[daisydew]

Is it possible to find a significant other that doesn't have regular contact with people from their past? All my boyfriend's have remained in contact with at least some of their exes/hookups. Personally, I don't think this contact is really necessary. They are an ex for a reason and it's time to move on. As for the hookups... it seems like once you cross that boundary it becomes inappropriate to hang out with them once you are in a new relationship.

I really like my current boyfriend, but he keeps in contact with his ex gfs and hookups. My jealousy of this type of situation contributed to the end of my last relationship so I'm trying really hard not to let it get to me. It's not working though. It keeps getting worse with time.

Is it normal to stay in contact with exes/hookups? I mean maybe it's more difficult with hookups because they're most likely friends too. All I know is that I know longer talk to ex boyfriends and I've never had nor want a "hookup." Do I have unreal expectations for boyfriends to be the same?

[talaniman]

The problem as I see it is that you keep dealing with the ones who do keep exes in there lives. Why do you stay?

Seems you need to broaden your approach to guys, and reject the ones with that quality that you don't like, and brings out the jealousy in you.

Half the battle is working with a partner to define the boundaries of a relationship, through honest communications. Letting them know how their contact with exes makes you feel. If they don't or can't work with you then its time to move on, or you accept it for what it is.

[daisydew]

I'm trying to be open with this boyfriend. I told him it makes me uncomfortable and he said well do you want me to stop talking to them? I told him I didn't want to tell him what to do, just how I feel. I know it all reality he would still talk to them even if he said he wasn't.

You're right that I have had this problem with all guys I've dated. That's why I'm wondering if it's a problem with me? Am I the one that isn't normal?

[ISneezeFunny]

It really depends on how he keeps in touch with them. I've kept in touch with most of my exes, but they're mostly shallow "catch ups"... just to see how they're doing.

Of course, my most recent ex... I strongly doubt I'll ever stay in touch with her, simply because how we ended things.

[talaniman]

You are who you are, and should be honest about it, especially when they ask what they should do about it. If your wishy washy about what you want, how do you expect them to know what to do about it?