[confuse]

My exboyfriend and I broke up 6 months ago. We work together, he's 33 and I'm 29. He broked up with me, he said he lost feeling because we worked together at first it was really awkward. We didn't talked to each other, we just ignored one another. He wouldn't answered my calls or talked to him if he did it would be really short.

Then a few months ago (June), he started to engaged in conversation with me. I wasn't even talking to him, I'll be talking to a co-worker of ours and he would jump in the conversation. It was weird at first because he went from one extreme to another. I think he realized that I was weird out by his suddent change so he step back a bite. But he still makes every effort to say 'hello' every time we ran into each other at work. Now if I asked him a questions whether its through email or texts he'll respond as suppose to before where he just ignores me. Just the other day he came by my cube to drop off 2 glue sticks because I kept borrowing his.

What I'm trying to get at is does he still likes me or is he playing games with my mind? I still like him but because he broke up with me I refuse to ask him. I invited him to do something afterwork a week ago but he said he have to study for a CPR exam the next day or something like that. He had an excuse this time before he would just say he already have plans and leave it as that. Anyway, I can't read him, sometimes out of the blue he'll send me email to see how I'm doing but when I respond or go talked to him, I get a different respond as if he doesn't care and he's busy what do I want kind of thing.

I'm confuse any advice would help.

[ISneezeFunny]

Does he still like you? Maybe. Is he playing games with you? Probably.

He broke up with you because "he felt awkward"... which, to me, translates to... "I'm just not that into you..." or maybe, "I found someone else"

Maybe he's "into you" again, or maybe that new person didn't work out. Regardless of the issue, you have to ask yourself whether you want to go through that again. Was your relationship good otherwise? Are you willing to jump into it again with the possibility that he could leave you again with the "I feel awkward" excuse?

[butterlip]

Do you love him

[confuse]

I do but I been hurt before by this person so I don't want to do anything that will get me hurt again. The worst thing that can happen is if I ask him out only to have him reject me again. That is why I asked the question on this website if he still likes me or is he just playing games with my head.

From my experience usually exs don't come around unless they want to start something new. However like I said I can't read this guy so I'm not sure of his intention. That's why I post a question online to get some advise.

[ISneezeFunny]

From my experience usually exs don't come around unless they want to start something new.

I agree... but what is that something new? Many times, it's not a relationship, but sex... or because they're lonely.. or because they miss your company.

[confuse]

For sure it's not sex because when we were together we both said we want to save it till we're marry. Though I'm not sure about the lonely part. However what's confusing is that when I invited him to do something the other day he said he had to study for his CPR exam. He could have repropose for another day but he didn't. He's giving me mix signal.

Mine you that I was his first real girlfriend. Hard to believe huh a guy 33 years of age never had a girlfriend before until I come around and what do you know he dump me. Haha!

[confuse]

ISneezeFunny you sound wise. What is you take on my situation based on what I posted so far?

[ISneezeFunny]

Haha, not wise in any sense... maybe drunk, but not wise ;)

In my honest opinion, I don't know the either of you. I don't know the dynamic you two have had, nor do I know how the relationship went, or how it ended. I don't even know how long it lasted, and whether it went well.

What I do know is that relationships end for a reason... and the reason that your ex gave you stinks. "Working together is awkward"... is NOT a reason for a breakup.. . I think he KNEW you two were working together BEFORE you two got together, no?

I also don't think that exes come back strictly because they changed their minds about you... of course, it happens, I'm not discounting that at all.

My suggestion to you is that since he's sending you mixed signals, don't worry about it... as you'll drive yourself insane just thinking about it. Go about your life as you did in the past... and if he wants to get something across to you, then let him do it. Right now, I think he's baiting you and trying to get a feel for how you feel about him. If he wants to talk to you, let him come talk to you... if he wants to see you, let him make the plans.

Sooner or later, he'll reveal what his motives are. Right now, I'm not so sure he's really ready to do that, as seen by his "CPR exam" excuse. (who knows, maybe he really did need to study... regardless).

Take it easy, take it slow... being his friend isn't a "bad" idea, but don't get in too deep and don't set yourself up for hurt again.

