[-Chrystalyn-]

I was married for the second time in May of 2008. Three short months later I feel like he doesn't love me or maybe never did but doesn't want to be alone? He is often unemotional, defensive and questions my motives. He has two children from a previous marriage and I have one. His ex-wife seems to be a constant issue with us as he will often defend her and even let her bad mouth me in my own home. I am having trouble getting past these things so that we can try to have a happy marriage... any advise is welcome!

[N0help4u]

Many guys are like that and it is a part of their personality and doesn't mean they don't love you. May even be an issue that ended him divorced. BUT you need to let him know you do not want to put up with it and you want the two of you to work on the problems even if it means going to counseling. Don't just let him treat you this way.

[tsila1777]

His ex-wife seems to be a constant issue with us as he will often defend her and even let her bad mouth me in my own home.

I would suggest cu**ting him,(but only as a joke) but that's not allowed on here, that is what I would feel like doing. Of course I never would.

You should be number one in his life, not his ex-wife. Did he get the divorce or did she? That may tell you something.

If she got the divorce, he may still be in love with her... therefore he defends her... I would not put up with it for one minute.

You deserve to be loved, you have a right to expect to be number one in his life. You need to find out if he loves you, the best way is to ask him. If he says yes, then ask him why 'she' is allowed to bad mouth you in your own home. What is she doing in your home anyway?

Better to know the truth now and endure the pain then get out and get on with your life and find someone who truly loves you.

If my husband didn't defend me, even against my own children and grandchildren, I would feel offended and hurt. My 5 year old grandchild, although he was playing, was going to hit me, my husband stood up and told him, he better never hit me. Then he calmed down and explained to him that a man should never hit a woman.

I felt like a princess. You deserve to feel that way, especially in your own home.

Does he seem to have low self-confidence? Is he depressed? How old is he, at a certain age, men tend to have problems, it could be, if he is nearing 50 that he needs some medical help.

I think nohelp4u had a good idea, if he will go along with it, get counseling.

I hope you can work this out and get to the bottom of what is going on with him. Maybe she is holding something over his head, something he is ashamed to tell you about, and is afraid to stand up for himself or for you. Maybe she is overly aggressive, which appears to be the case, and he is just used to being bullied by her.

Please let us know if any of this helped.