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Need for a break.but
Hello all.
I have a story to tell you and I would like to make your comments Me and my girlfriend are together for 1year and 3 months. I had to go away (not emotionally) for a long period... for the most of this period (which was very difficult for me) she was supportive. And I got back 5 months ago Well someone could say that she is the best woman... 3 months ago she told me that we should have a break (not a break up)... I said OK I asked if she was interesting for someone else and she denied it... I just want to be with friends she said... All of this time she (almost every day) use to ask me to go for a walk, to stay in my place... etc... things that we use to do when we were together... the fact is that sometimes she wanted to be together and other times she was telling me that we are on a break... So I (like a fool) was keeping to accept her suggestions for being together sometimes (sex included)... A month ago we had a short of a fight and I told her that I don't want to be with her any more... Her reaction to this was to start cry and asked me not to break up... for once more(like a fool) I accept it... last week she told me that we should not be in touch for a period and after three days she called me to her place... and after that she once more told me not to see each other She told me that it is okay to see other people but when she saw me talking with another girl she got mad... I decide to cut communication with her but could anybody answer some questions Why does she want to have a break and being together occasionally? How can I understand if she is interesting for someone else? Should I stick to no communication method? Thanks in advance I don't know |
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Why does she want to have a break and being together occasionally?
How can I understand if she is interesting for someone else?
Should I stick to no communication method?
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She wants to be in control. See you when SHE wants to, talk to you when SHE wants to, be with you when SHE wants to. Sounds like the relationship is all about her and what she wants when she wants. YOU are the puppet on the string and you keep falling for it every time.
She either wants a break or she doesn't... sounds like she doesn't want a break she just wants you when SHE wants you. Next time she says she wants to see you tell her that you figured out what a real break is and now you feel it is time for a break from her. |
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Why does she want to have a break and being together occasionally?
She doesn't want a relationship with you, but doesn't want to be alone either. She can call you for whatever she needs, since your so willing to do as she says, without a relationship. How can I understand if she is interesting for someone else? She wont call you to come over and service her any more! Should I stick to no communication method? You mean No Contact?? Yes disappear from her life, and heal, and find a healthier relationship. By going along with her program, you send the message that you are okay with this behavior, and she is treating you accordingly. This ain't love on her part, or yours. Just me, I would have been long gone, and she would be wondering what happened, but I would never look back!!! A healthy relationship is about partners who care and are honest with each other and work together to solve their problems. You have none of that here so keep your dignity and self respect and leave this confused female alone before she drives you crazier than what she has already. |
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Tal hit the nail on the head yet again. She is using you for comfort and as soon as someone else comes along, you are tossed away like garbage! You are basically just a plastic mold that she is playing with. CUT off ties with her, and start to heal. You deserve better
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Well this Saturday I told her that we should not be together (not being on a break but a break up, which by the way I believe is more or less the same) and she told me that she want for a period just to be alone and not to cut from me forever... the same day she called asking me where would I go for the night... I told her that I would go to a club... and she asked me if she could come over... since the club does not belong to me I said OK and she came there and she was all the time near me... more over this Sunday she called me one more time asking me again what would I do for the night... when I told her that I would stay at home she again asked to come at my place... some times I wonder what the f@#k does she want... any suggestions?
Thanks |
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I agree with what Talaniman said and
She doesn't want to be committed to you but she doesn't want you to find somebody else. Sort of like the 'IF I can't have him, ain't nobody else going to have him either' mentality. You have to tell her that you want a bf/gf relationship or NONE at all because your relationship should be to that point and not digressed back to the start of a relationship. IF you do not want to be with her then you have to put your foot down and say NO and stick to it rather than allowing her to control you. She wants to go everywhere with you because she knows that since you are not officially together that you ARE free to hook up with any girl you decide to be with and that has her scared. |
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Hello people.
This situation is starting to annoying me. Well I also feel a bit of dissapointed. She went at her grandparents home with her parents and when she came back she asked me to go to her place since her parents would not be there for the weekend. The pointg is that she does not show a steady character, she may be desire me at Monday and don't want to see me on Tuesday. Any suggestions or comments? Your advices are really helpful |
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Since she is running the show, and you get annoyed, but still do it her way, I suggest you just let things go the way they are. Now if it bothers you, just say NO! Take your balls and go home. If she will give them back!
Sorry to be so harsh, but its you thats allowing her to do as she pleases. |
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She's a puppetmaster and pulling your strings. I know you care for her, but when are you going to start being more than a spectator in your life?
The way you keep from getting burned by the craziness of others is to NOT play when they toss their weirdness in your direction. I don't care how good the sex is, it can't be good enough to warrant living this way. Tell her to have a good life and walk away. Claim some sanity for yourself. |
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Ok I found that there is no other guy. She wants to be without a relationship for a period. Moreover this weekend we met on Saturday at a club and she played the I need you - I don't care about you game. This Sunday she called and ask me if I would go at the beach in order to come with me (I told her that I'm already there and she came on her own). Which do you think my stand should be now?
Thanks |
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Ok people... the story so far was Me having bad temper Me having neglect myself Me being the one who chase and try for The medicine finally was "NC" People in this forum are saying this over and over again... Believe them it is the only solution because 1) It may act against the one who asked for a break. Dump you e.t.c. And 2) NC will give you time to think if you really want your relationship to end or if it is worth trying to save it Actually there are many other reasons but each one can find out a new. With NC facts became clear for me and my decisions were taken. I had enough... As for me: I finally feel OK with myself I go out with friends and after six months I actually enjoy it (do not ever neglect your friends for any reason in your life) I started go training again (Muay Thai) which I also had neglet it for six months I saw progress in my job I do not know what the future will bring but I know that I can live the present the best I can... I would like to thank each and everyone who spend time to read my post and tell me his opinion... I will continue to read people's posts in this forum and support it Stay cool |
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