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Marc306 · Aug 10, 2008, 10:56 AM

Hey everyone, before I start I want to apologize for any grammar or spelling mistakes :).

Well as my headline thingy said I have lost myself in my ex girl. To me its like every moment I spend should be with her. I guess I should start with some background info, I'm 19 and have many relationships for my age, my ex girl was one year younger than me when we first met and we dated for almost 2 years. We were madly in lobe and so happy but along the way we started having stupid fights and I started getting an anger prob and then things finally changed and we broke up and I haven't been the same since. What annoy's me is that she made me practically the man I am today, my good aspects came from her and from her breaking up with me. I think about her every day, I think about where I went wrong, what I said and was it my fault. I have been with many girls since and it seems like none can come near to the girl she was, but in fact they prob are better than her, I just can't see it. My family see the wonderful girl I have right now, she is loving, caring and genuine, never asks for much but always willing to give and I just can't seem to understand why I can't fall in love with the girl that is making me so happy, instead I think about he girl that made me cry many nights, made me angry and made me forget my virtues. I have been raised a different way that my other siblings. My father taught me respect and love for everyone, I show no hatred to blacks, jews, other religions etc. I believe we are all here for a reason and we must await that reason. I just can't understand how my life went so wrong because of one relationship. I dropped out college cause it made me think of her, I have changed my partying places because I see her and have completely lost my future cause I have stopped all activities that made me, me, I stopped learning, I stopped meeting new people and I've started living in a fantasy world, where I day dream about the perfect life where she isn't there. I know to many this is another stupid break up where the person is just angry and annoyed they where dumped but it has been more than a year since me and my ex broke up and I still can't forget her. I just need help so badly cause if I don't get over my ex every genuine girl I bet will be gone because of me getting annoyed that they are not her. I would really appreciate any help anyone has to give, and once again for any grammar or spelling mistakes I apologize!

Thanks for reading I appreciate it :)

Marc

Thinker2255 · Aug 10, 2008, 04:18 PM

Originally Posted by Marc306

hey everyone, before i start i want to apologize for any grammer or spelling mistakes :).

well as my headline thingy said i have lost myself in my ex girl. To me its like every moment i spend should be with her. I guess i should start with some background info, im 19 and have many relationships for my age, my ex girl was one year younger than me when we first met and we dated for almost 2 years. we were madly in lobe and so happy but along the way we started having stupid fights and i started getting an anger prob and then things finally changed and we broke up and i havent been the same since. what annoy's me is that she made me practically the man i am today, my good aspects came from her and from her breaking up with me. I think about her every day, i think about where i went wrong, what i said and was it my fault. I have been with many girls since and it seems like none can come near to the girl she was, but in fact they prob are better than her, i just can't see it. My family see the wonderful girl i have right now, she is loving, caring and genuine, never asks for much but always willing to give and i just can't seem to understand why i can't fall in love with the girl that is making me so happy, instead i think about he girl that made me cry many nights, made me angry and made me forget my virtues. I have been raised a different way that my other siblings. My father taught me respect and love for everyone, i show no hatred to blacks, jews, other religions etc. I believe we are all here for a reason and we must await that reason. I just can't understand how my life went so wrong because of one relationship. I dropped out college cause it made me think of her, i have changed my partying places because i see her and have completely lost my future cause i have stopped all activities that made me, me, i stopped learning, i stopped meeting new people and iv started living in a fantasy world, where i day dream about the perfect life where she isnt there. I know to many this is another stupid break up where the person is just angry and annoyed they where dumped but it has been more than a year since me and my ex broke up and i still can't forget her. I just need help so badly cause if i don't get over my ex every genuine girl i bet will be gone because of me getting annoyed that they are not her. i would really appreciate any help anyone has to give, and once again for any grammer or spelling mistakes i apologize!

thanks for reading i appreciate it :)

Marc

I went through something similar. I know it's hard to believe but you will get over her. It may not be for another year or so but you will. As for the girl your with, if you don't love her you don't love her. Don't blame it on the other girl you miss, you shouldn't try to force yourself to love someone.
There may be something missing in your current relationship that your old girlfriend had. Try not to think about it and find a close friend to talk about it to.

talaniman · Aug 10, 2008, 04:37 PM

I understand heartbreak, but you have carried it far beyond that, and have allowed yourself an excuse to wallow in your own self pity. Get a grip, and get busy rebuilding your life, bit by bit, and stop using your hurt to make an excuse, for you to do nothing for yourself.

Who do you think is responsible for your life choices? Need to see a doctor for deppression?? Do it, and stop looking for answers that you already have.

Read the stickies for this forum, a link is in my signature. Read the whole signature as a matter of fact, and get busy.

maxim_r · Aug 10, 2008, 07:03 PM

Being overly needy and dependent on another person is the death knell for a relationship. There is nothing that will destroy a relationship faster, save for cheating or something else like that. I suggest you take some time to work on yourself and define who you are before you enter another relationship.

Spikeman · Aug 11, 2008, 12:57 AM

My friend we share the same problem. I too went through the same thing with my past two relationships and it is horrible, but at the same time it is a valuable chance for self renewal and growth. It is a time to experience new parts of life and new strengths you never knew you had. Sure you lost yourself in this girl but it doesn't mean you can't grow stronger from it. Do you have hobbies? If not I would suggest looking at some new ones. When my past ex left me I took up mountain biking because it put me to peace. Now Im not saying its for you but there are things you can do to get over this girl and move on.

So in summary: get up, get out, get registered for classes at a college, and get active and meet new people and the rest will follow suite.

And for your sake please get back into college!

Marc306 · Aug 12, 2008, 09:07 AM

Cheers guys, I really appreciate the feedback, it all makes sense, and right now I'm just figuring out how I put it into action! Spikeman lol I'm not of a mountain guy but think ill start some cycling, beats walking or jogging lol. Really guys I appreciate it, I had visited many sites about this and that etc and yeah they all knew the answers, but what you really need is someone who knows how you feela and to knock some hard sense into you, so I thank you!

Marc