[suuichi]

Well I am a soldier in the Us army and I met this 18 year old girl who is the daughter of a retired Luetinant Colonal and ME AND HER ARE KICKING IT OFF PRETTY GOOD well she finally had time to go hang out with me this Sunday but she told me something today she said she had a Boyfriend!! But he is in Connecticut and we are in Hawaii! She said they have been together for 2 years but only spent a couple months together before they both moved she has a necklace with half of a yin yang on it that he gave her! I really like her and would like to get into a relationship with her but I don't know what to do she knows I like her and she likes me. GAAAAHHH I am 21 by the way! I can't seem to get her off my mind ever I have never felt this for a girl in a LONG time I used to be engaged to my high school sweet heart but that was 2 years ago! Can someone help me?? PLEASE!

[ChihuahuaMomma]

I will post the same thing I told to another member:

You cannot control who you fall in love with. Having feelings for this person isn't bad, acting on those feelings would be. Just focus your attention elsewhere. If this person is with someone else, then you move on. He's obviously not interested, and you should not waste your time and feelings. It will take some time to get over, but with time and NO CONTACT it'll be okay.

The only exception is if she decides to leave him for you. Long distant relationships are difficult. But if she hasn't broken it off with him already maybe she loves him, and doesn't want to. If this is the case. Leave her alone.

[ISneezeFunny]

suuichi... you listening? This is God.

... stay... away... from... the girl...

In all seriousness, you don't want to be "that guy" that breaks up a relationship. And plus, because you broke up HER relationship, and since you'll be in a LDR... that will bring up some trust issues on your part. Got to get over it... and move on.

Best.

[0rphan]

She would have met this guy when 16 which is very young, although 18 now.

You say she knows how you feel,so the balls in her court.

The decision is hers, you can remain friends hoping that she might break up with her current boyfriend or you can move on.

[TrueFaith]

Can't. Control how you feel but you can control your actions its hard man but try not to think about her it will only hurt you wait till she I'd free

[LoveisBlind]

I agree with the other posters here. You have told her your feelings and now it is her decision what she wants to do. You shouldn't do anything else.

If you respect the relationship she is in, she will respect you more for it. She will know you are a decent guy, and will trust you more for it.

[suuichi]

Thanks for the answers I wasn't going to act on my emotions for I am truly amazed how I decieve myself but I can keep control of my emotions better for A friend is better than not!

[suuichi]

Okay well me and her are hanging out A lot its to the point when I go see her at work she gives me free food! But on Sunday we went to the beach and her favorite pie place the navy exchange and my friends house where I showed her how to break a board with my palm fist head and magazine! And while we are together she talks about how she wants to go to all these places and do all these things! Oh and the guy she is dating she met 5 years ago and that was when that last time she saw him. She started dating him 2 years ago! And when we are in person we never stop talking! I have so much built up inside me I just have to tell her how I feel but I will not let it interfere with her relationship!! And she wants me to teach her Karate which was part of the reason I did board breaking! I get very... empty and sad when she leaves my presence! I don't know I really like her she even as a friend is one of the best things that has happened to me and My happy emotions are coming out again after 3 years! Could it be the reason why I like her so much is not only her beauty but the way she makes me happy? I was thinking about telling her on Saturday how I felt for her and how I'm truly feeling and I had to tell her the truth cause I don't want to hide anything from her, I suspect she knows I like her more than a friend, but I will tell her I will not interfere with her relationship in anyway! Do you guys think that would be a wise idea?

[suuichi]

Btw she doesn't have many friends here and she just started college! I wanted to add that in just so I get accurate advice!

[liz28]

Would you like it if you had a girl an another guy wa pushing her especial since your not there. Let's say she felt the same one for and act on it but later on felt gulity and left you and goes back to this guy. Your in the army and one thing you learn is self control. I understand you're her only friend so far but hopefully she'll make more friends. In the meantime control your feelings and if you can't then you have only decisions to make. If she's committing to this guy she would stay strong otherwise she' be with you. If you still feel like being with her you can always call and ask her boyfriend.

[Lostinlove]

Someone stole my girl the same way that you are doing. Although in my opinion it kind of f up. The thing was I called the dude and told him to stop messing with her. He told me it was her choice. That when I realize it over. It not cool and how does a person live with taking someone else girlfriend. She did it to me and how does he know she not going to do it to him. Man I be afraid.

[JBeaucaire]

I agree with most advice you've received, soldier. Good men don't date other men's girls/wives, a good soldier defends those who can't/won't defend themselves. Right? You're a good guy, I know.

HOWEVER... all is fair in love and war. Now that you've clearly defined what you won't do because it's inappropriate (act on feelings for someone else's girl)... you CAN identify the things you CAN do to win this war.

If the girl is ever going to be yours free and clear, she has to have all the info. It truly IS her choice whom she dates. Make sure she knows you are an option for her in that regard.

So, tell her your feelings, and reassure her she is in no danger from your feelings since you will guard against wrongdoing as much as you would anything else. But... if she were to ever find herself officially and completely single again, you would be the first in line to show her what a strong military man can be for her. You would be honored to court her officially... but only if the lines were clear. Be honest, but noble.

That puts it in her court. After that, you NEVER act weird, you stay that same strong guy she already enjoys. Let her see your strength, let her decide.

[joanne 1986]

If she feels the same way about you surely she would end it with the other guy! Don't get involved with this until she has ended it with the other guy that's if she does,only her heart can tell her what's right.
Good luck

[Romefalls19]

Stay away until she ends it with the other guy, which I highly doubt she will. Just misses the attention

[talaniman]

While its not unusual to have feelings for those who are unavailable, have the good sense to stay within friendship boundaries. Since you have not, then you will suffer the consequences of crossing the line. Leave her alone, as this isn't a fair situation, nor a healthy one, for either of you.

[suuichi]

Whoa whoa Hey now all but one person here has got everything the wrong way I'm not trying to steal her nor do I plan to! I love being her friend but it is unhealthy to keep secrets from her of that manner! I want to tell her how I feel and assure her that its not going to effect our relationship as friends nor her relationship with her guy!Thanks JBeaucaire I think your advice is good and you understand where I'm coming from!! Every one else's advice is just as good but those are not my intentions thanks a bunch this site is very helpful

[clydeyap]

Well,there are many things men can do... firat thing I would,find out if this guy she is with is a playboy or a decent type of boy.well,if this guy is good,then you should leave her and wait for your turn if you really love her.if he is just OK or bad,you should use his weak points to cover yourself and make it your strong points... talk to her about him more often,ask what she likes about him and what she doesn't like... girls love eye contact,don't imagine what its like when she is naked or what is she like kissing you,main focus is the topic.once you learn about his bad points,think and change yourself.preparation is necessary.go out with her often.make her laugh(happy kind of laugh,not the find you funny kind of laugh.. )once she is moved enough,she will find her eyes stuck to you,her mind follwing you and her heart desiring someone like you,away from her boyfriend,she will feel less loved.strike now,or never.take my advice.