[Whispros]

:confused: :(
Okay... I know you have heard it all before but I am 22 yr old Female, the oldest and only female born to my mother. My boyfriend is 29. We have been together for a while and we love each other more than anything... he even wants us to marry! We met from my Uncle... He is my Uncle's best friend. After a ruined relationship and some "Single" time for over a year, I met Eric. My Uncle talked highly of him. From the moment I spoke with him on the phone I was captured! We talked every night on the phone for hours getting to know one another. After two weeks, we finally met... when he stepped out of the truck, oh I almost swooned! He was way cute!! We were shy at first just standing there with my mother, uncle and aunt. After the crowd panned out, we started chatting. He invited me to his house for dinner.. I agreed. He cook steak (my fav) and we laughed the night away.. I felt so at ease with him. I live in mid Florida and he lives in North Florida... it takes two and half hours to see him... we try to see each other every weekend but lately we settle for everyother week. We still talk every night on the phone for hours. You see, I live in Melbourne with no family but my parents and two brothers. I love them dearly but I don't want to live here. All my family (Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Grandma, etc) all live where Eric lives. I mentioned a few months back that I wouldn't mind moving back to North Florida, I would just hate the drive (From the little town to Jacksonville, its 25 mins) but I could live with it, that was the ONLY con (the driving into town)

Eric asked me three months ago if I would move in with him. I thought about it and I really want to. I love him with all my heart and we are so right for each other... my heart tells me, this is where I belong. I mentioned it to my mother... who herself is separating from my step-dad. She at the time wanted to move back too.. so after all this time, I am finally ready to move in the next two weeks and my mon is freakin out on me.

She says she is not mvoing to a dead end town and that I am hurting her by moving away, that she thought we were closer than that... I was a fool for moving to be with him.

Eric is a Master Electrician and he works with a great company making $30.00 an hour at 29 years old. He is VERY respectful!! He was in the special forces in the Marine Corps, when he got out three years ago he bought 10 acres on land and is now building a house on it for us... you would think she would love to have her daughter meet a man as such... who will provide well, good to her, doesn't raise his voice, great with children, etc.

I am stuck... I know what I want and I want to be with him but I am battling with my mother each day now. Eric and I want to get married, we are planning to elope... we know a wedding will stir the pot with my drama family! He is even hurt by the things she says... we both sat on the phone last night and we BOTH cried thinking we might have to end it... but we told each other we would get through this bump in the road and stay strong... of course, my mother was outside my bedroom door listening to everything I said to him last night while I was crying and then she threw it in my face this morning asking what he had said!! How could she! I love my mother very much but its getting too much.

If I choose him , I lose my mother, if I choose my mother then I lose Eric... Its not fair... and yes, I know lifes not fair but damn! I want my own life! She says that I was never there for her and anything else she could throw at me... I don't know if she is mad because I have a wonderful man and will live a great life with him or what. I just don't know... I feel so lost

Please, offer some advice... am I in the wrong for moving to be with my soon to be husband?

[Guidostern]

You shouldn't have to choose between the two. You are an adult and your mother should respect the decision you are making. It sounds like she's having a control issue which comes around when kids move away from home. Are you the youngest? I will tell you that my mother did the same thing to me when I moved away and I was married... so yeah, don't put others happiness ahead of yours. Go for what you want... your mother will get over it. You can still be there for her, even if you aren't in the same house/town/state/country as she is.

[Emland]

It's time to decide whether you want to continue to be momma's little girl or risk making her angry and doing what you want.

I don't recommend eloping after only knowing this young man for 3 months. Scan some of the posts here - you will get the idea. You need to still like a person after all the initial puppy love wears off before you get married.

[Whispros]

You shouldn't have to choose between the two. You are an adult and your mother should respect the decision you are making. It sounds like she's having a control issue which comes around when kids move away from home. Are you the youngest? I will tell you that my mother did the same thing to me when I moved away and I was married...so yeah, don't put others happiness ahead of yours. Go for what you want...your mother will get over it. You can still be there for her, even if you aren't in the same house/town/state/country as she is.

Thank you for your answer! Your right... I am the oldest but the only girl. I shouldn't have to choose but she is making me... I know when I move, I won't look back. Thank you again for your advice... it feels lighter knowing that someone from the outside agrees and I'm notbeing blind.

[Whispros]

It's time to decide whether you want to continue to be momma's little girl or risk making her angry and doing what you want.

I don't recommend eloping after only knowing this young man for 3 months. Scan some of the posts here - you will get the idea. You need to still like a person after all the initial puppy love wears off before you get married.

We have been dating for much longer. He asked me three months ago to move in with him and he asked for my hand a month ago.

I hate to risk my relationship with my mother, I love her dearly and will always be there for her but I can't give up the one I love either. Thank you for your answer! I will take that advice... :)

[Romefalls19]

It's your decision as you are an adult, its about time you spread your wings. Your mom will be upset for a little bit but will get over it eventually

[talaniman]

I don't recommend anyone move in together after only 3 months, and that's just the bottom line. If its been longer let me know I'm wrong.

It may look good on paper right now, but your still starry eyed strangers.

[plonak]

Don't let your mother ruin the great relationship you have with your man.. if you guys are thinking about marriage and you're both really that serious, you shouldn't let your mother get in the way..

You're an adult and it's your life.. you found the man you want to marry... be with him, if your mother doesn't like it, then that's her problem.. and it's up to her if she doesn't want to talk to you..

Im glad you found and amazing man.. I don't see too often on here that people actually found the right people for them and don't have any serious problems...

[Janmarie]

Your mother will always be your mother, that is something you will never lose whether you speak to each other again or not which would not be your fault if that were to happen. Parents have to let go, this is something that one thinks about when their child is born is that someday they will grow up and leave the nest. It is hard for a parent but they except it. Which is what your mother needs to do...letting go and excepting. You can't live your life for your mother...you have your own purpose in this world. Follow your heart not your head. People say that the heart is mushy and shouldn't be trusted and that one must be logical about matters of love.....but I say that isn't true. The heart is more logical then you could possibly imagine and it needs no explination....it just knows.

[Whispros]

Thank you all for your opinions and advice!! It makes my heart lighter knowing I'm not in the wrong... I do have to live my life for me... once I leave I won't look back. I am so in love with him... I can't even put into words how I feel when I think of him... it feels so very right.

talaniman :
Eric and I have been dating for a bit over a year and the whole time, its been a weekend thing... he asked me three months ago to move in with him and last month he asked for my hand. Which I accepted. We have fought and stayed strong through this "long distance" thing... him driving one weekend to see me and me driving the next... it has slowed to everyother weekend. I miss him so very much, even though we talk every night for hours, I can't get enough of his voice... it is heaven when I stay with him on the weekends I see him...

I hope I make the right decision and I ask for your prayers... I will move to be with him.. he is my future... If my mother can not accept that fact then she doesn't have to call.. I love her and I always will but I have to be happy too... she lived her life and now its time to live mine instead of always thinking of what they will think. Thank you all!!

[talaniman]

Eric and I have been dating for a bit over a year

My blessings then, and I hope you two keep working together, and love and enjoy each other.

[NowWhat]

Follow your heart on this one.

Your Mom is going through something with your step-dad and is probably just trying to hold on to what she has. It doesn't make it right, but she is just trying to hold on to her little girl.
She will come around. She loves you.

The worst thing you could do is to NOT live your life. If you let this man go because it pleases your mom - you will grow to resent her. One day there will be no relationship at all.