[confuse]

ISneezeFunny, Thank you I will take your advice. You are correct I will only drive myself insance if I keep thinking about his motive. I pretty much did what I can do, I mean I went as far as inviting him to do something after work but he came back with an excuse saying he has to study for his CPR exam. In away that is a kind of a sign that he might not be interested because if they're interested they would make the effort, right?

Anyway, the reasoned why he broke up with me was not because we worked together but because he said he lost feeling toward me, he doesn't know when he lost that feeling, another of his lame excuse. We were together for a year.

Again thanks for your advice I will take it easy and should he wishes to talk to me then let it be if not then let it go. I will not try to go out of my way to contact him.

[confuse]

ISneezeFunny another question for you. Last week I sent him a lunch invite through our calender system at work. As of today he has accept it or decline it, should I just cancelled it or should I continue to wait for his respond? The lunch was suppose to be for this Friday 8/8.

I'm tempted to just cancelled it because by now he either know what can or can't do lunch or he plainly forgot about it. What do you think cancelled or wait?

[ISneezeFunny]

It's up to you. Is it lunch just between you and him?

I say, make plans accordingly... based on what you want. You making plans with him may make him back up just a bit. It's now Tuesday, so if by tomorrow, he hasn't responded, then make your own plans. Don't live your life according to him, live it according to what you want to do.

[confuse]

Yes lunch is just between me and him. No location anywhere there's food. It's odd why he hasn't respond "yea" or "nay." I sent out the inventation this time last week.

After talking to you I'm tempted to cancelled it. I don't want to come across as being to accomandating after all I did send out the invite since last week by now he should know whether he wants to do lunch this Friday. But for him to keep me hanging is kind of upsetting. I don't want to appears as if I'm just waiting for him to respond neither. What do you think?

[talaniman]

I think he wants to be friends, and nothing more, so stop inviting him to stuff, and just be friendly.

You're the one who appears to be chasing him.

[confuse]

Ouch! I should just cancelled lunch with him then. He hasn't respond anyway.

[confuse]

talaniman, just curious what makes you conclude that he just wants to be friend and nothing more?

[notbigthing]

It's a loud and clear case, he think after 6 months, its long enough for you to get over him, and its time to be FRIENDS again, so, he can talk to you like friends, he don't intent to go back to your old romance, its history, so, don't think too much, you can be friend to him also,and you will meet new guy who is more suit u.

[confuse]

Then why do I still catch him checking me out from time to time? Now we all know being friends with an ex is almost impossible not to say it can't happen but it takes more then 6 months. Don't you think?

I've never been able to stay friends with any of my exs. If we start talking again usually it tend to lead to something more in the long run. Maybe its just me.

[notbigthing]

Its not impossible to be friends with exs, I talk with exs, about life work etc, its over, so, I don't feel pain talking to them, I moved on, found new, its life. With time, I survive.

[ISneezeFunny]

Some people remain friends with exes... some don't... it's a personal thing. Also, the time it takes to be friends... depends on the people involved, the relationship they had, and the way that the breakup occurred. Some exes, I haven't spoken to after the breakup... others, I've remained friends after 2 - 3 months, and with no confusion.

You may catch him checking you out... but all guys do. It's genetic. In his perspective, perhaps you're checking him out.

[confuse]

Haha! I find myself checking him out because I like still like him. I guess when I find him checking me out I thought he's still interested in me as well. But you guys have a point, if he were to be interested he would have agreed to do lunch with me rather then do a no respond. Because he's talking to me again did gave me false hope. The last thing I want is to appears as if I'm chasing him that will only boost up his ego.

As selfish this sound but if he's only interested in being my friends then I rather that he ignored me like before. At least at way I don't hold on to false hope. Its funny how when we first broke up he made it clear that we shouldn't be friends at least not for awhile because he doesn't want me to have false hope and yet he came around after 5 months wanting to be my friend. Guess that sort of gave me false hope. Sometimes I felt that he might want more then plain friendship other times it felt like he just wanted to be friend. His action is not matching up maybe because I'm looking for more.

If he just wants be to be friend then call me selfish but I can't be his friends because I still like him more then a simple friend. I must have come across as being so easy and accomendating to him since I kept inviting him to do stuff. No wonder he doesn't even care enough to respond to my invitation. Am I asking too much?