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DrJ · May 6, 2006, 12:19 PM

Originally Posted by Hypatia

Ever wonder why almost every president is a mason?

Hypatia

That's the part that makes me wonder... and we all know that all these presidents were such charitable guys, right??

What other purily charitable organizations with secret handshakes are so many presidents and leaders a part of?

ScottGem · May 6, 2006, 03:21 PM

Originally Posted by orange

I'm not attacking you, I really am sincerely interested, especially since my husband is in the organization.

Don't concern yourself, Chava. Any organization that chooses to keep some internal things secret is going to be the object of conspiracy theorists. That's all this garbage is. I will state absolutely and unequivocably that the ONLY purpose of Freemasonry is community service. I defy anyone to present concrete proof of any sinister or nefarious agenda on their part.

fredg · May 7, 2006, 05:36 AM

Hey, Chava,
Some words can be blown completely out of proportion, and some threads can, too!
The word "secret" scares some, and some make more out of it than it really is.
There should be no need to defend Masons, or Shriners... their actions, character building, childrens' hospitals, and good deeds speak for themselves.

concernedforhubby · May 15, 2007, 09:05 PM

My husband just came home from his "initiation" with the masons. I couldn't reach him for 3.5hours by pager or cell. We have 6 kids, 2 of which are special needs. When I asked him why he didn't respond to my pages or texting he said "i wasn't allowed to carry my pager or my phone". He stormed out after quite a heated argument and I'm sure he's at one of their homes now asking how to handle it. Do I have a problem with this? YES!! Screw the masons... if my husband has to keep a secret from me, then he doesn't need to be involved with them. That's just BS!!

ScottGem · May 16, 2007, 06:01 AM

Originally Posted by concernedforhubby

my husband just came home from his "initiation" with the masons. i couldn't reach him for 3.5hours by pager or cell. we have 6 kids, 2 of which are special needs. when i asked him why he didn't respond to my pages or texting he said "i wasn't allowed to carry my pager or my phone". he stormed out after quite a heated argument and i'm sure he's at one of their homes now asking how to handle it. do i have a problem with this? YES!!!!!!!! screw the masons... if my husband has to keep a secret from me, then he doesn't need to be involved with them. that's just BS!!!!!!!!!!

I side with your hubby. The one who has a problem is YOU! If you can't deal with not being able to contact your husband for 3.5 hours, especially knowing in advance this would be the case, then you have control issues. Would you rather not knowing where your husband is? By being an active mason, he is entering a support group that can be far more helpful to your family then detrimental.

I am not a mason, but not for reasons like yours. If your husband came to me to ask how to handle you, I would send him home pretty quick and give you the emergency # for the lodge to use, in case of a REAL emergency. That's how the masons I know would handle it.

concernedforhubby · May 16, 2007, 07:26 AM

My husband and I have 6 children... 2 of which are special needs. Our 7-year old is terminal. I did NOT know that I would not be able to reach him last night. I did NOT know he would be gone from 7pm until 10:30pm on a Tuesday night. When I posed the question about what if something happened to our 7-year old and I couldn't reach him... he said "if he up and died while you couldn't reach me, what difference would it make if I had my phone or not, he'd still be F***ing dead when I got back!" Is that what the Masons are good for? He walked out of the house... he chose the Masons over me after his first meeting. And if it's such a charitable organization and so good for the family to "make him a better husband, father, and man" then why doesn't anyone tell you about how much it costs to be a Mason? All I'm getting from it so far is that my husband has spent all of 3½ hours of his life at a Masonic meeting and he came home cursing, yelling, and throwing things at me, and walked out! The only thing he did this morning was shove me to wake me up and say "the hypocritial tooth fairy b**ch forgot to leave money for her daughter" and left. If that's a Mason... it's not a Christian organization and he doesn't need it.

ScottGem · May 16, 2007, 07:52 AM

Now this puts a different light on things. What I would do is approach the head of the lodge or his wife (who would probably be a member of Eastern Star). I would explain your concerns and how your husband reacted to them. If they are like any of the Masons I know, they will take your husband aside and read the riot act to him. No way would they condone or accept the behavior you describe. It is totally against the principles they stand for.

I also think the two of you need to seek the help of a counselor. I suspect the burden of a terminally ill child is weighing heavily on your husband and he doesn't know how to deal with. He probably finds the lodge an escape from those burdens. From my experience with Masons, they can be a great support mechanism for both of you in this situation.

I doubt if they are aware of how your husband is dealing with this and would not support it if they did. But you can't go into this attacking them. You are making assumptions based solely on what your husband has done. I think you need to give them the total picture and then see what happens before you condemn the whole Masonic community.

concernedforhubby · May 16, 2007, 08:21 AM

This was the first time he has ever been to the lodge (assuming that that is was where the initiation was). This is his first dealings with "being there". He had dinner at a guys house once and 2 Masons came here for a 2-hr visit once. That's it! So, I don't see this as an escape. He works at the hospital where he is on call and TRULY is hardly ever home! He also just turned 40 on Sunday, so I'm thinking mid-life crisis!

Another problem is, 4 years ago, while our now 7-year old son was recovering from his 3rd open heart surgery, hubby decided to have a 3-month affair with a co-worker. After the cat was out of the bag, the only reason I did not divorce him was because he begged and pleaded, swearing he would never keep secrets from me. Now this?

