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Sunday Morning Humor #5 - Church Bulletin Bloopers!
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
-------------------------------------------------------------------- The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus." -------------------------------------------------------------------- Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the Recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands. -------------------------------------------------------------------- The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a Conflict. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say hell to someone who doesn't care much about you. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation. -------------------------------------------------------------------- For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get. -------------------------------------------------------------------- The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy." -------------------------------------------------------------------- Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days. -------------------------------------------------------------------- At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered -------------------------------------------------------------------- The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility. ------------------------------------------------- Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow. -------------------------------------------------------------------- The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon. -------------------------------------------------------------------- This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done. -------------------------------------------------------------------- The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door. -------------------------------------------------------------------- The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church Basement Friday at 7 PM The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance. -------------------------------------------------------------------- The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours" |
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Thanks, All!
It's just amazing how creative some people can be with plays on words! :) I don't know how many of them are real or not. It would be likely though, that some of them are! In my 36+ years of service in church music ministry, there have been some bloopers in church bulletins that I really had to think about! |
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