[stinawords]

If money isn't an issue then why didn't you have a lawyer? The reason support is pushed is because it's really the only thing you can do and if you don't need the money then open a savings account for your kid to use for college! You can't have his rights terminated, you will need his permission to change the name. If he just lives around the corner you can go talk to him and ask him (with out the child being present) if he does want to part of his life. You said in an earlier post that he tells everyone that you won't let him see the kid so you could get that cleared up for yourself.

[JudyKayTee]

[QUOTE=meagank disagrees: disagree i went though this with my doughter and after 2 years no contact from her father the court ruled abandonment and he lost all rights to her and i was able to change her last name[/QUOTE]


No one on this board has ever heard of this - please post more info, including the State and circumstances.

Abandonment is a criminal charge, as Scott has said.

I have no trouble with your "doughter's" last name being changed if he was served with notice and didn't appear. I don't understand how the Court stripped him permanently of all rights - and neither does anyone else.

Most important - what State?

[GV70]

Colorado, Connecticut, Florida, Illinois, Kentucky, Louisiana, Minnesota, Nevada, New Jersey, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Rhode Island, South Dakota, Texas, Vermont, Virginia, West Virginia, and Wyoming and the District of Columbia include abandonment in their definition of abuse or neglect.Approximately 13 States/i.e.Arizona, Arkansas, Idaho, Indiana, Kansas, Maine, Montana, New Hampshire, New Mexico, New York, North Dakota, Ohio, and South Carolina/Guam, Puerto Rico, and the Virgin Islands provide separate definitions for establishing abandonment.

Michigan does not have child abandonment definition.

[GV70]

Department of Human Services policies on child abuse and neglect reflect laws of the state of Michigan, enacted by the state Legislature to safeguard children.

In Michigan, the Department of Human Services is responsible for investigating reports of suspected child abuse and neglect. Michigan's Child Protection Law defines child abuse and neglect as harm or threatened harm to a child's health or welfare by a parent, legal guardian or any other person responsible for the child's health or welfare.
Termination of parental rights

Under state law in certain egregious cases, the DHS must file a petition for termination of parental rights at the same time a request to remove a child from his or her home is made. Michigan law defines the egregious cases to include the following:
CHILD PROTECTION LAW (EXCERPT)
Act 238 of 1975
722.638 Submission of petition for authorization under MCL 712A.2; conditions; request for termination of parental rights; conference.
* Abandonment of a young child.
* Criminal sexual conduct involving penetration, attempted penetration, or assault with intent to penetrate.
* Battering, torture, or other severe physical abuse.
* Loss of impairment of an organ or limb.
* Life threatening injury.
* Murder or attempted murder.

For a parent to use corporal punishment on their child is not a violation of state law. It becomes a matter of abuse if and when an injury occurs.

[GV70]

this is for JudyKayTee yes the court issued adbament in my case of his doughter we were married he left the counrty i hired a lawyer and went to court and was gratned full custdy of my doughter and the court determined this was adbandmint and revoked all his rights and he can ot see her or have any kind contat with her till she is 21 years of age

In my view the father of OP's child has never had neither rights nor obligations.
By the way what does "adbandmint" mean?

[GV70]

Abandonment may be used as grounds to achieve something else, like a divorce or termination of parental rights. But there is little value in using it that way.

Correct! No one may be charged with child abandonment if he/she does not have any rights and obligations.

[JudyKayTee]

this is for JudyKayTee yes the court issued adbament in my case of his doughter we were married he left the counrty i hired a lawyer and went to court and was gratned full custdy of my doughter and the court determined this was adbandmint and revoked all his rights and he can ot see her or have any kind contat with her till she is 21 years of age

He didn't lose all rights and he wasn't stripped of being her father. He can't see her until she's of legal age.

[GV70]

disagree i went though this with my doughter and after 2 years no contact from her father the court ruled abandonment and he lost all rights to her and i was able to change her last name

Make me laugh!
The Court CANNOT rule abandonment.The judge can rule TPR on the abandonment ground

[ScottGem]

this is for JudyKayTee yes the court issued adbament in my case of his doughter we were married he left the counrty i hired a lawyer and went to court and was gratned full custdy of my doughter and the court determined this was adbandmint and revoked all his rights and he can ot see her or have any kind contat with her till she is 21 years of age

I'm afraid you are not understanding what we are saying. You have to remember that this is a legal board and our answers have to comply with existing statutes.

