[angel0772001]

To a certain extent.

[angel0772001]

And I didn't just say it was only painful for him its also painful for me as well

[Sunnywootxp]

and i didnt just say it was only painful for him its also painful for me as well

Is the pain like the first time you had sex hymen? Well if its really painful you can probably talk to your doctor and have a surgery. I am sure today technology can help you satisfy your needs.

Good Luck!

[kp2171]

Talk to the doctor... ok... pick up a scalpel, swtxp?. uh... lets back off that perhaps? Are you kidding me?

As already mentioned, engorgement with blood causes the outer third of the vagina to tighten... creating a "vaginal cuff"... to apply pressure and friction to the penis, while the rest of the vagina "tents" or "balloons" to accommodate the penis.

You stated foreplay makes it worse. Does this mean with little foreplay, and perhaps lubricant, he can penetrate you easier, but it gets worse in time?

Do you feel pain first (like irritation or burning) or does he? Any history of infection? Do you have real privacy for sex (you mentioned a child)?

Can he perform oral on you to orgasm, then intercourse after a few minutes?

[beekay2008]

Trying other positions, unfortunately might be the other option. I know the facial is usually cool, but going from behind should produce more room. All the best. Consider yourself lucky it feels tight though, many prefer that option.

[shane38]

Do you think you are stessed and uptight more since giving birth? Maybe your finding it hard to relax and enjoy the moment. Some mothers find it hard having sexual interaction for a long time after having given birth. Try having more foreplay and not concentrating on the penetration side of things

[angel0772001]

I'm not sure what's wrong

[kp2171]

Any answers to these?

you stated foreplay makes it worse. does this mean with little foreplay, and perhaps lubricant, he can penetrate you easier, but it gets worse in time?

do you feel pain first (like irritation or burning) or does he? any history of infection? do you have real privacy for sex (you mentioned a child)?

can he perform oral on you to orgasm, then intercourse after a few minutes?

[dimebucker1854]

It sounds like that unless your husband's penis is unusually girthy that you have lubrication problems. A dry vagina is uncomfortable for any sized penis.

[angel0772001]

any answers to these?

Well I did have bacterial vaginosis not to long ago. It sometimes feels like I'm burning when I have sex with him. I know its not an STD or anything like that because we were just tested. And its only sometimes. I don't understand

[ChihuahuaMomma]

It sounds like that unless your husband's penis is unusually girthy that you have lubrication problems. A dry vagina is uncomfortable for any sized penis.

If you read her actual post she said that this is just a recent issue. So by your reasoning, wouldn't it have been the case their whole marriage and/or courtship?

[kp2171]

I'm not trying to pester you with questions... just working through some lines of thought.

Still don't know if he can bring you to orgasm with oral first, then intercourse after a brief wait... much of the tightening should relax, you'll be as lubricated as you're going to get (tho some might still need lubricant here, as production of vaginal lubrication has stopped by this point), and you both can perhaps reach orgasm. Tension about performance can compound the problem. A "win" or two might ease it up.

Burning can possibly indicate general irritation. Have you had any issues with dryness? I know you said lubricant didn't help, but that's not my take. If a woman is dry, efforts should be made to minimize whatever is aggrivating her first, before "covering up" the problem with lubricant.

So... some things that can reduce irritation are hygiene issues... douching or excessive use of soap, body wash, other cleaning agents can actually cause irritation... drop bubble baths and hot tubs for a time... make sure you are using unscented fem hygiene products and if you are using tampons perhaps switch to pads for a time.

You are off birth control now and trying to conceive so that rules out latex issues. Sensitivity to things like detergents can come out of nowhere. My wife developed an allergy to wool one winter out of the blue. Shed been under stress and suddenly wool would so irritate her that she had to dump half her wardrobe of great wool jackets, coats, and suits. So just because you've not had problems with soaps, detergents, fem hygiene products doesn't mean you aren't now.

Also... you might have your estrogen level checked. This can clearly tie into dryness and irritation... and irriation can then cause inflammation.

You said this happens sometimes, not always. Does it tend to happen just before your period?

[angel0772001]

Yes I can get an orgasm when we play and then we can have sex but it still hurts.
Maybe I am using too much soap. I do like to make sure I'm clean down there. I never really paid much attention to when it was happening. I think last month it was at the beginning of the month and now I'm having it again. And my periods are at the end of the month

[MrEasy]

Angel, something that hasn't been mentioned yet is PID (Pelvic Inflammatory Disease). PID is often a result of the IUD. Perhaps you should bring that up to your Gyno or maybe get a second opinion.
Another thing you can do yourself is to test the pH of your vaginal fluid. If it is greater than 4.5 then your balance is too alkaline which can result in bacterial imbalance and reoccurring bouts of the BV or yeast infections.
All of these can result in swelling, soreness, inflammation and pain.
Another doctor's opinion may be worth the effort and expense.

