[Desiree193]

I saw an similar situation here, but it's very different from my own and it didn't help me at all so that's why I decided to give it a try. I like my manager more and more everyday that goes by. He's 26 and I'm 18. When I first started the job and got introduced with him I didn't like him back then since I wasn't really looking for anything it was just business. It's been over a month and after working almost everyday with him I found myself attracted to him. It was not even his physical appearance, even though I like how he looks too, but his inner self that drives me crazy. I've never met anybody like him, so full of life, caring, sweet, energetic, funny and hard worker. His personality shines above any other worker/manager there. When I'm working and he's not schedule I'm so sad and miss him so much! All I can think about is him. When I'm not schedule and he is I'll go to the store to "buy something" just to see him and talk to him even if for five minutes only. I'm a very honest person specially when dealing with my feelings. The thing is I'm afraid to confess to him since in a way it looks inappropriate to me. I'm also scared of rejection since I believe in his eyes I'm nothing more than worker there. I don't want to lose my job either in case somebody else found out, but is worth the risk I guess. I've never been involved wit a coworker or anything like it before... I used to always say that is not good to do it, but here I am doing just that. I hope somebody can help me. I really want to tell him, but how I approach? Or should I just keep it to myself ?:confused: Thank for your time and sorry for the long paragraph.

[Always_helping]

DANGER! DANGER! DANGER!

In the past, I've worked in retail for several years (which it appears you work at too) and I've seen *a lot* of stuff happen between people.

I say: Do not ever date a superior (manager, supervisor, etc.) who you work with.

It simply is not worth the risk. I know you may not understand this now, but TRUST ME.

I'm not negating your feelings for him, but you are young and I do not want to see you in some situations I've seen when I worked retail.

Peace

[ChihuahuaMomma]

In most retail places you can lose your job for dating a manager if you yourself aren't management as well.

[Wondergirl]

Is he married? Does he have a girlfriend? If so, that, along with dating a coworker (and your manager!), would be a Very Bad Thing To Do. You could get fired, and he could get fired.

And don't forget--you are still a teenager and he is pushing 30. That's kind of a big age difference. You're just finished with high school and he has carved out a life already.

The only solution, IF he is unattached and IF he is interested in dating you, quit this job and find another one.

[Clough]

I make it a general rule for me not to get involved romantically with anyone with whom I might work. It can lead to big problems beyond the relationship if things go sour with the relationship.

You're 18. So many things to experience and explore. As Wondergirl has already mentioned, pretty big age difference.

I have been attracted to and also been in love with a number of people. I am still in love with some of them and them also, still with me. Does that mean that we were necessarily meant to be together? No. Does that mean that it's not okay to still be in love with some of them and them also with me? No.

For one reason or another things didn't work out. But, it's okay to still be in love and continue on with our lives. As you gain experience with being involved in relationships, you will learn to grow and learn what I mean.

There are "many fish in the sea" to find and explore as far as intimate relationships are concerned. Best to go "fishing" outside of your work place for the one best suited for you.

But, it's best not to jeopardize your job because of an initial attraction that you might have for another person with whom you work.

Just my opinion...

[Desiree193]

I make it a general rule for me not to get involved romantically with anyone with whom I might work. It can lead to big problems beyond the relationship if things go sour with the relationship.

You're 18. So many things to experience and explore. As Wondergirl has already mentioned, pretty big age difference.

I have been attracted to and also been in love with a number of people. I am still in love with some of them and them also, still with me. Does that mean that we were necessarily meant to be together? No. Does that mean that it's not okay to still be in love with some of them and them also with me? No.

For one reason or another things didn't work out. But, it's okay to still be in love and continue on with our lives. As you gain experience with being involved in relationships, you will learn to grow and learn what I mean.

There are "many fish in the sea" to find and explore as far as intimate relationships are concerned. Best to go "fishing" outside of your work place for the one best suited for you.

But, it's best not to jeopardize your job because of an initial attraction that you might have for another person with whom you work.

Just my opinion...

Thanks so much for knocking some sense into me and everybody else who replied. For my sake and his I will not say anything and try to forget him. It would be very difficult, but I have no choice. I really hope these feelings will go away soon even though I have to deal with seeing him all the time at work. I know the only way would be to change jobs, but I don't want to I really like my job too. Well I guess it can't be helped! Thanks a bunch!!

[dontknownuthin]

Take a step back and think of what path will get you where you want to be. If you have your mind made up that you want the American dream for example... great career, beautiful home, nice car, fun marriage to a hot guy, vacations to Mexico and Disney and Europe... what will get you there?

Dating a 26 year old retail worker that you work for? No. That diversion is way out of the way on your path to that kind of idealized life.

How about you take your retail experience and look for a new retail job as an assistant manager or that involves being part of a "management training program". Check the paper and internet - there are a lot of these opportunities out there.

In the meantime, continue your education whether trade school, community college,university... it's a must if you want serious financial success down the line. Do it now, later is the hard way.

This way, when you finish your education you can have a resume that combines that education with work experience managing other people. This is huge and is a transferable skill/experience. For example, if you have management experience at a subway restaurant, and a degree in nursing, you are building a resume to be a nurse who is responsible for her department or floor, which pays better and has better hours and perks.

As for a boyfriend? Meet someone in school or through friends and choose guys who have a plan for their lives and are following it with determination. Sexy isn't so sexy if they guy isn't going anywhere and they are holding you back. And, make sure he's close to your age... dating an older guy at 40 when you have your own home and everything is one thing. Dating an older guy at 18 though - puts you at a disadvantage as the lesser partner in the relationship because he's been on his own longer (Hopefully!) probably has more life experience, etc. which puts you in an inferior position in the relationship. Not good for you!

Best wishes... it speaks volumes for you that you are really thinkikng about what is best and not going for the immediate fun. Continue to make decisions that will move you toward your goals and you will get whatever you want - whether the American Dream I described, or whatever it is that is your heart's desire!

[cnkkodani]

Hmmm...
I'm just a hopeless romantic and I believe in beating the odds. Ask yourself, "is he worth it?" So many people in the world live their lives half-full or on empty. I would not date him because he is your manager. BUT if you really have deep feelings for him then perhaps you should consider finding another job AND THEN confess.
But really, it's up to you...
And hey, if you do become successful at your endeavors, it will be like a big fat F-you to the world. =]

[ChihuahuaMomma]

I would hope the OP has this situation fixed, and hopefully she made the right choice.

[MissssB]

It's really weird how this is completely what I'm going through. ( And even the same age difference.) I don't know what to do. I can tell he flirts with me, but deep down inside I feel like it's just all in my head. But I think what I'm going to do is stay away from him. I don't want to risk my job, or me getting hurt. It'll be hard, but I'll do my hardest.

[okayyokayy]

Soooo as I was reading your paragraph, I was getting a little freaked out because everything you said is exactly what I'm going through now. So what's the update? What ever happened?