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miller3 · Jul 30, 2008, 04:34 AM

Hi everyone,

Ok, so its been 5 montsh since me and my ex have been broken up. I recently mailed back her things last weekend and asked her in a note to send mine back. Still I have not got my things back. Initially we were going to set a date to meet to exchange but I ended up sending hers in the mail because she said that if we would meet it would only be to exchange our things because she just started to heal and don't want to hurt anymore, so I made it easier on her and mailed back her things giving her the option when I am around her area I could still pick up my things if she would leave them at a disclosed loacation so we would not have to see each other. Since I have heard nothing from her. I don't undertand why she is dragging her feet with this, also when I talk to her she is always mean to me saying and reminding me of the things I did wrong with us. After 5 months she is still mad? Can you guys tell me what is going on with my things and why the meaness from her when we talk?

Thank you!

f104 · Jul 30, 2008, 04:49 AM

She may not have your things any longer. Are the things she has really that important or can they be relatively easily replaced?

miller3 · Jul 30, 2008, 04:52 AM

She has them. We talked about it. Like I said I sent hers back to make it easier on her so we don't have to see each other. Trust me she has my things, and no there not important but I do not want ties between us meaning another month or 5 months down the road I don't want a reason to contact her or for her to contact me. Its not about the things it's the meaning behind it. Why do you think she is always mean to me when we talk ?

CheekyChop20 · Jul 30, 2008, 05:06 AM

Im in the same boat as you. Ill throw some advice which I've been given at you.
She's not giving your things back for the following reasons:

a) she can't be bothered
b) your stuff has been binned/burnt
c) she's not completely ready to let go of you (that one makes me laugh)
d) she's stubborn i.e she'll return your things when she wants to, not when you ask for it!

She's mean because she resents you still. Did you guys part on bad terms?

Romefalls19 · Jul 30, 2008, 05:09 AM

If the belongings are important, my advice would be to simply write it off as a lesson learned. It sucks, but some people like to wait to exchange stuff, me I prefer to do it that day and get it done and over with so I can start healing.

miller3 · Jul 30, 2008, 05:23 AM

Romefalls19, I am the same way. I mean she ended it and there has been no progress over the last few months and it seems to me that she is moved on, so what the hell, just return my things. Her and I had a intense talk about this. I know she has them for 1, I don't think she is holding on for something to happen. I think she just does not care or want to deal with it. Now on resenting me what in detail do you mean? 5 months has passed and yes it was on bad terms but the first 2 months she was nice to me and saying I was wonderful and now she is mean all the time. What gives?

miller3 · Jul 30, 2008, 05:24 AM

I mean 5 months and she still resents me? When does tha end? What does it really mean?. that she is still hurt or not over the situation?

miller3 · Jul 30, 2008, 05:26 AM

I sent a letter in the box with her things that said... " here are the dates i will be around your area, so pack my things in a box and let me know of the date and time so i can pick them up, or just mail them to me what ever you want to do"

How much clear can I be?

miller3 · Jul 30, 2008, 06:21 AM

Can anyone help me out? IS There a way to stop her from resenting me?

liz28 · Jul 30, 2008, 07:09 AM

There's no way for you to have her not to resent you. I think you should move on. Its been 5 months and the things at her house have no importance so why keep holding on to the past? Forget about the things you have there and stop calling her and sending letters about it. You most likely will never get it. So chop it up as a lesson because if you do get these things back do you think it will give you closure? Closure will be letting it go now and be happy you lost nothing of value because some people have.

miller3 · Jul 30, 2008, 08:18 AM

You are right. I told her there will not be a next time of me asking for my things, and there won't. I just feel if I force her to return my things it means or shows her that I am fed up with all of this and I just want to move on from her with no ties. Anyway thanks.

liz28 · Jul 30, 2008, 08:25 AM

By not contacting her will show her that your fed up.

talaniman · Jul 30, 2008, 10:19 AM

I think moving on, and forgetting what she has of yours, is the thing to do to stop worrying, and wondering, what's on her mind. That's best in the long run, for your healing.

tolerance · Jul 30, 2008, 04:12 PM

I agree with the above, stop being petty and move on. When I was together with my ex I left my laptop at his house that I brought a week before other break up and my ezpass. He refuse to return my things until I showed up at his door with the men in blue because my things was of value(money) and importance. You stated yours was not, I think your doing it to kind of talk or have a reason to call, stop it. Man up and walk away.

maxim_r · Jul 30, 2008, 08:50 PM

Write it off and just move on.