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samesame · Jul 30, 2008, 07:24 AM

So my ex and I have been broken up for over a year. Over the past year she has contacted me a few times to see how I was and to tell me about some of the important things going on in her life. I was always confused by this and thought that maybe she was still interested in me. Anyway, since finishing her post grad and travelling quite a bit early in the spring I thought now may be a good time to talk with her again and maybe see if there was a spark still. Over the last year when she contacted me she was always very loving and it seemed she was still interested in some way. Anyway, a few days ago I asked her if she wanted to meet up since we haven't seen one another in so long. She agreed. The problem is... since then she hasn't found the time for us to do so. It's only been a few days, but it seems a bit suspicious that she's so busy. Also, even before I asked her, for the first time in the last year, of all the times we've spoken, she seemed almost indifferent - like she was talking to an aquintance... very brief and vague. It kind of made me feel as if I was bugging her. I'm not sure. Anyway the way it left off was that she said for us to get together next week... but no date was given. So my questions is, what does this mean? And what should I do in this situation? It kills me because this is the first time I let my guard down and now I feel like I'm chasing her all over again. But at the same time I still love this girl very much (although I keep that to myself). Any thoughts? Thanks for the advice!

N0help4u · Jul 30, 2008, 07:50 AM

It doesn't seem like she is on your priority list and sounds like she is being evasive about getting together because she may be worried that you would read too much into it.

samesame · Jul 30, 2008, 07:54 AM

Thanks, but what I don't get is then why has she been contacting me all this time. What does she want? We're not friends. I just don't want this to keep going on that she pops in whenever she feels lonely. That's why I wanted to meet up to talk with her about it and bring some closure.

Romefalls19 · Jul 30, 2008, 07:59 AM

Because she wanted to keep you as a distant friend, which is what you still are. Her ending it is closure enough, she is over you. She is treating you as nothing more than an occasional friend.

samesame · Jul 30, 2008, 08:02 AM

Thanks for the advice. Harsh, but I'll take it. So my question now is... that being the said. What do I do?

N0help4u · Jul 30, 2008, 08:03 AM

Treat it the same you would as a guy friend that you never get to see that occasionally contacts you. Often we have to find closure within ourselves. Just because she calls to say what's up doesn't mean she is looking for an ongoing relationship.
What you do when she calls is just talk and no expectations of any kind.

samesame · Jul 30, 2008, 09:33 AM

I know what you're saying. But I wanted to meet with her just to get some things off my chest I've held a lot in the past year or so... regardless of the outcome. So I wasn't sure to maybe text her next week and see if she's still up for meeting up. Or just leave it and see if she gets back to me on her own. Any ideas?

N0help4u · Jul 30, 2008, 09:41 AM

Since she said she would maybe ask one more time but then leave it go.
Tell her you wouldn't have asked again except for the fact that she said okay.

talaniman · Jul 30, 2008, 10:38 AM

You are filling yourself with false hope, based on very unrealistic expectations, and you need to let go, and stop this contact, as she has moved on, and your no longer worth more than a passing conversation. Be busy with your own life and unavailable for her "friendly" contacts.

She will never give you a chance to question her motives in person, so stop trying.