[abilbo35]

I met this guy in middle school. I had gym with him. I distinctively remember him telling me he was bisexual when he was in 8th grade. I was in 7th.

As time went by he kind of popped up in my mind randomly. WE went to different high schools and I never really talked to him.I came out at 17. So two years later after one lost love, and many other tricks, I run into hi at a party at my house. We hang out all night talking and cathcing up. He is now in the military. We part at the end of the night, he kisses me on the cheek. I immediately fall pretty hard for him. In my mind he is still bisexual. This was back in November 2007

We randomly talked since then. I texted him drunk all the time, saying randonly jokes/sexual comments/ or I miss you's. He always got mad saying I need to know my boundaries. In my drunken stuber, I would get defensive, completely confused on what was going on. I text him one particular night and he doesn't text back, he calls. He is faced and tells me he is coming in town August 18th and wants to see me. I said great and we hung up. He then text me for the rest of the night of how much he misses and loves me and wants to do things when he comes in town. Complletlyy ing with my mind. So he comes in town, and nothing. He is still here, leaving on the 2nd and won't open up to me. His "best gay friend" he admits to treating me bad, when I treat him like an angel.

at this point I just want out of the situation, but can't stand to cut him out of my life. I want to veiw him as my best friend, not the guy I am in love with. I try acting like I don't like him, but it shines through me. But I am sick and tired of dealing with it the wrong way. Drinking until I don't feel the pain. That's just dumb. Sooosome advice? Please

[Clough]

It sounds to me like he is playing games with you and wants you to let go of him by you getting mad at him for the way that he is acting. That way, he could say that "you did it" as far as ending the relationship rather than him ending it in some way.

That's my take on things anyway as far as how the interactions recently have been. I'm sure that there will be others who will come along to post responses to your question.

[SweetDee]

You know this guy for a long time, but it doesn't mean you know him well. Love is not a word you should throw around in your own head about someone who vertually has had no close friendship w/ you. FRIENDSHIP... (you do know what real friendship is?). What you are feeling is not love, it's INFATUATION. Infatuation is instant desire. It's is one set of glands calling to another.

(Infatuation is mark by feeling of insecurity).

Infatuations says: We must be together right away. I can't risk losing him"

Try to be careful what you say to yourself. You might just begin to believe it...so be more real and honest and use the word, "Infatuated".

Love is friendship that has caught fire, it take root and grows one day at a time. Love is a quiet understanding and the mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you STRENGTH and grows beyond you to bolster you or your loved one. (As corny as this may sound...). Miles cannot seperate love. Near or far you know he's yours and you can wait. That's what love feels like...

Love says: "Be patient. Don't panic. His is yours. Plan your future w/ confidence"

[simoneaugie]

Alcohol is the "elephant" in your house. If you never drank at all, the situation would have evolved differently. He drinks too, so the same for him.

Quit drinking. Alcohol may numb you out while you're faced. But then we wake up sober and feel, things as they are, with a hangover. The only two solutions are 1. Get drunk again and do it all over, or 2. Give up alcohol.

Alcohol is a liar. It tells us that, "this time will be different." The truth is that with booze, things never get better, only worse. Leave the liar, alcohol, and your life will become brand new! Your friendships honest and your relationships healthy if that's what you want.

If things are going to work into a friendship between you and this guy, at least one of you needs to be sober. The yoyo of drama you are riding up and down on does not represent real life. Booze tells you that it does.

[Choux]

You have to take charge of your life; you are the only person you can control; you are the only person who can make a happy life for yourself.

Simone has super advice... you seem to have a really close relationship with alcohol, and I think it is warping your real feelings. Please consider therapy for your quandries.



Best wishes, :)