[angel0772001]

Angel, something that hasn't been mentioned yet is PID (Pelvic Inflammatory Disease). PID is often a result of the IUD. Perhaps you should bring that up to your Gyno or maybe get a second opinion.
Another thing you can do yourself is to test the pH of your vaginal fluid. If it is greater than 4.5 then your balance is too alkaline which can result in bacterial imbalance and reoccurring bouts of the BV or yeast infections.
All of these can result in swelling, soreness, inflammation and pain.
Another doctor's opinion may be worth the effort and expense.

That makes sense thanks

[Ash123]

A lot of good info here. I wonder if the best solution might be to now bring this info and a discussion to your OBGYN?

As we know, a woman normally loosens and lubricates as she gets aroused - and assuming you are really aroused (yes? ) -
It might be more of a technical/medical issue that might be simple.

I mean it could be just hormones post-baby or you are allergic to something or ph is off.
But this should be sorted out by a doc pretty quick now I'd hope :-)

[kp2171]

Relevant medical information


Well, I'm not going to say these steps can fix everything, but hormone imbalance (and irregularity like you might be experiencing off your birth control) can cause this issue. Then, tie in other factors that contribute to irritability, such as soaps, detergents, hygiene products... these might not have made much of a different before that was noticeable, but its now amplified.

The fact you had vaginosis sets you up for irritation. The fact you just stopped your birth contol supports this line of thinking. The timing of this problem could be compounded right before a period, but doesn't necessarily need to be tied to that time.

And yes... anxiety or other tension (such as believing it might happen can be a self fulfilling prophecy) can tie into it.



To angel - well, I'm about at the end of what I can tell you. You just came of birth control and you've just had a about of vaginosis. Limit the things that can cause irritation (like I mentioned, excessive washing, try pads, wear cotton underwear, change out of wet clothes asap, etc), keep track of where it falls in your cycle just to see if its connected. Even keep track of your diet to some degree, noting if certain foods are consumed on the days when its an issue. Not saying you are... but women going through menopause (with hormone swings) can experience this... and your body can be experiencing some of the same issues coming off birth control.

Unfortunately, this isn't a one symptom, one answer problem. So it might take time, as you are still possibly irregular, recently off birth control...

If you were my wife id first look at all the things I mentioned above. Also I would to your doctor... if your doctor isn't particularly helpful, ask for a referral to a specialist. It still might be a waiting game, but that doesn't mean you don't need a plan or to try some things. Inquire about hormone levels (though I don't know the reliability of this so soon after birth control) being checked. Step through some things and give it some time.

[J_9]

Guess I'll step in now, I am an OB/GYN registered nurse after all.

I have to agree with everything that KP has said.

BV can cause swelling of the vaginal canal, as well as hormonal changes caused by discontinuing the birth control.

KP, my dear you are right on track as usual.

[ALERT-1]

ok when me and my husband have sex its very hard for him to get in. he says my vagina is too tight and sometimes it hurts him to stay in me. and on top of it ive already had a child so i dont understand why i would be tight. whats wrong? why am i so tight down there?

If this is a new problem for you with the same man then I would look to see what is different. My son had an issue with this. His testosterone was checked to be low. He is into working out and building muscle and so guess where he decided to put the cream to see if it would make him bigger. You got it. Well, the problem was two fold. First, it made her shrink inside and also started to give her other problems (wild hair growing where it had not before).

It took a doctor to figure out what was going on when they checked her blood and urine. They could not figure out why she had elevated testosterone. Lucky for her the husband decided to come clean. There are a lot of supplements that help promote the building of testosterone also. Check and see if your husband is taking any of these and make sure that you are not taking a supplement that could be doing this to you..

The doctor told my son to change their sexual position until everything got back to normal. She was to get on top or he was to position himself behind her. It took about two months for everything to go back to normal. The problem that I do not understand is where your husband is complaining about pain. This does not sound normal at all as I cannot imagine being tight enough that it could cause pain. Extreme pleasure comes to mind but not pain.

[angel0772001]

Is it weird that when I pee it smells like the cereal that I ate this morning??