Third problem... at these meetings, from what I've read FROM A LODGE, they are banned from speaking of religion and politics at the meetings. His first concern is his walk with God. He's the spiritual leader in my house. Putting God first is witnessing! How can you witness if you are BANNED from discussing Him??

Might I ask why you decided to not join? Was it the money? The time?

airbats-goku · Jul 8, 2007, 03:45 AM

One of my best friends is a mason and I trust him completely. His wife is cool with it even though she doesn't know what goes on in lodge either. They are a good group of guys that do a lot of good things via their organization. The Shriners are all freemasons. But because they are a "secretive" society then I guess all their hospitals and the burn units and the orthopedic specialists are "evil" and must be destroyed. These people do a lot of good in this world and if they have initiation rites and secret handshakes between themselves then fine. If your husband is a mason then he is one of thousands doing good works upon this earth, you should be proud not fearful. Do some actual research on the net, I think you will be surprised.

airbats-goku · Jul 17, 2007, 06:16 PM

As to your husbands behaviour, that is a personal problem between you and him. The masons are innocent bystanders in this. If he had been in church with a priest for 3.5 hours with his phone off while praying for your son, would you still be angry? The lodge meeting was simply the catalyst for your angry outburst. Please direct the anger at your husband where it is due and not at those who are standing by.

ScottGem · Jul 18, 2007, 05:38 AM

He may be viewing the lodge as a future place for escape. Joining the Masons can be very valuable in terms of networking, making contacts that can help with many areas of life.

These are not secrets he is voluntarily keeping from you. So I wouldn't include that issue.

Not sure where you read that, but Masons tend to be religious people. While there may be bans on discussing any specific religion, the Bible is part of their ceremonies. As for discussing politics, maybe not during actual meetings, but not during the social get togethers.

Not sure who you were asking about not joining but for me, the time, the money, the religious nature and not needing what they were offering all played a part in my decisions.

MadmanAndMystic · Dec 9, 2007, 03:28 PM

Hello all,
My name is Steve and I'm new to askmehelpdesk and came across this thread about Freemasonry and figured I'd make myself available to answer any and all questions since I am a Freemason and have been for 7 years now. Since Freemasonry is not something I can just go into I will just say some general things in response to some of the comments I saw on this thread. First off, YES we are a secret society. And what that means is that we have secrets just like every other organization, business, or person. Do you really think if you just walked into APPLE that Steve Jobs and the crew would just tell you everything they are planning or working on for their business and the release of new technology and products? OF COURSE NOT! Because it's their business and concerns them and they have every right to their privacy. It's the same reason you lock your door at night, because you want privacy. Not because you are a devil worshipper plotting to take over the world. And trust me Masons are some of the most incompetent people I know when they are together because they can't even organize a ritual rehearsal or a dinner dance without a million things going wrong. So, yes we have secrets, but none of them concern non-Masons because we aren't not planning to take over the world, we are only planning our own meetings and rehearsals. Next. The reason we don't allow religion and politics to be discussed in our lodge meetings is because they are two topics that, since time immemorial, have done nothing but separate people, and our goal is to bring people together. The "goal" of Freemasonry is to "take good men and make them better". This is our goal. That doesn't mean that it always works or that every man that is a Freemason is an outstanding human being, or becomes one. Quite the contrary. A lot of people join Freemasonry because they think they are going to get large sums of money deposited into their accounts, or that they will never have to pay parking tickets again(someone actually told me this is the reason why he wanted to join when I went to interview him), or that they will learn secrets that will help them control the universe. All not true! All we do is give men the opportunity to surround themselves with like minded individuals that want to get together and make this world a little better while they are here, and also improve themselves and become an example for those around them in their homes and communities. Freemasonry(only in the U.S.) donates over $2,000,000 a day in money and services. Did you know that if you have a child that is born without a limb or loses a limb growing up that we hospitals that will treat that child COST FREE until the age of 18. And "NO" you don't have to be a Mason or even know a Mason. We also have some of the best burn hospitals in the world. In N.Y. we have one of the leading medical research laboratories in the world that deal with cardiology. Welcome to the Masonic Medical Research Laboratory Take a look.

Anyway, it would be a lot easier if you all just asked question because I could write about Freemasonry for days.
Also, a great place to ask questions is the Grand Lodges of your states. Each state is run by a governing body called a Grand Lodge and each state has a building where they would be more than happy to give you a tour and answer all your questions. The three most impressive Masonic buildings are the Grand Lodge building of New York (http://www.nymasons.org/cms/virtualtour), the Grand Lodge of England, and also The Scottish Rite Building in Washington D.C. My lodge is in New York in case you are wondering.

Anyway, it's late and I'm getting sleepy...

Steve

sevenandthree · Sep 15, 2009, 10:05 AM

Could anyone explain why females are kept out? (other than the lame answer that guys want their time alone) The â€œsideâ€ organization (eastern stars) seems that it requires the female to be subservient/submissive to the male. (which I feel has been misrepresented by man and their interp. Of the bible/relig texts to begin with in many walks of this world) I have read (yikes I know) that a female mason is an abhorrent thought to the fraternity. Does this all go back to Matriarch vs patriarch? Well calling all masonsâ€¦what's the deal here or do I have to join in order to know the secret? I can't I am a women. Damn catch 22s.