[ylaira]

Is it possible to have a long lasting relationship (& possibly marriage) to a person you love but you are not physically attracted with? My friends and cousins tell me its VERY IMPORTANT but I disagree because most of my Bf's weren't all love at first thing but I loved all of them because of the things they do for me.

Has anyone share the same opinion or its just me?

[Alty]

It depends on what you find attractive. My husband is a wonderful man, he has it all, for me anyway. He's funny, smart, kind, caring and I think he's handsome. Now, you may look at him and think he's average or unattractive, or you may not be attracted to his personality the way I am. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and attraction isn't always physical.

[Romefalls19]

Alten hit the nail on the head, it depends on what you find attractive. I mean looks will always factor in but it doesn't have to be a deciding factor at all. A person could be drop dead gorgeous on the outside and completely ugly on the inside. Depends on what you want out of the relationship

[ylaira]

I think the same. Guys to me maybe be handsome but right, I don't go for them just because they are. My BF's were not handsome but they are however nice, smart, financially stable and gentlemen. I just wonder why my cousins& friends don't take their Bf seriously because "they are not handsome" then why they are still hooking up.. I love to think that maybe they are not just into them at all.

Nothing.. I just thought that since I meet a lot of women who says the same thing, I questioned myself maybe its true that physical attractions matters A LOT.

[friend4u178]

I think that physical attraction can be a turn on when you first meet someone. Therefore people do have relationships based on physical attraction , which in my opinion won't last in the long run.

However when you actually fall in love with someone it is because you love the way their personality fits in with yours and the way they make you feel etc.

Like they say "Love is Blind"

[maxim_r]

There has to be physical attraction for a relationship to start, unless it is more of a business decision, i.e. for money, green card, status, or whatever. But if it is a relationship based on love, physical attraction is necessary in the beginning.

And obviously, physical attraction is subjective so what you find attractive might not be attractive for someone else.

[talaniman]

Physical attraction, and love are two different things. You can be physically attracted to millions of people if you care to check it, but love is a bond, that gets better when the partners are working on it together.

[ylaira]

It's not good to hook with someone if you have some hidden agenda. Same thing if you go after beauty alone (e.g trophy wives). Ideally, these things have to be together but that's not always the case.

But, is it a NEED to have a physical attraction? I just believe you can teach the heart when everything just fall into place. I mean, Im after the bond like Tal said, someone who can make me better someday, be it a career or improvement of my future kids and who can jive on my personality. I just consider beauty as a bonus.

[erin7799]

I was with an amazing man at one point. He would move heaven and earth for me and my son. The attraction however, was not there for me. I tried. I really did. I tried to fool myself into thinking it was there. He made loads of money, drove a lexus, we went on vacations and I thought... "This man loves me so much, how can I let him down?" But I had to because it wasn't fair to him. When he had me trying on engagement rings I knew that I had to end it. I couldn't pretend anymore. I couldn't let him be w/ someone who didn't feel that attraction. I didn't "want" him the way he wanted me. He's a good lookin' guy. He comes from a prominent family. I mean everything was there but when we'd kiss I felt nothing. I loved him dearly. But just realized it wasn't fair. My mom tried to tell me that some of the best loves are the ones you grow into. Not the ones where you can't keep your hands off each other. I think she just wanted me to marry him. I have one life and I am not going to spend it w/ someone who doesn't make my heart flutter at least a little.