I have no doubt that the judge said to you that the father abandoned the kids so I'm granting you full custody. The judge may even have terminated his rights becaused of that. But that's the point. The judge USED abandonment to justify his rullings. So abandonment was the GROUNDS for granting you custody and terminating his rights. Your lawyer filed a petition to grant you custody and terminate his rights. He did NOT file a petition to charge him with abandonment because there is no such thing in a case like this.

Again, remember that this is a legal board and answers have to comply with the law. The law can be very specific about things.

[GV70]

But that's the point. the judge USED abandonment to justify his rullings. So abandonment was the GROUNDS for granting you custody and terminating his rights. Your lawyer filed a petition to grant you custody and terminate his rights. He did NOT file a petition to charge him with abandonment because there is no such thing in a case like this.

Again, remember that this is a legal board and answers have to comply with the law. The law can be very specific about things.

Exactly!

[meagank]

He didn't lose all rights and he wasn't stripped of being her father. He can't see her until she's of legal age.

OK I don't know why you are saying He didn't lose all rights and he wasn't stripped of being her father. He can't see her until she's of legal age this makes no sense. The judge told me he has no legal rights to her at all what so ever and he has had all legal rights taken away from him it even states this in my papers I have that are sighend by the judge the judge put in there he may have contact with her at the age of 21 if she agrees and wants to get to know him but other then that he has no legal right to her at all

[ScottGem]

If there is a condition like that (that he has to wait until she's legal age) then he wasn't stripped of his rights. A TPR is generally a total, irrevocable loss of rights.

[JudyKayTee]

If there is a condition like that (that he has to wait until she's legal age) then he wasn't stripped of his rights. A TPR is generally a total, irrevocable loss of rights.

I think we are wasting our breath here - time to close the thread - ?

[Keri1127]

I think you all are reading someone else's page because I see a lot of my daughter this my daughter that.. I don't have a girl I have a boy and never filed anything just curious to know what happens at this point.. Obviously you just don't understand so leave it at that.. When you have a child that is being treated the way my son is.. then you'll understand why I have so many questions and no answers..

[JudyKayTee]

I think you all are reading someone elses page because i see alot of my daughter this my daughter that.. i dont have a girl i have a boy and never filed anything just curious to know what happens at this point.. Obviously you just dont understand so leave it at that.. When you have a child that is being treated the way my son is.. then you'll understand why I have so many questions and no answers..

Doesn't matter if your minor child is male or female.

You did get answers - you cannot change the child's name without the father's permission. You could ask him for permission or take him to Court.

Concerning abandonment (and I'm quoting Scottgem): "This appears to be a common misconception. Abandonment of a child is leaving a child totally unsupervised for a period of time. This is a criminal charge. Abandonment may be used as grounds to achieve something else, like a divorce or termination of parental rights. But there is little value in using it that way."

GV70 even quoted the law, directly quoted the applicable Statute.

As far as your son being treated this way - please don't assume no one has ever been in your shoes or that "we" don't understand. Unfortunately, the law is the law and nothing changes that - if your ex has abused the child in some way or left him (literally) uncared for at a bus stop, by all means file abandonment charges. But I don't see that that is what happened.

I do not believe the Court will entertain an action to strip your ex of his rights - but you can always try.

I absolutely agree this thread turned into a lot of good advice, bad advice, fighting over the advice, which certainly doesn't help you and must be very frustrating. However, the answer was given in the first couple of posts, as explained above.

What other questions to you have?

[Fr_Chuck]

Original poster will not accept legal correct answers, you can take a horse to water but you can not make them drink, may want to drown them but can't make them drink

Thread closed

[ScottGem]

I think you all are reading someone elses page because i see alot of my daughter this my daughter that.. i dont have a girl i have a boy and never filed anything just curious to know what happens at this point.. Obviously you just dont understand so leave it at that.. When you have a child that is being treated the way my son is.. then you'll understand why I have so many questions and no answers..

Keri,
I'm sorry, but sometimes threads do go off on a tangent. We try to avoid it, but it happens. In this case, the reference to a daughter started because someone tried to give you advice by relating her experience with her daughter. Unfortunately, her advice was not entirely accurate and we had to correct her mistaken impression.

But I think you need to read the answers more carefully. We do understand your situation and you have been given the correct advice by a few of us.

Please reread the posts directed at you and not the sidebars.