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Wonder1984 · Sep 1, 2008, 09:56 AM

Hey!

Just a quick question.

If I am supposed to be gone for two weeks from my girlfriend and she really wants me to come home.
But I decide to work extra for the weekend for two more days.
And then don't come home as scheduled.

What would that say to you as girls?
Would you be disapointed?

I mean I promiced her that I would come home and we would have our first weekend together in a looong time. And I know she will be disapointed since we usually spend A lot of time together.

She says she might go se her mother if I don't come home.
But I think this is just a test to se how much I want to come home and see her.

What would you want your boyfriend to do?
And why

Thanks! :)

Teresa51 · Sep 1, 2008, 01:41 PM

I am not a "girl" in the sense of my age, but I believe no matter what the age (or even the sex for that matter), it seems to me that the issue is the fact that you 'promised' to come home on a certain date, and now you are willing to cut out on that promise. I think keeping your promises is much more important than whether she will forgive you. Why put her in a position that she has to make the decision to forgive? Just keep your promise to her---believe me, that will speak volumes without you saying a word.

If keeping your word is a problem for you, then learn not to make promises that you are not 100% sure you will keep.

0rphan · Sep 1, 2008, 02:03 PM

I'd feel let down also that you had broken your promise... probably go out on the town to cheer myself up and get smashed... you never know I might meet someone better.

Wonder1984 · Sep 1, 2008, 02:15 PM

Well actually it was not a promice.
The time could change and I said maybe 3 weeks. But then the boss said two weeks but now he wants two more days.
So really the time was not exakt at anytime.

But in any case she wants me to come home as soon as possible.
But she also really wants to se her mother and this would be a great weekend for her to do that.

Just having a little problem figuring out what to decide.

Of course I really want to se her so god damn much it hurts.
But money is money...

She said it was okay since she should se her mother anyway but she also said that she wants a weekend with me.
Is it a test?

What should I do?

Thanks guys!

Teresa51 · Sep 1, 2008, 02:34 PM

Gee, Wonder1984, now you are backing out of what you said. It was a promise and now it wasn't really a promise?

I have found that usually what a person says initially is closer to the truth (of the events or of their thoughts) than what he/she tries to add later. So to that conclusion, you must have felt like you "promised" her a return after 2 weeks, even if you didn't use the word "promise".

Is it a test?? Who knows! You are the one best to answer that question, not a bunch of strangers on the internet! After all, you are the one who knows her and how she acts and reacts. I would encourage you not to try to analyze too much or second guess her answers and actions towards you. Just take them as she says them---nothing more. If she expects you to read between the lines, then that is a poor expectation on her part and shows her immaturity.

Just from what you have said twice now in your posts, you are much more inclined to stay the extra 2 days for the money, and I think you are looking for someone to say "okay" to you on your decision. It is apparent that your hormones are what make you want to go home to her more than anything else. Since you really prefer to stay the extra 2 days for the money, reel in those hormones, and call her and tell her that you have decided to stay the extra 2 days. She at least will be able to make her own plans instead of waiting on you to decide for her.

IDontKnowMe · Sep 1, 2008, 05:08 PM

Personally I would feel quite upset.
This may just be me, because obviously your girlfriend is a different person.
But for me this would make me feel down, and it wouldn't help that you were choosing to be away from me for longer.
If you working that weekend is what you want to do then it is totally your choice, but as a girlfriend it isn't a good feeling to have your arrangements put back for a job.
One question, do you like your work? And if so does your girlfriend know this?
She is more likely to be understanding of you spending time at work if she knows you have a good reason for going instead of seeing her.

Hope this was helpful :)

djbowens · Sep 1, 2008, 05:29 PM

Go home. She wants you to come home and if you are so worried that it is a "test" then pass it and be with her for the weekend. I would be pissed if my boyfriend promised me he would come home and then just decided not to.

Lovelee · Sep 1, 2008, 07:07 PM

Personally I would be pissed if he went back on his promise, it would make me wonder just how important I am to him.

notbigthing · Sep 1, 2008, 08:35 PM

I would hv a different tune, its only 2 days, love is not seeing each other everyday, is you hv someone deep down in your heart, you can tell her, your boss want you to work the extra 2 days. If my boyfriend need to work longer than schedule I would appreciate it, its his work, not he seeing other girl.

dtrouble · Sep 3, 2008, 03:52 PM

If I was her I would be upset that you didn't come back because I would be looking forward to spending time with you -- maybe you should talk to her about it and explain the situation and ask her if she really minds - perhaps arranging to take her somewhere with the xtra money you earn the next weekend. Only you will know if she is pissed with you or if she really doesn't mind and will go and see her mother.
But if you won't see her for a long time if you do miss this weekend then I would deffo make the effort to go and see her - you have the rest of your life to work, I would want to make the most of this person when I could.