an example), because lets face it a "break up" between a monogamous couple that has been together for YEARS is like a divorce without the paperwork)...

    And what is the #2 reason for the High break up/divorce rate in this country??

    Infidelity... that's right... monogamy gone wrong, because obviously someone in that relationship forgot what it meant.

    But I'm not going to take over her post and keep arguing about it.

    I just think it was WRONG that you snap at her for asking if she can keep them both.

    Maybe having 2 boyfriends is an option for her...
    Teresa51's Avatar
    Teresa51 Posts: 48, Reputation: 3
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    #10

    Sep 6, 2008, 02:21 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by ConfusedInAK
    Riiiiight.... monogamy (or lets just use marriage as an example), because lets face it a "break up" between a monogamous couple that has been together for YEARS is like a divorce without the paperwork).....

    And what is the #2 reason for the High break up/divorce rate in this country?????

    Infidelity.... that's right.... monogamy gone wrong, because obviously someone in that relationship forgot what it meant.

    But I'm not going to take over her post and keep arguing about it.

    I just think it was WRONG that you snap at her for asking if she can keep them both.

    Maybe having 2 boyfriends is an option for her.....
    Confused (I now understand your pick for your on-line name), I was not snapping in my post earlier nor was I criticizing her, although you choose to believe so. I was stunned however at the question. Of course, as you have stated, having 2 boyfriends is an option for her, as it is with many women, and is totally her choice. But my point was, is that the option that is the best when you consider how it will effect your life in all the areas I mentioned in my earlier post?
    progunr's Avatar
    progunr Posts: 1,971, Reputation: 288
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    #11

    Sep 6, 2008, 02:27 PM
    Choose the one who that you can tell anything, without any hesitation, as that indicates an emotional connection.

    If both are equal in that area, choose the one with the most money.
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