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MadMomwow · Aug 18, 2008, 10:31 PM

Hello everyone, does anyone know about non-custodial parental rights? My ex has our son during school and for the past two years he has failed!! At the rate he is going he will 20 when he graduates!! I don't work and I can devote a lot of time to him. His Dad does not seem concerned at all.He is hard to get along with. HELP!! :eek:

itsjessica1984 · Aug 19, 2008, 11:45 AM

What about going for partial custody (shared parenting I believe its called) that means you both have a say in what's going on in school, (like what school and even after school sports), where he lives even religious up brining do you mean the whole school yr your ex gets your child or you get him on te weekends?

Fr_Chuck · Aug 19, 2008, 03:06 PM

The non custodial parent has what ever rights the custody agreement gives them,

One has to go back to the issue of why the father has custody in the first place, and is there reasons the mother does not have custody.

But the mother can go back to court and try and get the custody agreement and arrangements changed,

itsjessica1984 · Aug 19, 2008, 03:21 PM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

The non custodial parent has what ever rights the custody agreement gives them,

One has to go back to the issue of why the father has custody in the first place, and is there reasons why the mother does not have custody.

But the mother can go back to court and try and get the custody agreement and arrangements changed,

I agree with this,
I don't think it would be good to ask for full parenting but partial to have a say in what's going on in the child's life, shouldn't hurt any involved. Courts would also have more information on hand then what were given to work with as well.

smokedetector · Aug 19, 2008, 03:57 PM

IF you go back to court, you can bring up the fact that he has failed, but the judge will probably make you recognize that you have no proof that things would be any different if the child was with you. If there is something you can prove that the father is or isn't doing that is causing or contributing greatly to the child failing, then that might hold more weight. That isn't to say that the judge wouldn't give you a chance to prove the child can make better grades with you. Like Chuck said, it all comes back to why you're not the custodial parent. It is up to the judge to decide if there is a good enough reason to believe that granting you custody would benefit the child, and if the reason you aren't the custodial parent right now is insignificant enough to overlook. (This all assuming the father won't agree to letting the child live with you during the school year, which would make things easier, but is unlikely)

JudyKayTee · Aug 19, 2008, 05:30 PM

Originally Posted by itsjessica1984

im not saying full parenting or sole custody im saying partial so she has a decison to make in helping to raise her child as well, if she has no rights right now she could mention to her ex exta tuturing but if she had partial custody they could both pay half of it
of course the courts are going to take everything else into consideration but all we know so far is she dosnt not have custody and shes concerned for her child education how about stick with that and give ideas to that problem not opening up a whole can of worms

You are unnecessarily confrontational - in fact, this WAS good advice and to the point.

There is a reason why OP does not have custody and no one knows that but the OP. It's a good question. You may not like the answer but it is legally correct in the US.

Please don't instruct people who have been "here" for a while, have given very good advice now and in the past, on how to answer posts. This is not a message board.

stinawords · Aug 19, 2008, 05:58 PM

It's true that trying to prove his grades would be better is a HUGE problem. You can try to convince the judge that he would be better there but unless the father is seriously contributing to his downfall in school it will be an up hill battle that will be more like a mountain. Have you tried to talk to his father about some extra tutoring? I'm sure if you would be willing to pay at least half the bill he would be more willing to think about it.

itsjessica1984 · Aug 19, 2008, 06:21 PM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

You are unnecessarily confrontational - in fact, this WAS good advice and to the point.

There is a reason why OP does not have custody and no one knows that but the OP. It's a good question. You may not like the answer but it is legally correct in the US.

Please don't instruct people who have been "here" for a while, have given very good advice now and in the past, on how to answer posts. This is not a message board.

I still thinking giving ea to a problem is better then saying because you don't got custody you don't deserve to have say in your child's life (I know that's not what was said but it is how's its read) I tried giving an idea to go for partial custody and everybody since is quoting me and now your telling me not to instruct people on how to answer a post but I been getting the same thing
I know I don't know the whole situation but with what I understand of the law system I don't see how applying for partial parenting rights would be wrong

JudyKayTee · Aug 19, 2008, 06:26 PM

Originally Posted by itsjessica1984

i still thinking giving ea to a problem is better then saying because you dont got custody you dont deserve to hav say in your childs life (i know thats not what was said but it is hows its read) i tried giving an idea to go for partial custody and everybody since is quoting me and now your telling me not to instruct people on how to answer a post but i been getting the exact same thing
i know i dont know the whole situation but with what i understand of the law system i dont see how applying for partial parenting rights would be wrong

This is not a message board. No one can control what anyone else quotes except the person doing the quoting. I can only control what I post.

