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wolfgangqpublic · Aug 12, 2008, 01:34 PM

Hi all,

I'm going to cut to the chase - I am madly in love with who is in my mind the best girl in the universe. She's cute, smart, funny, sweet, and most importantly caring. I love her more than anything else in the whole world. We've been good friends for quite some time now. There's only one little problem - the boyfriend. I know this sounds bad of me, and I know that I shouldn't be in love with her. But I just can't help it. I've tried and tried again to forget about her but I just can't. Not at all. Plus, her boyfriend is a total moron. He smokes, drinks, etc. though she tells him not to. She's still very, very close to him and likes him a lot. Even still, she tells me all of her secrets, (even passwords) in full faith, which makes it clear that she trusts me a hell of a lot. She tells me stuff she doesn't even tell her bestest friends. Plus, she calls me one of the sweetest and cutest guys she knows, and that people like me are extremely rare to find. I really, REALLY love this girl and would do absolutely anything to have her. I just can't seem to get her out of my mind. When she calls me on the phone... it brightens up my whole day. She called me yesterday and I was on the verge of telling her how I felt. But I didn't. My best friend, also close friends with her boyfriend, wishes for me to have her as my girlfriend too, and says that her jerk of a boyfriend doesn't deserve her; that she would be much better with me. Please help me, she is the girl of my dreams.

Thanks,
Wolfgang

HeadsHigh · Aug 12, 2008, 01:37 PM

Sorry dude its not your place to tell her how you feel. She's spoken for and you should respect that. Sorry but the chances are that she only sees you as a friend granted your probably a very good one but that's all you potentially could ever be to her.

Smoked · Aug 12, 2008, 01:42 PM

You realize of coarse this is one of the oldest tactics in the book? She is keeping you on hook just in case her "real" love doesn't work out.

You need to STOP being manipulated. She could be the greatest woman in the world but she is spoken for (someone mentioned it I know). That makes her off limits NO MATTER HOW YOU FEEL. Bottom line.

Be her friend, but if your feelings get in the way of that you might think if distancing yourself.

wolfgangqpublic · Aug 12, 2008, 02:18 PM

Thank you all for the quick replies. Hmmm, I am deeply saddened that that's the way you guys feel about this. What further disappoints me is the fact that I agree with you. See I also had a crush on her once. And I foolishly confessed it to her (when it was over) - she was cool with it, and still continued to be my friend. What I failed to mention to her was that my crush blossomed into true love. Oh man this is killing me inside. :(

HeadsHigh · Aug 12, 2008, 02:22 PM

Oh man this is killing me inside.

You have no choice but to take a step back.. you must for your own sanity.

ylaira · Aug 12, 2008, 02:42 PM

For your own sake, you must withdraw yourself from that friendship little by little. Its life ruining to be faithful angel to someone unavailable. Why?

1. You will be forever fantasizing but thats no t your gf,
2. You will be jealous but you have no right,
3. You're concern about her choices but its none of your business
4. most of all you are closing heart but you are technically available.

wolfgangqpublic · Aug 12, 2008, 02:46 PM

But she means the world to me... withdrawing is not as easy as it sounds. :(

ylaira · Aug 12, 2008, 03:08 PM

Originally Posted by wolfgangqpublic

But she means the world to me... withdrawing is not as easy as it sounds. :(

Yes it is hard but that's what's good because she's taken. I was in your shoes (5 yrs ago) but as I said do it little by little. Start by turning down invitations, decrease talking to her; if you talk to her 7x a week make it 5 then 3 to once, get new set of friends that doesn't know her and a new hobby.

Hippiefeet · Aug 12, 2008, 07:18 PM

I agree, you should step back a bit and see what happens, being further away from her might give her a reality check. I don't want to say, give up hope or your dreams, where would we be with out dreams. You know that saying? "You don't realize what you have unitl it's gone?" Some space will give both of you a chance to think and breathe. Who knows, she might come to her senses and choose you over him. I can not guarantee it, because she might really love this guy. If she doesn't choose you, then you have lost nothing...

wolfgangqpublic · Aug 13, 2008, 01:37 AM

Thanks a lot for the replies. I realize I'll have to either avoid her, or be her friend until her boyfriend messes up, and then maybe take it from there. Avoiding her is going to be the hardest thing to do on this world, but I guess that's what I'll have to do. Thanks for all the advice guys... :(

Romefalls19 · Aug 13, 2008, 06:11 AM

All you can do is back away, right now she has chose to be with this guy. You can't control what she does but you can chose what you do in response to it. And I think you should walk away before you end up more heart broken

talaniman · Aug 13, 2008, 07:31 PM

You need your own life, and be out of hers. Do you think it has got back to her how you feel through your friends??

Alty · Aug 14, 2008, 01:36 PM

How many women are you in love with? Who do you really love, your wife or this girl?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/immigr...fe-213885.html

I think we need the big picture here, did you not think we'd check your other posts?

bigdee · Aug 14, 2008, 01:45 PM

Sorry man but it looks like she looks at you as a very close friend / confidant. The reason I say "sorry" is because IMO the "best friend to boyfriend" transition is an unlikely one. Even if she breaks up with her boyfriend, chances are that she'll want you as that best friend to comfort her and not as someone that she can start a new relationship with. I don't want to say that it never happens, but it is rare so don't get your hopes up...