[amy321]

I need help with this. I found out that my 17 year old went out with a 38 year old. Can't that man get in trouble for that? I don't think she should date someone that old. Do you think it is right for someone that age to date someone that old? Can people date someone that old when you are that age? Is it right or wrong? :confused:

[mizz_on_her_own]

Well, most people would say that it is completely wrong but Honestly to me it wouldn't really matter as long as he is treating her right. Because to me age is just a number. But don't yell at her just talk to her calmly and talk to her about how she feels. And if you really don't think that it should happen calmly explain that to her.

[NeedKarma]

You have a teenager yet you date boys?
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...do-199346.html

If fact the whole story based on your questions sounds weird.

[ScottGem]

Are you allowing your daughter to use your name? Because some of your posts appear to be from a teen and others from the mother.

No its not right for a 38 yr old man to date a 17 yr old girl. But its not illegal to date. There are no laws governing that. However, it may be illegal for them to engage in sexual activity. While most places use 16 as the age of consent it may be older in some places or there may be a disparity of age clause.

Well, most poeple would say that it is completely wrong but Honestly to me it wouldn't really matter as long as he is treating her right. Because to me age is just a number. But don't yell at her just talk to her calmly and talk to her about how she feels. And if you really don't think that it should happen calmly explain that to her.

Of course to you age is just a number. That's because you are a kid who doesn't know better. But age DOES matter when the people involved are minors or one is a minor and the other an adult.

[ScottGem]

In my opinion it is ethically and morally wrong for a 38 yr old to date a 17 yr old. But its not illegal. However, if your daughter is pregnant, when the child is born, gert a DNA test. If he's the father, he could be looking at a statuory rape charge depending on where you live.

[N0help4u]

You think it is wrong to date that old I do too. It is hard to say because people say let them be. But then it might not be his kid it might be the other guys. But I am still mad because if it is his I think I should do something about it like that. Then the people said number dont matter as long as they are happy and is that true? What happen when the one gets really old? What do other people think about the numbers?

Unless your states age of consent is 18 she most likely can see him legally.
She will have to get a paternity test done before anybody can say who the dad is if she has been with more than one guy.
By law numbers do matter because he could get in serious trouble for statutory rape depending on where you live.
If she denies having sex with him and the baby is not his it would be hard to prove any statutory rape though.

[N0help4u]

Should they? It is up to you as mom to stop it or she is going to do as she pleases.
It looks like she is going to do what she wants so whether she should or shouldn't seems a bit irrelevant
Unless you can put your foot down and stop it. Then she may just get creatively sneaky at seeing him.

[N0help4u]

I don't know the guy. I don't know your daughter. I don't know what kind of relationship they have so I really can't say but for her to be seeing other guys at the same time I would say they must not have an 'all that' relationship so I would say it is not good and go as far as saying it is not right. She really should be with the one she loves the most and drop the rest.

[N0help4u]

Personally I think she should drop them both because she does not seem to love either or she would not be cheating.

[N0help4u]

Yes I want to put my foot down. But why would a old man like that want to date her? Do you think it is right?

You say Yes I want to put my foot down BUT you sound more concerned about why the 'old man' would be wanting to date her like it should influence your decision as a mother I don't think it should influence your decision. How and when do you plan on putting your foot down?

[N0help4u]

Why as a mother are you concerned about what others THINK?
She is YOUR daughter.

[N0help4u]

You don't think she should have no guys so then does that mean you feel she should be with somebody she doesn't even really love?

[liz28]

Does she have a father figure in her life? How long has she actually been involve with this guy? Not to be rude but I think you are totally cluesless when it comes to your kids and need to really step up and be a mom and take charge but it might be a little too late but then again there is a chance for some impact.

My aunt let her daughter date and then live with a guy who was 35 while he daughte was only 16. Oh, but her mother loved him because he was a firefighter. Most of my family, including me, found it to be very perverted because what 35 year old what to have a 16 year old as a girlfriend and we later found out she was messing with him since she was 15, it turned my stomach and me being a mother I'll never allowed this.

Back to you Amy, you need to have a talk with all your kids to find out what's going on in their life. Sit them down one by one and have a long overdue talk with each.

[amy321]

So you think she should go out with a 38 year old. She is with one her age right now but she wants the 38 year old because she loves him more. Do you think that is right?

[liz28]

What do you think and how does it make you feel? Forget what everyone else think. If you was talking with your daughter right now about this matter what would you said? Where did this guy come from anyway?

You need to step up!

[N0help4u]

So you think she should go out with a 38 year old. She is with one her age right now but she wants the 38 year old because she loves him more. do you think that is right?

Again why are you so concerned about what others think?
We already did tell you what we think and none of it seems to answer whatever it is you are wanting to hear. We have said if she doesn't truly love him then she should leave him. We have said you are the mother and you need to tell her what she should do. We have told you that it does seem not right.

Are you looking for us to say it is perfectly fine no problem or he sounds like a pervert forbid her to see him?

What do YOU think of the guy as a boyfriend for YOUR daughter?
What is their relationship like?
Do you think he loves YOUR daughter?
These are the things you need to be asking yourself rather than worrying about what others think.
Heck if I worried about what others thought I wouldn't even be able to have a boyfriend my OWN age.

[liz28]

Amy, I am starting to think that your playing games because most of your responses makes no sense at all. I don't know what your motives are but you really seem to lack being a parent. You should be aware of everything that going on in your kids life or at least keep up with them. I really doubt that your daughter would listen to everything that you said because she don't take you serious so therefore she would do what she want and won't realize her wrong until she get older, I hope so. You really need to be a parent and you should know what right and wrong otherwise how would your kids know? Your daughter should be more concern about her unborn child instead of a guy/s. You need to question this guy background with your daughter and find out have they ever engage in sex because if she stated that she loves him there is a background. You need to some guts and really have a talk with your kids. If and when you do, don't be afaid to ask anything and don't be shock to any responses.

[ScottGem]

I'll say this one more time. It is morally and ethically WRONG for a 38yr old to be dating a 17 yr old. There is absolutely no question in my mind about that. And anyone who tells you different is just as bad as he is.

You seem to be one of the most wimpy mom's I've ever encountered. Your kids are in their late teens and you've never talked to them about the birds and the bees? You stand idly by while your teen age daughter is involved with a man old enough to be her father? You let yougt kids spend frequent overnites at their gf/bf's?

Lady, you need a clue. You need someone to show you how to be a parent because you seem to have given up on it.

[ylaira]

Your feelings is understandable but would you rather see your daughter hang out with a horny and druggie 17 yr old who still lives with his parents?

So long as he's single,he's respecting your daughter doesn't look lost while dating him, you should feel OK.

Get your husband talk to him, man to man: the guy needs to wait and sure he should know his limitations are because your daughter is still a minor.

[ScottGem]

So long as he's single, she's respected and ur saughter doesn't look lost while dating him, you should feel ok.

You aren't seriously advocating that she allow her 17 yr old daughter to date a 38 yr old?? What the heck are you thinking??