[fredg]

Hi, flower,
I am 64 yrs old, been married now 29 yrs, been through a lot, even a Divorce many years ago.
You really have a lot of thoughts, and have a lot of questions about getting married to this person. Your sexual relationship seems normal to me. Talking about sex, what you like, don't like, with your partner is a good thing.
But, are you ready for marriage? How old are you?
If you are younger than say, 22 yrs old, I would wait awhile. The Divorce rate in the US is now over 50-50, over half the marriages end in Divorce. If you are younger than 20, it's worse!
You need some time, time to decide what you want out of life. That's what dating is all about. Discover new people, and find out, for sure, what you want. I do wish you the best.
PS; I was with my first girlfriend for 6 years, thought we were going to get married eventually, after college. Wrong! She found someone else.

[flower81]

Hi Fredg,

Im 25.
The funny thing is I don't see my life without my man, but then again I get these scary thoughts. Put it this way I never dated no body else, I've meet guys in the past of course but nothing serious, just snogging and fooling about for a couple of weeks.
Maybe I'm confused, I really don't know :(

[aqua@home]

flower81,

If you are never ready to experiment, that would be okay. I think that fred had some good points. It sounds like you have a normal relationship, you should be talking to your boyfriend about your likes and dislikes and his too. I think that you should get to the comfort level that allows you to be open and honest. I don't think that you won't do it if you haven't already. Your relationship will always grow and evolve. That's great! Some people complain that their partners change in a relationship, I think that's awesome. You should grow, mature and change as the years go on. Do you want to experiment? Do you want to put yourself out there just a little? Personally, I would try baby steps. If he truly loves you and you love him, then I don't think it's too much. You don't need to feel embarrassed or shy if you both really love each other. I believe you can give a little, step out of your comfort level a little, as long as no one is getting hurt. You might surprise yourself. This might be too much information, but, I didn't get really comfortable in that way until my husband and I had been together for about 6 or 7 years. It has totally changed things for us. You learn another kind of trust. Through talking to friends I have found there is a definite difference between couples who have a great sexual relationship versus those that don't. All can have great relationships, but with great sex comes a deeper bond. This is just my own personal experience and opinion remember. Take care.

[flower81]

Chery are you der?

[flower81]

Hi Aqua, deep down in my inner self, I feel I want to satisfy him, I want to be his BEST. I know I please him and I also know to him I'm still his best, but god I feel confused about all of this because I believe in 5 yrs I should have wanted to experiment these things but then again mayb its just not me.
We do talk about we our likes and dislikes are. He knows mine - surely :) and so do I.
Do u think I should just try a little bit like you said?
Doing exactly what?
Use a vibrator or masterbate in front him? Or durin sex?

[aqua@home]

Flower, I think that no matter how long you have been together, there is always time to change things up a little. People change. I heard that women peak sexually much later than men. I wasn't really interested in experimenting or changing things up until my later 20s. (Could be because I was always pregnant or nursing throughout the mid 20s). Anyway, I would let go of the past and work on the present to create a great future. From what you are saying, I get the impression that you want to try if even just for him. I think you might surprise yourself and like it. Like I said, as long as no one will get hurt and he really loves you, I think you should go for it. Doing what exactly? Good question. I think, I think, that you should start small. Maybe masturbate during sex. I don't know. One step at a time.

[talaniman]

You've been together for 5 years but believe it or not you both have a lot of growing to do together. Don't think for one minute you'll ever be at the point that the relationship cannot be made better or there is no more work to do. I've been married more than 30 years and we still have plenty to learn about each other and are committed to continue to talk and get better in our dealing with each other. It takes two you can believe it. Sex is a part of a relationship and its about give and take ,each of you has to be happy so you have to know each other and want to please each other. There is nothing worse than two people committed to each other and one is frustrated or unwilling to give of oneself to keep your partner happy. It's a lot of talking and understanding, but the rewards are true happiness and acceptance of each other. Good luck and be willing to listen as well as demand! His side counts to so find out what it is!:cool: ;)

[Krs]

Talaniman, thanks, u couldn't have put it better.

[aqua@home]

Are Krs and flower the same person?

[Krs]

No, why would u think that?

[Krs]

Are Krs and flower the same person?

Is it because of the thank you?
If so, sorry I should have explained it better. As I was thinking of an answer for flower, I read what talaniman wrote and he read my mind, so I wrote thank u.. Which is true I suppose to anyone it wouldn't make any sense bar me, that's why then I wrote a small note...
Saying - u couldn't have put it better.
Sorry for the misunderstanding

[aqua@home]

No problem, I was just curious because of your wording. Sorry about that, I guess I should have thought of that.

[momincali]

Flower, are you in this relationship in hopes that one day you two will get married? Is that something you've spoken about? You're young and there's no hurry, I just wondered what your intentions were to each other since you've been dating for 5 years. After that many years, you know if this person is THE ONE, really after only 2 years you know.

In any case, it appears that you may be more anxious to satisfy his needs than the other way around. I know you said he doesn't insist on you doing things you aren't comfortable with but after 5 years wouldn't he already know what you're willing to do and what you are not, why continue asking if he knows it will only make you feel anxious and bad about yourself. You said you want to be his best but he told you that you already were. If you feel in your heart, but most importantly, your brain is telling you that he loves you and is committed to you, than stop worrying and be confident in that love. There is nothing sexier than a confident woman.

As for your "mate" doing all that stuff in front of you, she needs to get a life, preferably not in the same home, much less same room. She was completely disrespecting you and you need to let her know that it won't be tolerated. Tell her too that if you want her comments, you'll ask for them, until then, she can shut her pie hole!

[flower81]

Yes momincali we are engaged, our plan is to get married in 2 yrs, when I'm 27.
Im positive he is the one, and he asked me to marry him so I'm sure I'm the one for him.
He fully satisfies my needs. I completely agree with you when you should already know what I'm willing to do and what I'm not, so I do ask myself why does he occasionally still ask me to do things I know I'm not comfortable. That confuses me slightly!

[flower81]

Why would a 'mate' talk about bedroom things in front of me and my boyfriend?
Do u think she has some bad intentions?

[talaniman]

Maybe she's into threesomes? Maybe she's just crude? Ask her and tell her that her conversations make you uncomfortable(suspicious)!:cool: ;)