[Toodlez892]

Before I ask for help with my problem, I probably should tell you how my problem first started. I am 17 and the guy that I am referring to will be 18 in September. We will just call him Alex. Several years ago I moved away, and have been unable to physically see Alex since.

Alex and I were childhood sweethearts. Though we did not openly call each other boyfriend and girlfriend, we did like one another. Alex had been my first friend, and for the longest while he remained my only friend. I loved him with a passion. We had promised one another that we would get married when we were finally old enough. He even gave me a golden ring so that I would never forget he loved me and one day it would just be the two of us.

However the summer before 5th grade my mother got a new job and my family was forced to move away. Despite our efforts, Alex and I eventually lost contact with one another.

Six years passed before I was able to find Alex over Facebook. At first he was so eager to see me. For several months we made plans to visit one another, but because of the distance between us our families were unable to make the commute. Now one more year has passed and because of our schedules Alex and I can't even find time to talk to each other.

I am afraid that he has forgotten how deeply I care for him. I know that I must sound like a psychotic wing-nut, or that I am simply too young to feel this way and perhaps you think I am being overly dramatic, but that's just not the case. I grew up knowing this boy was my one and only. For the longest time our families told us we were the perfect pair and would likely end up together.It was something I was certain of. It breaks my heart to think that it won't ever happen.

I have tried dating other people. I even thought I fell in love with one guy, but my feelings for Alex have always held me back from truly giving my all in a relationship.

I have not asked him if he still feels or remembers the way he once felt about me for fear he might reject me. And he has not asked me.

Deaths and family problems have left me on the brink of depression. When I was with Alex I was truly happy. I simply need advice and encouragement on how to deal with this situation. I don't feel like I can ever truthfully move on until Alex is back in my life.

Emotionally I have nothing left to loose.
Please give me any advice you can.
Thanks
- Toodlez

[ISneezeFunny]

Toodlez:

Disregard the emotionally inept question above, and don't let that deter you from asking further questions. The above poster wasn't hugged very often as a child.

With that said, I understand how you two have moved apart, but it's really nice to hear that you two got in touch with one another. With today's technology, it's relatively easy to stay in touch with phone, text, e-mails, etc.

As of right now, you two are having trouble keeping in touch... but who knows? Maybe once you two get in college... get a job... etc, it may be possible. For the time being, it doesn't hurt to just say HI every once in a while.

I don't want to shatter your preconceived notion about "alex," but people change... and this idea of the guy you fell in love with in the past may be a different guy. I'm not saying he's not a nice guy, but we always put "the one that got away" on a pedestal...

With that said, you have a bigger issue at hand, which is your happiness. As many people can tell you, a guy does not fix your happiness. Generally, good relationships stem from the union of two people that are generally happy with themselves. Have you considered perhaps speaking to someone about your problems?

[HighandDryinnNy]

I know that I must sound like a psychotic wing-nut

Hunny, you do. Hate to break it to you, but Im sure alex hasn't been hung up on you this entire time. Yeah, he was excited to see you, Im sure you both had fond memories of each other. But that's all it is. Memories.

When I was with Alex I was truly happy.

Of course you were! It was 5th grade!! You were what, 10, 11 maybe? Ok first loves die hard but hun, I think you are clinging onto something that's not there. All those problems you are talking about are reverting you back to this fantasy of fifth grade and alex, apparently your "happy place". Deal with those issues before anything else. To love someone else, you must love yourself first.
Truthfully, it sounds a little creepy when someone you haven't seen in yeaaaarrrsss from childhood comes back and says, "ilove you youre my one and only"
Additionally, when I was in 5th grade I adored hanson,baby doll tees and nano pets. And I hated boys. 10 years later, I listen to hardcore metal, wear grown up clothes and own an actual pet (unfortunately not a baby dinosaur). And that hate for boys? Long since faded. That sweet little boy you remember from 5th grade is now a young man, can you imagine what he's like now? (picture the boys from your high school and cut copy paste his face)
You need to either say something and deal with the answer, or move on. I'm not saying that one day it will never be the fairy tale romance you envision, but lets cut the crap and face reality. Make moves or move on. Be prepared to move on. Goood luck and let us know.

[maria16]

It sounds like you may be expecting too much from him... which could potentially scare him off because of the pressure it places on him.
I agree with ISneezefunny, if you are dealing with issues of grief and other events, maybe talk to someone or a friend or just find a way of coping and living positively...

But, back to Alex... if you feel like contacting him again, send a little email, but nothing over the top- see if he contacts you. Do keep in mind you were in the 5th grade when you liked each other and the level of emotional maturity at that point...
If it has been a year since you last spoke with him it may be worth trying to restart contact, as long as it is healthy for you. Continue dating other people, but first of all try to feel secure being alone.

[Toodlez892]

Yeah... I just read back my post and to be honest it does sound a little creepy... okay a lot creepy. But to put it in plain English. I have been in a lot of bad relationships and I kind of got to the point where I wanted to go back to something simple and innocent, and to the best of my knowledge that's how Alex and I were. Okay well duh... we were 11 &12 but still. He was my best friend and I kind of miss the connection we shared. I'm just looking to get that back...
Oh and I am not unhappy with my life either. I just tend to write things and make them sound more dramatic than they are.

[talaniman]

Your best bet is to look forward not back. I'm sure he was a swell guy but doubt if he is the answer to your prayers. Hey, be responsible for your own happiness and maybe he will want to share it. You could ask and at worse, he could pass on that.

At least you could then get back to the reality of living, or writing great romance novels. Hmmmmm!