I do not read (and I quote) that anyone said, "because you don't got custody you don't deserve to hav say in your childs life." That's you reading something into posts that is not there.

Again - this is not about feelings. This is about the law. Please stick to that topic or I will request that this thread be closed.

Everything worth saying has probably already been said unless someone has some new LEGAL ideas.

meagank · Aug 19, 2008, 06:27 PM

If you have a lot of time to give him why don't u sit down with him after school and go over his work with him and help him out or at least a few days a week this would help him lots

JudyKayTee · Aug 19, 2008, 06:29 PM

Originally Posted by meagank

if you have alot of time to give him why dont u sit down with him after school and go over his work with him and help him out or at least a few days a week this would help him lots

The son lives with his father all week; the mother does not have custody.

That's the problem here.

(Please, you've been asked before. Don't use text speak.)

cdad · Aug 19, 2008, 07:05 PM

I do have a question or 2 for the OP.

1) what level of custody do you have ? ( the 2 kinds normally are legal and physical )

2) what have his teachers been saying to you at the parent teacher meetings ?

meagank · Aug 19, 2008, 07:08 PM

Yes I know I'm aware the father has custudy and the son lvies with the father but if she can go and see him or her son can come to see her or they can meet some place after school then she could posibley help him with his work or on her visation days she could help him as the son may not be understanding the work and needs a little extra help understadning it

MadMomwow · Aug 19, 2008, 08:43 PM

Originally Posted by stinawords

It's true that trying to prove his grades would be better is a HUGE problem. You can try to convince the judge that he would be better there but unless the father is seriously contributing to his downfall in school it will be an up hill battle that will be more like a mountain. Have you tried to talk to his father about some extra tutoring? I'm sure if you would be willing to pay at least half the bill he would be more willing to think about it.

I appreciate everyone's answers & yes, I have suggested extra tutoring & offered to pay in full.I have gotten nowhere with that. As far as "the reason I don't have sole custody in the first place-It all comes down to money, I was a house-wife for 10 years and all of the sudden (because of abuse) I leave the marriage. At the time I had not worked in 10 years and I had no job no money & no place to live.By the time I established 2 jobs & a place, The court had reached the decision.Plus my ex was able to hire an attorney. I did not have any representation.

stinawords · Aug 19, 2008, 08:55 PM

Do you at least have visitation rights with your son? If so I know someone already suggested this but you could go through his homework with him. Also what grade is he in? I only ask this because (and I'm not saying you are in the same situation) when I was in upper HS the classes I was taking were above my parents heads. But if you don't at least have visitation I would go back to court to at least get that started.

itsjessica1984 · Aug 19, 2008, 09:25 PM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

This is not a message board. No one can control what anyone else quotes except the person doing the quoting. I can only control what I post.

I do not read (and I quote) that anyone said, "because you don't got custody you don't deserve to hav say in your childs life." That's you reading something into posts that is not there.

Again - this is not about feelings. This is about the law. Please stick to that topic or I will request that this thread be closed.

Everything worth saying has probably already been said unless someone has some new LEGAL ideas.

What I offered was legal

MadMomwow · Aug 19, 2008, 09:30 PM

Understood

strawberry99 · Aug 20, 2008, 01:44 PM

Originally Posted by MadMomwow

Hello everyone, does anyone know about non-custodial parental rights? My ex has our son during school and for the past two years he has failed!!! At the rate he is going he will 20 when he graduates!!!! I dont work and I can devote alot of time to him. His Dad does not seem concerned at all.He is hard to get along with. HELP!!!!:eek:

I personally would try to get custody of the child. School is a big issue and if you point out that your child has failed for 2yrs straight there's something wrong with that father. Maybe the father should have him during the summer and you have him during the school year. At least you will have piece of mind that your child will get the attention and help for school that he needs. The father obviously isn't looking out for his child's future.

itsjessica1984 · Aug 20, 2008, 01:50 PM

Originally Posted by MadMomwow

Hello everyone, does anyone know about non-custodial parental rights? My ex has our son during school and for the past two years he has failed!!! At the rate he is going he will 20 when he graduates!!!! I dont work and I can devote alot of time to him. His Dad does not seem concerned at all.He is hard to get along with. HELP!!!!:eek:

I don't mean to imply anything roudly but is there any chance your son has any learning difficulties? Hooked on Phonics works great if memory is what failing him for reading it helps to learn how to sound words out, and Hooked on Math is awsome as well (I need a brush up on math)