[35alley]

I am in the middle of custody with my ex-boyfriend that have custody of our 9yrs old son since he was born, which his family have helped him along the way and I have been in my son's life since he was born, off and on until about 5 yrs ago when I got sober and became consistently in his life. My son's father family (mother, father and sister) called me last summer 06/2007 and told me that I needed to talk to my son and they thought that something was not right and my son was acting out very angry. The father has remarried twice since having custody. My son, have made numerous of allegation toward his step-mother that she have neglect him in some form or fashion. I have report these allegation to Children of Protective Service and they states they have follow up and closed the cases prior not finding any evidence of neglect. My son has followed up with the allegation prior to social workers interviewing him that they are all true. He has stated that the step-mother locked him in the house prior he was not ready when she left out the door to take him to school one morning and other incidents of verbal abuse reported and case closed. I also, report his behavior was deteriorating and he had been suspended several time after not being able to count after more than two times in a month period and nothing was done or said. After reviewing my son suspension records all of his suspensions are a level 3 and highest a child could get is a level 5; something is wrong and nothing is being done. When I went to court the first time and the judge just sat there after listening to everything no recommendation of any sort except the child continue to live with the father. I recently filed a complaint 05/2008 with Children of Protective Service about the step-mother choking him prior to taking out the trash and told him that she was just playing and during my visit in 05/2008 I found a loop mark that was located on his upper left shoulder blade with evidence of a picture that I have for my record, but social worker states she did not find any evidence case close with no follow up just made phone calls to counselors to make sure that classes were going on such as: anger management and parent classes. I am concern when did the case worker finally get to talk to my son, did get in contact with him after the scare heal or what? It took Shelby Children Service almost 2 months to follow up with the finding of a confidential letter that was sent prior to my complaint 05/2008 of the findings. Oh, when I did not know what to do prior to a close friend telling me that I would need to report the complaint being scared and did want my son to be afraid if they had to take him away, I had called my son school teacher and told her about the incident and her reply was that she was not going to get involved and she was aware of the situation with my son and his behavior prior to introducing myself to her. I had told her that I thought that my son needed help in some area of his life according to his behavior being displayed and severity of his suspensions and what was going on his life and that was ignored.

I live in Columbus, Ohio and I have been living here for about 8yrs now and I have two other children that live with me that are teenagers a 14 1/2 and a 13 yrs old. I only get to see my son according to court visitation and he feel since the court have give him temp custody that I do not have any rights which he have told me that several times. Other times that I get to see him is visiting at school and talk to my son a regular bases is calling him at school because no one answer phones at home. I remember my sons birthday 04/12/2008 and I came to Memphis, Tn the next following week and thought that it was my visitation weekend and 05/2008 was my weekend after counting my months. You would have thought that he would have let me visit him, and he did not. I only got a 10 minute visit and that was at the school. I did later return for my visit in May.

I am lost in the system and no one is helping even the people to protect. I am a mother that made one mistake back in 1999 that I choose my drug of choice over my child welfare and I have regretted that, but I will never forget it, because that incident makes strive harder to want to be a better mother; live right not only for me, but for my children and a higher power of my understanding. Prior to me getting my life together the law has change stating that I have to prove that he is an unfit father. I did not know that the law had change when I went to tell the court that I am ready to be a mother, a role model, to care for my son like a mother should care for their children. This came to pass with me when my Mother died 09/2005 and they were bringing my Mother casket out of the church and I was standing there in remorse and ask my son father and step-mother could he go with me when I needed my son the most to visit with my family until we got ready to leave and they told me "NO!", I knew than something was wrong. I have picked my son up on occasions and find his ears full of wax, my son was not dressed to my standard when his father was driving a brand new Escalade which I was very up set that he would be dress and my son was not. My son would be ashy from knees to his elbow that I would have to bath him and oil him to make sure I clean him very well before he returned, because I felt that the bath I gave him during my visit he would not get another good bath until he visit his aunt or grandparents. When the courts told me that I needed to get myself together and than come back to see them. I have gotten myself together and this have been a battle since the law have change and when my case was open it was open under the old law as the court gave me their word that I needed to get myself together and than come back to see them. There is anything or some advice.

Lost Mother in the system,
Please Help

[startover22]

Have you tried writing a letter with recommendations from friends and family that you are all clear of the drugs and have gotten yourself together. You could show them to the court and you could send certified copies to your ex... Just a suggestion, I know how hard it is to believe someone who "seems" to not have it together or at least didn't when I knew them best. Hugs, I am happy to hear you are doing great now, I hope with all my heart there is someone with better advice for you to be able to see your son.